Post what you cannot say

[montejocarlo]

god... your condescension is intolerable. can't you just stop talking for a while and look in the mirror?!

every word that comes out of your mouth is poison that slowly and painfully kills me.

i'm trying to make an effort here. if you can't trust me, the least you can do is quit your habit of constantly reminding me how much you don't believe in me.

 

[Feeling_Nothing]

I miss you you filled the empty spot inside of me but now your gone, I got no clue how I'm going to get over this.

 

[Graeme1988]

I know you don't want to hear this: But, why did you decide to move back here to this dreary, miserable, rundown, depressing, embarrasing s#*thole of a town, anyway?

 

[Phoenixx]

I can't say this yet, but I'm awfully close to telling you some day. But it's not like it would matter, you never listen to me anyway. I'm sick of your overly-pessimistic views, your negative judgmental aspect on the world and people around you, I hate how you're always willing to say whatever you want and make fun of whoever you want simply because it makes YOU feel better. You speak your mind, great, but add a filter and choose your words wisely. Better yet, don't have anything nice to say? Don't say it! Simple as that! Just because you're able to speak your mind without thinking twice doesn't make you appear confident, it just makes you appear like a douche to everyone else.

Also, don't complain to me about your problems if you don't put in even the littlest of effort to change them. Yes, I complain, and I'm quite good at it, but at least I TRY to sort things out and solve my problems. If I fail, I try again. It's a constant process. You just keep trying and trying, no matter how tiring it gets. Don't come to me whining about how "hard" your life is. You may be older than me, and been through a lot more situations and experiences than I have, but no way do you struggle as much as you think you do. You have everything in your hands, yet you don't even know how to use it to your advantage. I've tried helping you, and all you do is ignore my advice and continue on with your so-called "hard" life here and how much of a "struggle" you think it is. Don't give me that BS. Let's face it, you're lazy. I'm not sure what's taking you so long to realize that this pattern you've gotten yourself into is taking you no where, but I really hope you discover it soon.

Edit: Just thought I'd add that this is directed at NO ONE here.

 

[MrJones]

I want to tell you something, but you never listen to what I have to say...

____________________________________

I'm really sorry, but I can't promise I won't try it again.... I don't do it because of you, but I'm afraid I can't keep living like this only for you, I want this to end ::
I don't know how much longer I'll be strong enough to stay.

 

[Section_31]

you may not approve of who i am, what i do, what i think or feel.....

I have the satisfaction that im going out outlive you.

 

[Orion's Hound]

I never got the chance to thank you. No, that isn't entirely true - I chose not to because you are in a committed relationship. You are with a good guy, it seems. Letting you live with him while you go to school and even used to build robots when he was nine. Smart guy. Makes good money now. A sight better than me, I suppose. I almost feel guilty when I wish I had met you before him. What was I doing when I was nine? Getting beaten unconscious by my step-dad? Ridiculous. But you did always smile and talk to me. I like you. You always had a way of making me feel human. I smiled for you without trying. No, no, that isn't entirely accurate. I love you. I think I did when I first watched you give that speech about your zombie phobia in front of the class. Something about your bright, brown eyes and the way your voice hit me. Christ, you are so pretty. I'm sorry, I don't mean that. Don't think I am a creep and stop talking to me. I just like you like a friend. Don't get all weird on me.

No, that is another lie. I do love you but I want you to be happy so I won't tell you that. Just a friend, don't worry. I want you to still laugh at my jokes and say I am funny and fun to be around. I wish there was a you for me. Is that creepy? Disregard it. Take care of yourself. If I hear of a job fair for someone with C++ knowledge I will message you. I ask around about that these days. What are friends for, right? The last time we talked was on Facebook back in November. Did I cross the line when I messaged you over Christmas and suggested hanging out a bit? You never sent me a message back. I did, didn't I? No real way back from that. There is no apology good enough for crossing that sort of boundary with a girl. I want to message you again but I am worried it would only drive you further away.

Maybe I will hear of a job fair or some programmer or tech support job opening that will give me a legitimate reason to contact you again. Maybe I am just talking shadows.

(Whoops, sort of mixed in stream of consciousness in with the words. Not like anyone really reads this stuff seriously anyways, but still. Funny, I always feel incredibly tired when I am honest with myself)

 

[Little Miss Muffet]

I dont understand: you never stopped drinking - I left you cos I thought you would be happy with someone else; that I was not enough for you. 12 weeks later youre gone; gone forever. When they told me I was like " dead and what does it actually mean". I think how, how could things have been different, the only way i could have coped with the alcohol was if i was drugged up so much; I could not have you anywhere near me.

I think about you everyday - it shouldnt have been like this; i thought youd find someone who could make you happy.

 

[Section_31]

The fact that you people hid this from the family has made me really question everything i thought was true....im shocked by what ive discovered, its so disturbing i dont dare tell anyone else for fear it would rip the family apart......

I quietly hate some of you for what youve done, the decision you made that wasnt yours to make.

 

[StandingJelly]

To - person 1
Next time when we converse ...
WOULD YOU STOP PUTTING "Yeh" IN EVERY SENTENCE! And please slow down!
[I couldn't say that, she's actually a nice person, lol]

To - person 2
Hey you, I'm sorry I didn't come ... all those invitations. I tend to avoid social scenarios, I hope you understand

To - person 3
Wow, you can strike conversation with ease with anyone and could continue it for hours! I'd like to observe more! Really how do you do it, and find out about someone else's life but contributing only a little of your own? Even me? You wave to people when we walk outside, people just comes to you when you sit alone waiting for me easily within 20 seconds; then you attract a huge crowd of people who you introduce me to when we eat. Oh, sorry I didn't go to that tribute thing, I just couldn't go, I got the hint you invited me somewhat ...

To - person 4 and 5
Can I have your phone number? I really like to get in contact with you in the future.

 

[Agent_Violet]

I'm in love with you...for now.

 

[MrJones]

I still don't know if it's true or not... I hope it's not and that you're fine...


But I can't stop thinking about it. Why? You had still a lot to do, you had goals in life.... you were brilliant, but I know how emotions can make us take such decisions sometimes.

I don't really know what would I say even if you could read this... Ive spend hours and hours crying alone in my room, wanting to scream but nothing would even go out. I'm just so horrified by the idea of it....

You made me realize how feelings could be developed over the internet with such and intesity that most people can't even imagine.

I still can't stop listening to "our song"...

Peter, Bjorn & John - Objects Of My Affection - YouTube

'Just because something starts differently
Doesn't mean it's worth less.'
And I soaked it in, how I soaked it in
How I soaked it in
And just asked to prove how right he was
Then you came.


And the question is was I more alive than right now?
I happily have to disagree
I laugh more often now
I cry more often now
I am more me.


I told you there will always be a special place for you in my heart and it will always be there. I'll never forget you. Thanks for being part of my life.

Rest in peace.

 

[Graeme1988]

If you were more empathetic and less hostile - and stopped telling me to "Shut up and stop f#*king complaining". Maybe then I'd be able to talk to you about my problems and how I'm feeling more. And we'd better relationship, instead of it being so hateful and bitter.

 

[Piece_By_Piece]

You always get my hopes up... By just showing up. Then you let me down again, you just leave me, without telling me why. Tell me what you want, tell me what you wanna do, or then just stop bothering me. I'm tired of this.

 

[StandingJelly]

When I said it once, I don't do much, don't repeat it with conclusion 'so you don't do anything during ...'. I know, I don't want to come up with excuses anymore, I just don't do much. I stay at home and surf the internet, watch whatever documentary, movies, or clips I like. I don't go out shopping, play sports, or 21st parties! I'm the type who'll only study and work! And enjoy being a hermit!

 

[montejocarlo]

i'll give you credit for trying. but until you know what's wrong and make an effort to change it, nothing you do will ever work.

and sorry if i was holding back. i didn't know how to react. you caught me by surprise. i didn't mean to make you feel neglected.

 

[Agent_Violet]

I'm so sick of you waving your status in my face.It makes me want to scream at you so loud that i lose my voice. I don't love you anymore now that I see who you really are...you make me sick.

 

[lust4love]

To My Immediate Family : Mom i wished you cared more about me you used to care and be so gentle but it was so long ago im starting to forget. I know dad hurt you so bad you weree never the same after all his abuse. I wish u payed more attention to me and asked how i was doing and helped me with my Proble. To My dad: I cant even stand to be around you i dont know who you are anymore. Your whole life had been a lie, they way u mentally abused the family and physically and mantally abused my mother is sumthing hard to forgive. The way you have harrassed my mother and stalked and done all these crazy things and took them out on me i have no repect for u anymore.
To My brothers i wish we were as close as we were in the home videos of us as a child when life was simple and everything was so messed up , i also wished you cared more i was the only girl in the family you two at least had eachother i wish one of you would of stepped up.

To My grandparents : its sad tht u have become so bitter and fragile i only wish u the best .

To lost friends: You never really did care u used me for my kindness and quitness. Im sorry i cudnt be mrs popular but i cud never forgive u for wht u have done.

to Myself: One day u will get better and be the person u have always wanted to be and do the things u have always wanted to do.

 

[Feeling_Nothing]

I wish things were different, I wish I could call you or mail you but it will only end up in both of us hurting again...I think about you every single day and even though you said it would get easier, it doesn't...not sure how I can ever forget about you.

 

[BlueDays]

You were a worthless human being, only someone with no heart or feelings at all could have done what you did.