open relationship/open marriage-thoughts?

[vickiekitties]

I only have open relationships and would never marry, to me marriage implies exclusivity. Not everyone feels threatened by other people appreciating their partner physically.

 

[Kiwong]

Well if you find something better, and the person you're in a relationship with is informed and doesn't mind, why shouldn't you go and get it?

I mean if you came across a pile of free money on the ground, you'd take it right? It is normal to want more and want better.

If you have something in your possession that isn't good enough in some way, you shouldn't restrict yourself from reaching for more.

I'd report the money missing, and hand it to the Police.

 

[Oncemore117]

I'd report the money missing, and hand it to the Police.

Not everyone is best buddies with Snape, this person here is probally Ravenclaw.

Point is, sometimes people are more in important then pleasure.

Lucky for me, when I realized that....she actually took me back.

 

[Flanscho]

Open relationships seems to me as wanting to have the best of both, if not multiple, worlds. But why?

Hmmm... :thinking: Because it's silly not to take the best of both if you can? :bigsmile:

 

[Raichel]

Hmmm... :thinking: Because it's silly not to take the best of both if you can? :bigsmile:

Mind answering my second question as well? It was kind of an inseparable follow-up to the previous one.

Open relationships seems to me as wanting to have the best of both, if not multiple, worlds. But why? Why can't they be satisfied and happy with just their current partner? You can't be in love with multiple people at once. You can however be in love AND lust after someone else. They need another sexual outlet so they form a second 'relationship'.

I think it's funny so far most of the people who replied positively are male. All these fancy terms for what is practically nothing more than an insatiable libido. If you want to have several people available to you that you could have sex with when or whenever you wanted that's fine, just don't call it 'relationships' because that actually involves having an emotional connection, being committed and acceptant.

 

[Flanscho]

Mind answering my second question as well? It was kind of an inseparable follow-up to the previous one.

Ah, sure, sorry, give me a moment.

Why can't they be satisfied and happy with just their current partner? You can't be in love with multiple people at once. You can however be in love AND lust after someone else. They need another sexual outlet so they form a second 'relationship'.

Prejudices, that's all I say. Prejudices and assumptions. Only because you never loved more than one person at a time, you think that you are able to judge for seven billion humans and tell them whom they can love? You dare to call those who say they love more than one as lier, and reduce their feelings to pure lust? Seriously?

I think it's funny so far most of the people who replied positively are male.

How many people did you interview? One? Two? You are just mixing sexism with prejudices. Most people I know, in person, who are pro open relationships, are female.

Seriously: stop applying your own views onto the rest of the world and not giving them the chance to have an opinion.

 

[Hellhound]

In today's society we are told to always aim for the best. Instead of appreciating what we've got, we're looking at the things we're missing. So when in a relationship, these people wonder: 'Hmm, well he/she is really nice and all that, but I'd love if this person was a bit more adventurous/spontaneous/promiscuous/intellectual/fill in-the-desired-character-or-body-traits-here'. Instead of accepting their partner the way they are, they want more. So they come up with the term 'open relationships'.

People like that are never satisfied, no matter how much they have, imo.

 

[MollyBeGood]

I never really understood the concept myself. When I am in love with someone and they are in love with me, I want them to be my one and only and vice-versa. I think possessiveness, a healthy amount of it, is very attractive in a partner. I want them to want me more than anyone, I want real connection and intimacy and passion that is not all based on lust which if you're just sleeping with whomever to satisfy your lust then imho your not in a real relationship. I dabbled with the concept with someone who I didn't love and that was why it was an easy sell for myself at the time to think about. Now that I am very much in love I wouldn't want anything to do with an open relationship. I am still toying with maybe have a three way some day which is exciting and scary but what the heck ya only live once and I think it's pretty hot. :blushing:

 

[Flanscho]

I never really understood the concept myself. When I am in love with someone and they are in love with me, I want them to be my one and only and vice-versa.

It saddens me that so many people on these forums think that because they never loved more than one person at once, that nobody else can. Not sure how to call that. Arrogance? Naivety?

 

[MollyBeGood]

It saddens me that so many people on these forums think that because they never loved more than one person at once, that nobody else can. Not sure how to call that. Arrogance? Naivety?

LOL :thumbdown:

It's called personal preference. Thanks bud. And I have loved more than one person at once and it was a nightmare.

 

[Opaline]

Personally I would not like it. I'm not naive enough to think it has nothing to do with how I was raised and the particular religion that dominates my country, but regardless, it's not something I'd be comfortable with.

As far as other people doing it? Why the hell should I care? There are Amazonian tribes where the men have multiple wives and they all live in the same hut and help each other with the domestic chores, etc. They're still here after all this time, so it seems to be working for them. Many cultures in the past and present feature polygamy as something that is normal for them.

I will add, though, that it seems to be primarily a male desire... I can't think of a culture where a central woman has multiple husbands/lovers all at once as something normal and accepted on a widespread scale. If I'm wrong, sorry, but I really can't think of any, not even the Greeks. Interesting...

Also, you said "open", and I just talked about polygamy, and I know the two are related but different. I don't know of cultures where the people in the relationship come and go and have other lovers if they choose and then move on to someone else while still in the relationship with the original person, but I have the same thoughts toward that. Whatever makes you happy I guess. I do think it might have an impact on the state of society as a whole if many people started doing it as a regular practice, but that's another discussion entirely and I really haven't given a lot of thought to it.

 

[dottie]

gross. yeah, i'm judging you. happy STDs, losers.

 

[MikeyC]

Friends of mine are reportedly in an open relationship. I've never seen them go ahead with anything, but the girl is quite touchy-feely with me - nothing sexual, really, but she does hug and touch my arm and stuff like that, and the guy is very much okay with all of it. It's interesting.

 

[LeDiskoLove99]

I think to each their own, could I do it? Absolutely NOT! I don't see how there can't be jealousy, I don't care how good of a couple you are it's gotta cause a lot of unneeded drama. That doesn't mean just because I'm personally against it for my life that I look down on others in open relationships. It just all seems a little odd and creepy to me. But hey if it works out well for their relationship more power to them, I wouldn't last a week trying it. And if anyone suggested it most likely we would not be together too long after that.

 

[Flanscho]

gross. yeah, i'm judging you. happy STDs, losers.

And something like you is an elite user? Sounds more like an elite harasser to me.

 

[Flanscho]

LOL :thumbdown:

It's called personal preference. Thanks bud. And I have loved more than one person at once and it was a nightmare.

It's called "personal preference" when you, based on your relationships, decide for the world population whom they can love? Seriously?

 

[dottie]

And something like you is an elite user? Sounds more like an elite harasser to me.

pretty sure the thread asked for thoughts on the subject matter. you seem to have a problem whenever anyone opposes it. my opinion still stands: grody.

 

[Raichel]

Flanscho, I understand you feel strongly about this subject because you know people from firsthand who are in an open relationship and it seems to work for them. (IIRC they're close friends of yours?) So it's natural you're taking a defensive stance here.

I'd just like to point out that OP specifically asked for personal opinions on the matter. Since it's quite the controversial topic, opinions will vary greatly. I'm not trying to push my views on others, it's just that I too feel very strongly about this subject and if asked to share my views I will do so without holding back.

 

[Kiwong]

Not everyone is best buddies with Snape, this person here is probally Ravenclaw.

Point is, sometimes people are more in important then pleasure.

Lucky for me, when I realized that....she actually took me back.

ahh Harry Potter, now I get it.

 

[Kiwong]

It's called "personal preference" when you, based on your relationships, decide for the world population whom they can love? Seriously?

How did you read that into the post? I saw a post clearly stating a preference for the relationships they are comfortable with, not deciding what anyone else should do, or judging who or how many they can love.