Is it harder being a male who is shy than it is for a female

[KiaKaha]

Just wondering what you all think about this. It seems to me that people are a little more tolerant perhaps if a female is shy, It may even come across as cute... but if you are a guy who is shy then people often view you as weak. Men are "supposed" to be strong, in control and dominant (or are they?). I personally feel that men who are shy are judged a lot harsher than women...

That is not to say that the degree of suffering that Social anxiety/shyness has on the individual is any less severe regardless of gender..

anyway thats what I feel...

Opinions?

 

[Uber Schnitzel]

I sort of agree with what you're saying. I think it's just an added thing to beat yourself up over if your a guy. Girls will have it just as bad but in different ways. Pressures of society of what someone is "supposed" to be have always p****d me off

 

[Remus]

thread opened back up again

 

[mrb]

i think girls have it worse than blokes , i mean were ever you go there are posters or mags or papers full up with girls that are half naked with perfect bodies ...... i mean if i was a girl id probably find that quite annoying , us blokes dont have to put up with that crap 24/7 do we ......

 

[Felgen]

Depends on which cultures we're talking about. In Norway, a shy girl won't have any problems finding a boyfriend, but she'll have just as big problems making friends as a guy with anxiety has.

 

[mrb]

"Putting up with" isn't exactly what I would call it. lol Do images of half naked women with perfect bodies inconvenience you or any other heterosexual man in any way? ::

im not talking about me annie , sure i dont mind all that stuff , in fact gimmie gimmie gimmie loads of that stuff joking apart i just ment it cant be nice for girls seeing all that stuff 24/7 ....... you know what i dont know what i ment errr i think ill just shut up lolz

 

[AGR]

Depends where the person lives,the situation and etc.

 

[Why]

id say so...

shy women still get approached and its cute
for example when u hear "awww shes so shy"

shy men never get approached
being shy is only "cute" when ur like 8 yrs old, after that ur supposed to be the hunter and seek out whatever you want

 

[Pookah]

Social anxiety goes well beyond shyness. Maybe someone will try to talk to me despite it but I shut down and can't properly interact like a simply "shy" person might be able to. So eventually people think I am weird and don't bother as much.

 

[userremoved]

Well what about the shy girls that don't get approached by many men? What are they going to do?

 

[NathanielWingatePeaslee]

I personally feel that men who are shy are judged a lot harsher than women...

You know who judges women really harshly? Other women. I just don't see men judging other men (or women) as often or as harshly as women judge each other.

Social anxiety goes well beyond shyness. Maybe someone will try to talk to me despite it but I shut down and can't properly interact like a simply "shy" person might be able to. So eventually people think I am weird and don't bother as much.

Yah, you're pretty weird alright. ::

 

[diesel]

i think its worse for men because its uauslly up to a man to make the first move , sometimes the second and third too . men have to work for women so even a shy girl will get a fella trying for her attention but a shy guy will probably never get anything .

* just on the whole thing of magazines and stuff , men are affected by the idea of perfect too . lately i have decided that what is important is achieving personal perfection and that the idea of a perfect stereotype is ludacris because everyone is different and every life too .

 

[BlueDays]

..................

 

[Pookah]

You know who judges women really harshly? Other women. I just don't see men judging other men (or women) as often or as harshly as women judge each other.

Yah, you're pretty weird alright. ::

Haha thanks?

 

[Hellhound]

Being a female is not that easy either. Society has insane expectations for both genders.

 

[Avery]

The short answer is simply yes -- confidence/dominance is a larger slice of a man's social capital pie than a woman's, and so he suffers more if lacking in that department, just as women suffer (or benefit) more from physical attractiveness. Of course, negative features are still bad for either sex (what girl wants to be socially awkward? what guy wants to be ugly?), but the differences in importance are there, and largely ingrained.

Severity plays a big role, though. A shy guy might have it rougher than a shy girl, but not as bad as an extremely shy girl.

 

[sphericalmind]

I might be a bit biased, being a guy, but speaking from personal experience as well, shy guys might tend to find it harder to get dates than shy girls because of the reasons mentioned, being that the guy usually makes the first move for instance.

Also, it may be easier for shy guys to be called "weird" or "creepy" by other people though shy girls can get them as well.

 

[BlackPuma]

I kind of doubt that it is harder for males then it is for females. Both genders are pretty judgmental amongst themselves. Limits, strengths and rationalization are all very individual, even within the same sex. If anything, it has more to do with culture, location, time of day, financial stability and mood.

I'm not female, so I can't really judge for them as far as attraction goes, but I personally think both shy guys, and girls, are really attractive. Even preferred actually. :3

 

[Waybuloo]

im not talking about me annie , sure i dont mind all that stuff , in fact gimmie gimmie gimmie loads of that stuff joking apart i just ment it cant be nice for girls seeing all that stuff 24/7 ....... you know what i dont know what i ment errr i think ill just shut up lolz

I feel annoyed that the magazines are dictating what men should like and what women should aspire to be. I don't in a million years want to look like the women though, because A) I like my own body, and B) I'd hate to be a pin up 'perfect' who attracts one sort of attention everywhere she goes, that can't be good for social anxiety surely ;p. Also is it any coincidence that alot of models and good looking people have insecurities, mayhaps arising out of a constant pressure to look up to par once they are categorised as good looking and their worth to a large extent is dependant on that?

 

[Waybuloo]

Depends on the context. Personally though, I would not want a shy guy for a partner, but I don't mind a shy guy as a friend, I don't discount any type of person as a friend except loud and brash ones, obnoxious, and arrogant ones.

But I agree with Black Puma in that both genders can be judgmental. I have been snubbed by both women and men when socialising, because I was not approachable, which was understandable. It takes a warm, big hearted and nonjudgmental person to approach someone who is shy. And sometimes people in general don't want to talk to you because they don't want to be seen cavorting with 'the quiet one'.