Life is what you make of it - agree or disagree

[KiaKaha]

OK, I realize a question like that will not have a black and white answer to it.... but what do you think? Do you think a persons position in life is a direct result of their own actions, or do you think that there are factors beyond anyones control that can shape how a persons life is...

Most likely its a bit of both. Naturally nothing will come of your life if you dont do anything with it... nor if you refuse to play by the rules.

Does anyone think that factors like, charisma, appearance, prejudice, discrimination, social class, cultural background, personal aptitude, talent and luck shape and determine (to a certain degree) just how fair things will be for someones life...?

I have seen first hand just how incredibly quickly people can fall given the right circumstances and series of events... through no fault of their own. It really is quite remarkable.

Opinions?

 

[Graeme1988]

I'd probably say it's a bit of both - I'm not entirely sure on that, though.

But, then again, my physical disability has had a huge impact in terms of how I live my life, which was factor very much beyond my control. And have had to deal with quite a bit of discrimination and prejudice growing up.

So, I can't really give a definite answer as to whether I agree or disagree.

 

[therealdeal]

Yes. I definitely believe that all the factors you mentioned contributes to maybe 90% or so of the outcome of your life. In my opinion, almost everything in life depends on other people's perception of you which will, as a result, lead to an action. Most of the time it doesn't matter if you are or aren't what they perceive you as because they will treat you the way they think you should be treated based on their experiences and perception. There are also things such as the media, which leads people to believe something and contributes to solidifying someone's perception. I think there are always exceptions though, such as people with very open minds or people not exposed to certain things so they never thought about it/came to a conclusion about something. I feel like you have control to change/improve your life to a very small degree in terms of social interactions or anything that has to do with other people. Just thinking about it right now makes me kind of mad because I wish things were more fair. I feel like I was never able to blend in anywhere because of the factors you mentioned, specifically culture, social class, appearance, discrimination etc.

OK, I realize a question like that will not have a black and white answer to it.... but what do you think? Do you think a persons position in life is a direct result of their own actions, or do you think that there are factors beyond anyones control that can shape how a persons life is...

Most likely its a bit of both. Naturally nothing will come of your life if you dont do anything with it... nor if you refuse to play by the rules.

Does anyone think that factors like, charisma, appearance, prejudice, discrimination, social class, cultural background, personal aptitude, talent and luck shape and determine (to a certain degree) just how fair things will be for someones life...?

I have seen first hand just how incredibly quickly people can fall given the right circumstances and series of events... through no fault of their own. It really is quite remarkable.

Opinions?

 

[MikeyC]

Does anyone think that factors like, charisma, appearance, prejudice, discrimination, social class, cultural background, personal aptitude, talent and luck shape and determine (to a certain degree) just how fair things will be for someones life...?

Yes, absolutely. My friend had a very easy and loving upbringing and he's reaping the rewards now. At the age of 29 I have never seen him more confident, fitter, or happier. He knows what he wants and goes for it. However, he has had to put in some work of his own, but his mindset and personality has made it happen to a certain extent.

I honestly wish I was like him but I can't do it.

 

[Hoppy]

"Life is what happens while you are busy making other plans."

 

[IntrovertedIndividual]

I too think it's ultimately the combination of both personal actions and external circumstances which determines the quality of one's life.

Even though one could legitimately argue that personality traits,body shape and cognitive abilities are profoundly influenced by factors we have little to no control upon such as genetics or early upbringing,inner will and strenght are still determinant in that they give you an opportunity to make it through life with what you've got and better still to try and overcome your boundaries.Easier said than done however...::

 

[Rembrandt Broam]

OK, I realize a question like that will not have a black and white answer to it.... but what do you think? Do you think a persons position in life is a direct result of their own actions, or do you think that there are factors beyond anyones control that can shape how a persons life is...

I think there are many factors that are outside your control. You can't control the situation you're born into, and you can't control the luck you happen to have in life. However, it is within your power to make the best of the hand life deals you.

 

[WeirdyMcGee]

haha

Oh, yes. If you wish to live your life in a fairytail, completely in denial of reality, then you could make your life sunshine and rainbows every day!
I knew someone in highschool who would constantly say: "life is what you make of it!" was always happy and confident, lived an extravagant lifestyle and never seemed to be stressed about anything.

Those were her circumstances and they were quite different from my own, but to an extend, I believe the saying as well.
Although I had to work 2-3 jobs in highschool, was agoraphobic and bullied constantly... I still did my best to see the good in people, to see the beauty in my surroundings and to find happiness in whatever small pocket I could find it in.
But even with that happiness as a teenager, I'm still deeply in debt, sick and will never live extravagantly; but is that what's important?
If you believe it's important and you don't have it- you will not be happy.
If you value other things that are immaterial and do have those things from time to time, you at least have a chance for happiness.
I think that's what the saying means, really. Value the things that you have.

A healthy mix of reality is probably for the best and there will always be factors outside of one's control; as other posters have said.


...what was I saying?
Anyway--- on with the thread. XD

 

[coyote]

if life gives you lemons, make lemonade

if life gives you limes, make margaritas

 

[nafadda]

I say it depends on lots of factors and depends on the person.

some people are born in to money and are good looking and still very unhappy while some people may be born into a poorer family and have a great loving life .I have seen both sides.

....one of my friends had his entire family (mother,father and sister) all commit suicide within the same year..WOW..now how do you get through that..well..he did .and he turned out to be a really level headed ,really nice guy that loves life and enjoys it...he owns a little country store down the road,it still even gives credit if you can believe that.i mean you can just walk in and if you don't have the money he just writes it down and you pay him later..you don't see that much anymore...he loves fishing and is an archer when he hunts(I am anti hunting but we are great friends)..yes a very messed up life he had ,but he made the best of it.,,so just goes to show.

i have an obese friend who is not all that good looking,but he is a hard worker and his personality shines and he is so funny,women love him.why??? because of his attitude.

20 years ago a man i knew killed himself after he sold his buisness for 4.4 million dollars.3 months later he shot himself in the head in a motel room....guess money didn't make him happy/

so i guess IMO life is a crap shoot,ya' just never know.it's kind of what you make of it and how you may or may not choose to live it.

 

[Barry1979]

That term is much easier said than done if you are not of sound mind in terms of mental disorders. So in a sense you could say that I disagree.

 

[Aletheia]

Do you think a persons position in life is a direct result of their own actions, or do you think that there are factors beyond anyones control that can shape how a persons life is...

Both.

No one chooses to suffer motor neuron disease, or have their spouse walk out on them, or even be born with AvPD. No one chooses to have their life limited by restricted access to education, or discriminatory hiring practices, or not knowing the right people.

But we do get to choose how we respond to those realities. We do get to live within them.

 

[MrJones]

Try to keep it simple.

Enjoy those little things you have in your everyday life.

We have only one life and it's very short, so try not to worry too much about what you want to have and focus on what you actually have.

I know I'va made that mistake again and I still do it and I will in the future. But if you want to be happy the best would be to cherish the good things you have and keep those in your mind.

 

[gazelle]

Both.
But we do get to choose how we respond to those realities. We do get to live within them.

^Agreed.

Does anyone think that factors like, charisma, appearance, prejudice, discrimination, social class, cultural background, personal aptitude, talent and luck shape and determine (to a certain degree) just how fair things will be for someones life...?

While genetics and environmental factors certainly do play a important role in shaping our life, I think the power of determination should never be underestimated.There are many poeple in the world who can be good examples of rising out of adversity because of having a strong will and determination.

 

[OceanMist]

It all depends on what a person is dealt in the cards of life.

If you have something such as genetic depression, there may be some stuff you can do to minimize or even cure that depression eventually, but if you have that genetic problem you are bound to have bouts of depression that can't be controlled. That's just an example.

Certain people have stuff that they can't control. I think the quote, life is what you make of it, is unfair to people that have serious issues with their life that they born into.

I'm not going to tell a soldier that got his leg blown off in war that life is what you make of it.

You see, the quote just seems condescending and unfair to me when it's directed at certain people. Maybe it would work for someone who doesn't have issues and has good genetics?

 

[sullyS25]

"Life is what happens while you are busy making other plans."

I love this quote! Thank you for sharing it!

 

[KiaKaha]

If you believe it's important and you don't have it- you will not be happy.
If you value other things that are immaterial and do have those things from time to time, you at least have a chance for happiness.

Just a personal thought, but I have come to realize that a lot of my unhappiness (I think...along with other factors) is based on this. I place far too much importance on things that I dont have...on things that I will never have.... I try to do a reality check and remind myself that I should be happy compared to what others dont have. I feel ungrateful sometimes. I am just thinking aloud here... you know...rambling.

Both.
No one chooses to have their life limited by restricted access to education, or discriminatory hiring practices, or not knowing the right people.

But we do get to choose how we respond to those realities. We do get to live within them.

Its these kinds of examples that bother me the most. I see this as unfair. I think there is an illustrative quality to laws and rules about human nature. Why do we have to be 'told' what is right. When we sign a contract for an employer its always interesting to read regulations about sexual harrasment, treating collegues with respect and putting your dishes in the dishwasher... I wonder... just how far people would go *if* they could get away with it.

At the risk of soapboxing, I know this topic is closely related to having a victim mentality. I do believe people need to be determined and to create opportunities for themselves using what they have been given, but I also believe that despite that, some people are always going to be left behind because of factors that are beyond thier control or in the hands of others. No doubt some will disagree.

Everyone has made some fine points, I appreciate the responses.

 

[coyote]

...I see this as unfair...

perhaps this is at the root of your own dissatisfaction

i seem to remember you stating you were an atheist?

so perhaps you would agree that there is no intelligent design behind the universe

no god-mind writing a master plan for life to follow?

if there is no plan

no rulebook

then there is no "fair"

and no "unfair"

life just is what it is

any labels we choose to give it are entirely of our own creation

 

[twiggle]

I love this saying but find it can only work in situations which aren't too severe and can be open to interpretation... which, of course, are not all situations and circumstances.

 

[Griffin]

I think it depends on both with the emphasis of one over the other varying depending on each individual. The same factors and circumstances may have different effects on different people.

There's a lot in life that depends on what other people think of you. Having said that, there's a lot that you can do in life that can affect what others think of you.

I don't think it's a question that can be satisfyingly resolved with a single response.