Post what you cannot say

SilentAndShy

Well-known member
Some people really do make a huge drama out of every thing in a professional environment - one example of miscommunication, and everyone turns into schoolkids waiting to tell the teacher breathlessly about what happened, thus leading to an item agenda on the team meeting that I would say will be implicitly referencing me rather than the whole team. FFS, hope I get a job with mature adults than fucking teenagers who snitch at the drop of a dime!
 

planemo

Well-known member
I hate when you view me as an emotional punching bag. I understand people get upset when there's issues, problems, and obstacles in their lives, but to make me as the scapegoat for your life not being perfect? Someone who has zero impact on those situations which you dislike. To blame me and use me as an object to vent your frustration is just beyond words.

What's worst, is that you claim others treated you in similar ways in the past, which from your point of view is virtually unforgivable. So it's wrong when it's done to you, but completely fine, if you do it to others? Oh no, not everyone though, just a worthless piece of trash like me, right?
 
Ah hate how you will constantly be negative about things. Am I supposed to huv sympathy for ye, like? Then ye hud the nerve to tell me ya hate when I’m not here. How many times over the years did you just piss off somewhere without telling me? So, I can’t go anywhere but you can, huh? Does’nae really surprised me considering how controlling you been over the years, really.

The sad part, though, is how you ruined the relationship you have with me. Oh, am the favourite; the yin kid you had that ye actually get along with. Yet, I’m the one who always nagging and getting on at ye, when I’m only trying to make things better for you. I’m the one who gets treated like shit aw the time; but the second I get pissed off at you, I’m the bad yin.

How come we never hang out together anymore? Remember when we spend the weekend watching TV shows that we both liked? Heck, when the last time we watched the original Star Wars trilogy over a weekend? Ah miss them days. :cry: Now, whenever ah come downstairs, yer laying on couch. Lookin’ knackered, and staring at me like you rather I go back upstairs to my room n’ just leave ye be. Oh, that’s not how it is, well it’s the impression ah git. So, sorry...
 

theoutsider

Well-known member
Just because I forgave you didn't mean I was giving any of you the green light to go back to the way things were before. Sorry, I'll never let my guards down around you people again just so that you can feel comfortable enough to repeat the performance. You're not friends, you're ex associates who I used to associate with. Now a simple, pleasant, "Hello, how's it going?" is all I can manage and remain sincere. I refuse to be fake and pretend to be interested beyond that. Oh, you're offended that I don't greet you like old friends now? Sorry, you lost that privilege a long time ago. Let that be a lesson in how you treat others in the future. You can go ahead and label me as the bad guy. Your opinions don't matter to me, never did.
 
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I am genuinely getting pissed off with how you treat me. :mad: And ya think it’s a fuckin’ joke, don’t ye?

Aye, cuz it’s funny how ya continue to speak to me like am a fuckin’ child, isn’t it? Just cuz am the youngest. Oh, it’s a right laugh. Being talked down to by folk who are dumber than ye, innit? Then there’s the fact that that every-fuckin’-time ah ask anything of ye, ya just give excuse after excuse. Yet, am fuckin’ guilt tripped into doing stuff by you and my sister. Because, as has been clear that last few years, you lot cannae fuckin’ stand being told “No”. Me, on the hand...

Ah’ve just hud to get use to being let down aw the time by family. Kinda difficult to trust folk when they’ll lie to ya, and promise ya something that they huv nae intent of doing for ya. After awhile ya just stop take ‘me at their word.
 
Just because I forgave you didn't mean I was giving any of you the green light to go back to the way things were before. Sorry, I'll never let my guards down around you people again just so that you can feel comfortable enough to repeat the performance. You're not friends, you're ex associates who I used to associate with. Now a simple, pleasant, "Hello, how's it going?" is all I can manage and remain sincere. I refuse to be fake and pretend to be interested beyond that. Oh, you're offended that I don't greet you like old friends now? Sorry, you lost that privilege a long time ago. Let that be a lesson in how you treat others in the future. You can go ahead and label me as the bad guy. Your opinions don't matter to me, never did.
Well said (y)
 

SilentAndShy

Well-known member
You know a conversation? It can be two way ya know. It doesn't always have to be me initiating how your weekend/holiday was, how did this event go etc. You - yes, you - can start up a conversation even though I'm ten years away in a nearby office. Try it, it's nice. I'll appreciate it but you know you all, I'm not going to show my face to people who don't want to engage. If that alienates me even more to the office, then so be it. Tired of trying to be conversationalist with people who either don't want to, or can't be bothered to do the same in return.
So yeah, what a surprise this hasn't changed. It doesn't help working with people immature, and over their heads, combined with willing and unnecessary support from people above than actual criticism or condemnation.
 

SoScared

Well-known member
I'm surrounded by liars and deceit. A couple of people come to mind and yes there was a suicide. I wish I had the skills to compartmentalize people and somehow always remember how nasty they are in the past and probably will be in the future whilst still doing the requisite conversation. I know, I talk to them and think your a **** and always will be a ****. Maybe you helped kill her and the other one may help kill me. He seems to be doing a job of it.
 

SilentAndShy

Well-known member
When something happens more than once, you start to think there's something intentional about it. I sit nearby from the main team, on person on the odd occasion, goes to the nearby shop for snacks and drinks. Very rarely does she pop her head through my door (and again, I'm not far away) to say: "do you want anything?"

It'd be a mindful and nice gesture simply to ask, yet either that's not in her personality (oddly she mentions she's going to the shop to other colleagues without explicitly asking) or she "forgets".

Man, I'm tired of being polite and helpful all the time. I'm going to do the bare minimum in my job - that's it. No going the extra yard for people who I doubt would the same for me.
 
Get your life together and stop living in the past. Why does it seem like you are willingly ignoring good decisions and choosing the worse ones? You've sort of been living like a loser lately, and it shows. Stop it.

Hmm, wait.

*Says all this out loud to myself in front of the mirror*

Huh, so I guess I can say it. I just can't listen to it. :rolleyes:
 
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w*n*c*a*m

Well-known member
I have a confession. I am a terrible person. I know one colleague who is suffering from CA. That person is a part of my HS clique but we are not really close. She’s struggling financially due to medical finances and I’ve always contributed for her funds. I also give her words of strength and encouragement about her illness. Basically, I am showing the support that she needs. We don’t have deep connection though so it is quite superficial. Like if we will be alone in one room, it will be awkward.
Having said that, my show of support are all genuine but what makes me terrible is that deep inside I don’t really like her. I don’t hate her but I find her a bit annoying even back then.
And now because of her CA, and people giving her more attention than before, she is becoming self absorbed online.

I don’t mind her tiktok dances or her frequent update about her condition but I get irked whenever she posts about inviting our group for food trips. I understand that food is her comfort. She is obese and she’s always been obsessed with food. And maybe it’s her goal to enjoy life to the fullest now that she doesnt have much time. But I still can’t help but see her as a greedy person conveniently taking advantage of her illness to free load on food.

This reminds me back in HS we were in a buffet party and I jokingly said ‘I’m so starving I’m gonna finish this tray’ and in a pissed tone she said to me ‘Yeah I can see you’ll gonna empty that tray’ (which is an exxageration because there’s so many food on the table and I’m only getting a moderate amount of second helping. Obviously by her tone she was not happy that there will be none left for her-considering she already had her own fill as well). I’m not holding any grudges. I am just saying that She Can Be That Greedy.

I feel guilty thinking this way to a sick person. To add more to my confession, I secretly blame her illness to her eating lifestyle so everytime she posts about foodtrips I’m like ‘WTF, your obsession with food is the cause of your effin demise and now you’re using your illness to pamper you with more effin food’

And now I notice other self absorb things she does like whenever she posts quotes about ‘unrequited love’ or very narcissistic ‘it’s your loss’ quote or ‘slut shaming even skinny shaming‘ stuff via tiktok. There’s one person who gave a ‘laugh’ react to her tiktok dance and she kind of ranted on her timeline obviously getting offended with it.

So there I said it. I am a terrible person and although I genuinely sympathise her, I feel I’m still a fake person. She always post on her FB how lucky she is for having her HS friends but tbh I can’t consider myself as her friend. I care enough in superficial terms but not as a real friend. You can crucify me now.
 

theoutsider

Well-known member
I have a confession. I am a terrible person. I know one colleague who is suffering from CA. That person is a part of my HS clique but we are not really close. She’s struggling financially due to medical finances and I’ve always contributed for her funds. I also give her words of strength and encouragement about her illness. Basically, I am showing the support that she needs. We don’t have deep connection though so it is quite superficial. Like if we will be alone in one room, it will be awkward.
Having said that, my show of support are all genuine but what makes me terrible is that deep inside I don’t really like her. I don’t hate her but I find her a bit annoying even back then.
And now because of her CA, and people giving her more attention than before, she is becoming self absorbed online.

I don’t mind her tiktok dances or her frequent update about her condition but I get irked whenever she posts about inviting our group for food trips. I understand that food is her comfort. She is obese and she’s always been obsessed with food. And maybe it’s her goal to enjoy life to the fullest now that she doesnt have much time. But I still can’t help but see her as a greedy person conveniently taking advantage of her illness to free load on food.

This reminds me back in HS we were in a buffet party and I jokingly said ‘I’m so starving I’m gonna finish this tray’ and in a pissed tone she said to me ‘Yeah I can see you’ll gonna empty that tray’ (which is an exxageration because there’s so many food on the table and I’m only getting a moderate amount of second helping. Obviously by her tone she was not happy that there will be none left for her-considering she already had her own fill as well). I’m not holding any grudges. I am just saying that She Can Be That Greedy.

I feel guilty thinking this way to a sick person. To add more to my confession, I secretly blame her illness to her eating lifestyle so everytime she posts about foodtrips I’m like ‘WTF, your obsession with food is the cause of your effin demise and now you’re using your illness to pamper you with more effin food’

And now I notice other self absorb things she does like whenever she posts quotes about ‘unrequited love’ or very narcissistic ‘it’s your loss’ quote or ‘slut shaming even skinny shaming‘ stuff via tiktok. There’s one person who gave a ‘laugh’ react to her tiktok dance and she kind of ranted on her timeline obviously getting offended with it.

So there I said it. I am a terrible person and although I genuinely sympathise her, I feel I’m still a fake person. She always post on her FB how lucky she is for having her HS friends but tbh I can’t consider myself as her friend. I care enough in superficial terms but not as a real friend. You can crucify me now.
You don't sound like a terrible person at all. It sounds like this woman has many faults yet you support her anyway. You try to encourage her and give her money. That says a lot about you as a good person. Seems like you realize people don't have to be perfect for you to be supportive. You don't even have to much like them for you to do the right thing. Don't beat yourself up for noticing her annoyances.
 

w*n*c*a*m

Well-known member
You don't sound like a terrible person at all. It sounds like this woman has many faults yet you support her anyway. You try to encourage her and give her money. That says a lot about you as a good person. Seems like you realize people don't have to be perfect for you to be supportive. You don't even have to much like them for you to do the right thing. Don't beat yourself up for noticing her annoyances.
Ahhh I dunno I still feel fake like she just posted and tagged us with an I love you quote and I could not even reply an I love you back like the others did. I just sent a 3 hearts emoticon so I’m not directly saying the words but I’m not ignoring her either. Anyway, thanks for the kind words.
 
I really admire someone at work.. I want to tell them I want to get to know them.. be intimate with them.. she's fairly quiet.. I have no idea what her life's like, if she's partnered or not but damn... I think about her every day.
 
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