I want a date !
- Thread starter Clown
- Start date
OceanMist
Well-known member
For those of you haven't had a date, you probably feel the same as someone like me. I had dates with the same woman about 6 years ago, and that was the only woman I've dated. It's been so long since I've connected with a woman that I feel like I've never even connected with a woman, so I think we're in the same boat anyway.
If you've been deprived of a g/f for long enough, your past g/f or g/fs become the past and you feel like you don't have anyone, just like the guy who hasn't had anyone in the first place.
If you've been deprived of a g/f for long enough, your past g/f or g/fs become the past and you feel like you don't have anyone, just like the guy who hasn't had anyone in the first place.
pavnaxtion
Member
Well said. I get a good amount of initial reactions in the area, but it requires so much persistence that I just don't have anymore. I think trying to get "dates" is what's holding us back. We should be focusing on breaking our shyness, and learning about ourselves as corny as that sounds. However, the prospect of approaching a girl who doesn't want to be approached is easy in theory--very difficult, at least for me, in practice.
Kiwong
Well-known member
OceanMist
Well-known member
I'm sorry, but I don't follow.....learning about ourselves? We all know ourselves because we are ourselves. I don't see how not knowing yourself is even possible?
I just don't think the whole "finding yourself" thing works, or the "learn to be happy by yourself" works, either. We know who we are, and people such as myself have been living by myself for years.
I know how to be by myself, and have lived accordingly for years. Now, I want some company from the opposite sex. I've done the whole friendship thing with people, and now I want love from a woman. It's a part of life that I haven't gotten a chance to live with. I'm done with "friend zone" stuff.
That's the problem. As a general statement, we really don't. The ancient Greeks realized the importance of the imperative Know thyself (handed down to them from sources lost in antiquity) it hasn't lost any importance in the thousands of years since.
We are all filled with illusions and misconceptions about ourselves that we don't even realize. We tell ourselves lies instead of facing our faults. We overlook or deny positive qualities out of insecurity or from low self esteem. We have tastes, talents, and inclinations we've never even explored.
Really knowing yourself is tricky and takes effort, and is a never ending process. If you think you're already there, you probably haven't even started it. I'm 40 years old and still learning things about myself.
WeirdyMcGee
Well-known member
I've been told by my therapists that I am extremely self aware-- and yet, I know nothing about 'who I am'
Have no dreams or aspirations, hate how I look, how I sound, don't want anything.
So, it's very possible to not know who you are.
If you've been living for the soul purpose of doing what you think someone else wants you to do-- that is when you need to step back and 'find yourself' because you are obviously not paying attention to what you actually want.
And I believe from my own personal experience that I'd have been better off liking myself rather than being in a relationship with someone who loved me enough for both of us-- because people go away, and when they do- so does that feeling of liking yourself; and you're left with a hole that you can fill by yourself by enriching your own life--- or by filling it with more 'love', hoping to replace that feeling.
Either way is tough. The second way- probably more self abusive.
Have no dreams or aspirations, hate how I look, how I sound, don't want anything.
So, it's very possible to not know who you are.
If you've been living for the soul purpose of doing what you think someone else wants you to do-- that is when you need to step back and 'find yourself' because you are obviously not paying attention to what you actually want.
And I believe from my own personal experience that I'd have been better off liking myself rather than being in a relationship with someone who loved me enough for both of us-- because people go away, and when they do- so does that feeling of liking yourself; and you're left with a hole that you can fill by yourself by enriching your own life--- or by filling it with more 'love', hoping to replace that feeling.
Either way is tough. The second way- probably more self abusive.
OceanMist
Well-known member
Well, I guess I'm different than a lot of people, because I know myself very well.
My problem is I'm so shy that I'm afraid to get to know other people.
Lord_Spotface
Active member
I go out, hang out at bars with a beer in my hand, and often an attractive lass shall waltz in.
We'll make eye contact, smile at each other and she'll motion for me to come over to join her.
Then instead of going up and introducing myself I'm just like:
"F*ck that, I'd rather just keep drinking"
We'll make eye contact, smile at each other and she'll motion for me to come over to join her.
Then instead of going up and introducing myself I'm just like:
"F*ck that, I'd rather just keep drinking"
anxiety1408
Well-known member
I need a date 2!! I want a gf 
Aletheia
Well-known member
I wish I never saw the sunshine
I wish I never saw the sunshine
And if I never saw the sunshine baby then maybe...
I wouldn't mind the rain
brown dwarf
Banned
Im 24 never had a girlfriend. and now its gona be harder then ever, I just get akward some days when i get appraoched by attractive women. I have no experience with women. So they are just gona freak out at me ,pretty scary stuff. I just cant man up I even avoid eye contact because im ashamed of myself.Im currently working as a butcher in a supermarket. And there is allways alot people approaching me.