Is it harder being a male who is shy than it is for a female

[johannes]

The short answer is simply yes -- confidence/dominance is a larger slice of a man's social capital pie than a woman's, and so he suffers more if lacking in that department, just as women suffer (or benefit) more from physical attractiveness. Of course, negative features are still bad for either sex (what girl wants to be socially awkward? what guy wants to be ugly?), but the differences in importance are there, and largely ingrained.

Severity plays a big role, though. A shy guy might have it rougher than a shy girl, but not as bad as an extremely shy girl.

This rounds up what i was thinking, adding the word "typically" after "yes" just to not flatten the curve.

 

[Mickery]

because I was quite introverted, she knew she could always trust me no matter what.

I don't understand this.

 

[Waybuloo]

I don't understand this.

I think he meant (though could be wrong) that his gf thinks because he's not an extrovert, he's less likely to blab about her problems or personal issues to other people. I think people get the impression that introverts are more trustworthy and reliable, because they can come across that way. I think they can also think that a shy person or socially anxious person are introverts when in fact nervousness/anxiety doesn't have to do with introversion.

 

[Waybuloo]

I think I'm with Waybuloo on this one. I think a lot of girls with problems like social anxiety (or even just shyness) really don't know how to send the right signals, and that that is a major part of the problem. I also think a lot of girls (and guys for that matter) aren't sure how to look approachable.

I'm not sure why you brought up being too picky, but I may have missed something. I'm still just waking up this morning.

I'll not deny that a girl with social problems can find and/or keep a partner, but that's a general thing. Specifics are always good.

I think he means that being less picky will allow you to be more approachable in any interaction as well as cast a wider net.

 

[Felgen]

Yeah but you're rid of most of your anxiety like you said and pretty darn good looking. Im not surprised a girl latched onto you fast. So I would say you're the exception to the norm here.

Thanks, I guess. While I have recovered from most of my anxiety, I'm going to have to take my Asperger's syndrome with me to my grave; it will never go away.

Most girls are actually quite tolerant of a guy's mistakes if he's tolerant of her mistakes. "True perfection has to be imperfect".

 

[Felgen]

I think he means that being less picky will allow you to be more approachable in any interaction as well as cast a wider net.

I'm not saying that you shouldn't have standards. If you have some standards, then that special someone will feel appreciated when you meet him.

That being said, you shouldn't shun a guy because he's a virgin after graduating from high school or because his parents can't afford to buy him a nice apartment.