Note: as I mention below, I don't mean to offend anyone or cause anyone to become depressed by posting this. It's just something I want to share and read other people's opinions about.
Yep, I just did. I'm posting a depressing, scary topic.
So. Today I am very tired and very sore. Not long after I finished 16ozs of coffee a realization hit me hard: I am going to die. Let me explain.
90% of the time I am disconnected from reality to some extent. Life doesn't feel real, it feels like a dream. And apparently I don't feel non-existence as a real thing. It doesn't feel like it will ever happen. All I know (and all anyone knows, I think) is existence. Living. Consciousness. I mean sure, you go to sleep at night and know what it's like to not be conscious to some degree. But...you always wake up. It's only temporary. And when you awake you are the same as you were before you went to sleep. You have the same consciousness.
For me, sleep doesn't change how I feel about the unconsciousness of death. The permanence of it. It doesn't feel the same as sleep.
When I was a kid I used to worry a lot about dieing and going to hell. I would have that fear, the kind that you can feel in your entire body. The kind that takes everything else out of your mind and paralyzes you. Today I felt that. Twice.
I handled it better than I ever have before. It didn't ruin my day, although it did stick around to some degree. It didn't reduce me to a quivering, crying ball of fear. And that's because my thoughts and beliefs about death and life have changed, and my experience of being crippled by fear, and knowing that it does me no good at all, has shown me that it's useless to allow fear to control me.
I don't know what anyone here believes as far as religion/death/afterlife/etc. I don't mean to offend anyone. Currently I am leaning towards there being nothing after death: your consciousness ends, nothing else happens. But I just can't imagine/comprehend that. All I know is existing. It just feels like now that I have consciousness I can't lose it--I will always have it no matter what, in some form, even though I don't believe that. It's a feeling.
Being who I am. Having lived the life that I have so far of not having many or any friends, of having never gone to public school, of living so isolated from the world and experiencing so little, having so little fun with other people. Having social anxiety and lots of insecurities and worrying about how everything I say or do will affect other people, I feel that knowing that I will die one day--and not knowing for sure beyond any doubt with undeniable proof that there is more after death, that I will still live in some form, in some plane of existence and know that I am alive--the only way to live is to live life to the fullest. To travel. To experience things. To meet and connect with people. To be kind, loving, and make whatever little corner of the world I happen to be in at the time a better place for other people. I don't have any proof that one god or the other exists and that, that god's heaven exists, so I see no point in dedicating my time to trying to secure a place in a possible heaven.
If I am being honest, I have no idea what happens after death. I have no idea how I exist beyond knowing how I was born, etc. I have no idea what is out there in the universe beyond what has been discovered by scientists. I have no idea whether any religion/mythology/whatever the correct terms are, are correct or not. I just know that every living thing dies. It's physical form stops working. And I don't think any ideas about life after death have been proven beyond any doubt.
I have heard that chemicals are released when you die that can cause hallucinations/strong feelings/etc. I've read about near death experiences. About people experiencing things similar to an afterlife, sometimes supposedly exactly what is described in religions, when they almost died. Sometimes they are very positive and pleasant, sometimes they are very negative and horrifying. This is both comforting and worrying.
For one thing, this seems to indicate that, whether or not there is actually any kind of life after death, you could still experience something like that. Even if it's not real, in your last seconds of life, you could still believe and feel like you went to heaven and had a wonderful time. Then you die. You're gone.
But, it sounds like it's also possible that you could believe and feel like you went to some sort of hell and experience horrible pain. Then you die.
I'm going to assume that, if no afterlife exists, then what causes people to experience different near death experiences is their beliefs about afterlife(s)/religion(s)/etc and their beliefs and feelings about themselves. If this idea of mine is true, then that means what you believe about life, death, the world around you, and, most importantly, yourself, is incredibly important.
Yep, I just did. I'm posting a depressing, scary topic.
So. Today I am very tired and very sore. Not long after I finished 16ozs of coffee a realization hit me hard: I am going to die. Let me explain.
90% of the time I am disconnected from reality to some extent. Life doesn't feel real, it feels like a dream. And apparently I don't feel non-existence as a real thing. It doesn't feel like it will ever happen. All I know (and all anyone knows, I think) is existence. Living. Consciousness. I mean sure, you go to sleep at night and know what it's like to not be conscious to some degree. But...you always wake up. It's only temporary. And when you awake you are the same as you were before you went to sleep. You have the same consciousness.
For me, sleep doesn't change how I feel about the unconsciousness of death. The permanence of it. It doesn't feel the same as sleep.
When I was a kid I used to worry a lot about dieing and going to hell. I would have that fear, the kind that you can feel in your entire body. The kind that takes everything else out of your mind and paralyzes you. Today I felt that. Twice.
I handled it better than I ever have before. It didn't ruin my day, although it did stick around to some degree. It didn't reduce me to a quivering, crying ball of fear. And that's because my thoughts and beliefs about death and life have changed, and my experience of being crippled by fear, and knowing that it does me no good at all, has shown me that it's useless to allow fear to control me.
I don't know what anyone here believes as far as religion/death/afterlife/etc. I don't mean to offend anyone. Currently I am leaning towards there being nothing after death: your consciousness ends, nothing else happens. But I just can't imagine/comprehend that. All I know is existing. It just feels like now that I have consciousness I can't lose it--I will always have it no matter what, in some form, even though I don't believe that. It's a feeling.
Being who I am. Having lived the life that I have so far of not having many or any friends, of having never gone to public school, of living so isolated from the world and experiencing so little, having so little fun with other people. Having social anxiety and lots of insecurities and worrying about how everything I say or do will affect other people, I feel that knowing that I will die one day--and not knowing for sure beyond any doubt with undeniable proof that there is more after death, that I will still live in some form, in some plane of existence and know that I am alive--the only way to live is to live life to the fullest. To travel. To experience things. To meet and connect with people. To be kind, loving, and make whatever little corner of the world I happen to be in at the time a better place for other people. I don't have any proof that one god or the other exists and that, that god's heaven exists, so I see no point in dedicating my time to trying to secure a place in a possible heaven.
If I am being honest, I have no idea what happens after death. I have no idea how I exist beyond knowing how I was born, etc. I have no idea what is out there in the universe beyond what has been discovered by scientists. I have no idea whether any religion/mythology/whatever the correct terms are, are correct or not. I just know that every living thing dies. It's physical form stops working. And I don't think any ideas about life after death have been proven beyond any doubt.
I have heard that chemicals are released when you die that can cause hallucinations/strong feelings/etc. I've read about near death experiences. About people experiencing things similar to an afterlife, sometimes supposedly exactly what is described in religions, when they almost died. Sometimes they are very positive and pleasant, sometimes they are very negative and horrifying. This is both comforting and worrying.
For one thing, this seems to indicate that, whether or not there is actually any kind of life after death, you could still experience something like that. Even if it's not real, in your last seconds of life, you could still believe and feel like you went to heaven and had a wonderful time. Then you die. You're gone.
But, it sounds like it's also possible that you could believe and feel like you went to some sort of hell and experience horrible pain. Then you die.
I'm going to assume that, if no afterlife exists, then what causes people to experience different near death experiences is their beliefs about afterlife(s)/religion(s)/etc and their beliefs and feelings about themselves. If this idea of mine is true, then that means what you believe about life, death, the world around you, and, most importantly, yourself, is incredibly important.
