Jesushasomeoneforme
Well-known member
Jesushasomeoneforme and you too bro
I have never had a girlfriend in my life
- Thread starter rko74
- Start date
EgoZero
Well-known member
Wrong. It's possible and I'm a living proof of that.
shore_of_glass
Well-known member
Ego, I notice that you are VERY negative in all your posts, maybe you have reasons to be like that, but try to be a little more positive, negativity can reflect in your everyday life.
I've never had a gf too. And my lack of skill in that area makes me **** scared that when I find someone I just blow it.
I believe you need to have a gf first to be able to say that on your own.
So, no, I don't believe that.
I've never had a gf too. And my lack of skill in that area makes me **** scared that when I find someone I just blow it.
I believe you need to have a gf first to be able to say that on your own.
So, no, I don't believe that.
Jin
Well-known member
agreed... dont try to depend your happiness in having a girlfriend....especially having or getting the wrong ones....
Josh5339
Well-known member
My problem: the girl comes and I always f-ing blow it. The funniest part is that on some nights I almost breakdown thinking that I'm all alone, then my memory comes back to rip me a new one showing me all the girls that have paid attention and I've let walk away.
Basically my problem is, even when the girl is there and seems to like me I either hide away behind a book or headphones sooner or later. I've gotta try to fix that. Gonna try to pick things back up with the girl that seemed like she like me this summer (even worse: she was beyond the ideal girl - and she reached out to me and I let it slip away), hoping I might still have a chance. That S.A.D. didn't completely destroy one of the few good things that have appeared in my life... (I mean, I even 'hid away' for a while and when I came back, she was still there - my self destruction didn't entirely self destruct, so there's gotta be some kind of chance)
Basically my problem is, even when the girl is there and seems to like me I either hide away behind a book or headphones sooner or later. I've gotta try to fix that. Gonna try to pick things back up with the girl that seemed like she like me this summer (even worse: she was beyond the ideal girl - and she reached out to me and I let it slip away), hoping I might still have a chance. That S.A.D. didn't completely destroy one of the few good things that have appeared in my life... (I mean, I even 'hid away' for a while and when I came back, she was still there - my self destruction didn't entirely self destruct, so there's gotta be some kind of chance)
Jin
Well-known member
iam almost going crazy everytime it happens to me.....
Last edited:
DownInAHole
Well-known member
I was just thinking about this tonight.. regretting not taking a chance with girls that show interest in me. I could have easily had a gf the last few years. It's like a domino effect for me, I meet a girl, am embarrassed of my lack of relationship inexperience, so I stop pursuing her or make up excuses why I shouldn't... However if I would have just gone out with one of these previous girls, I wouldn't be in the same situation today.
recluse
Well-known member
iamthenra
Well-known member
19 years old male
0 friends
0 girlfriends
0 dates
0 interest
virgin
0 friends that are girls
never even touched a female! :: bummer
Could always be worse.... You could be 41 like me.... with all the same issues.
Aphrodyte
Member
This.
You can think "Oh I don't need a girlfriend to be happy, I have (A) or (B) to make me happy," all day long, but every time you walk by a couple holding hands or the like, you'll constantly be reminded that not only don't you have it right now, you've never had it before. IMO, it takes a great deal of mental effort to not only not let it bother you, but it accept that fact and instead of worrying about it, let things play out.
DanFC
Well-known member
This is exactly how I feel about the issue. And to add in another thing for me, I feel like I'll never have a relationship, so it's like complete despair (even though a part of me does hope). I guess it's a combination of SA/SP and a certain loathing of myself.
CPA23
Well-known member
Same boat as everyone here. I'm 25 and never had a girlfriend. I've been told I'm a nice looking guy, but it goes beyond that. I just have never really felt confident in myself through my teen years. This is continued through my mid-twenties. I don't know where the lack of confidence comes from, but it just isn't there. I have always been shy/introverted pretty much since I was a teen. Some people take it as being a snob and conceited which is the TOTAL opposite in my case. I just felt inadequate and I felt that I was not good enough for some reason. As a result, I just avoided social situations altogether thinking that it was just too much work.
I guess in the end, I can't blame anyone but myself. I've been through high school and college and still there has not been any significant improvement. I have seen a decent improvement in the past year or so in my confidence-level and my self-esteem. I have cried and just literally beat myself up because I just did not know what was wrong with me and why have I not developed any significant social/sexual relationships. I just have to look in the mirror and know that it is up to me to change b/c the world is not going to change for me. I used to be most comfortable being myself, but now I really do want to be around people. I just feel like its too much work, but I am definitely getting better in being more comfortable in my own skin and just being OK with who I am just the way that I am.
I know that it is a long and bumpy road everybody, but everyone struggles with something in their lives. This is part of our struggle and we have to be resilient and strong in order to make it through. I have my good days and my not so good days, but I have to keep going b/c I really don't know what tomorrow will bring. I just want to encourage everyone to try to find something positive and just build on that and try to improve yourselves.
I guess in the end, I can't blame anyone but myself. I've been through high school and college and still there has not been any significant improvement. I have seen a decent improvement in the past year or so in my confidence-level and my self-esteem. I have cried and just literally beat myself up because I just did not know what was wrong with me and why have I not developed any significant social/sexual relationships. I just have to look in the mirror and know that it is up to me to change b/c the world is not going to change for me. I used to be most comfortable being myself, but now I really do want to be around people. I just feel like its too much work, but I am definitely getting better in being more comfortable in my own skin and just being OK with who I am just the way that I am.
I know that it is a long and bumpy road everybody, but everyone struggles with something in their lives. This is part of our struggle and we have to be resilient and strong in order to make it through. I have my good days and my not so good days, but I have to keep going b/c I really don't know what tomorrow will bring. I just want to encourage everyone to try to find something positive and just build on that and try to improve yourselves.
LondonGuy
New member
I know this all too well. I'm 32 years old, never had a girlfriend, never had a date, it's been about six months since I've even had a hug from a girl. Before that, it was years, probably 2003 if not 2000.
In high school, I barely said two words to anyone. I was the type that would just go in and not speak a word to anyone. If it was a class where you had to do a lot of presentations and speak out, I would immediately drop it and take something more suited to me. I avoided the tech programs because there would be attention on me(like in a group setting or even worse, the whole class) and I hate being the centre of attention, it makes me really nervous and 'shaky'. (I'll get to that later)
I had no friends at my school. Basically every day after class I'd walk home (about 90 minutes) because I HATED the large crowd on the city bus. I could have switched schools, but I had already 'settled' into where I was and was afraid the new school would have been even worse for me, so I just toughed it out. Some days I just would wake up and couldn't go in, this really screwed me up if I'd have a test or it was another important day.
College, well I won't go there, but I flunked out.
It was years before I even touched a girl, I think the first time would have been about 1993 and then the following year, 1994, and even then it was just hugs. I went from then, right up until 2000 without so much as any sort of physical contact from any girls at all when I got what could be considered 'pity kisses' from a girl I supposedly dated. By supposedly I mean I only ever saw her twice.
The last time I've had so much as a kiss was the summer of 2002, with a girl I really liked. We did some stuff, I even told her I want her to be my first a few nights before it happened, but she backed out about half way though our 'make out session'. I did call her the next day but as we were talking she just randomly hung-up on me and that was the last time I ever spoke to her.
I used to just tell the truth about me being a virgin to women but lately I just made up some random BS. I thought if I was honest, I'd at least get some pity from women, but after so many years, I realized that will never work, so why not just lie instead?
It's to the point where I'm nervous to be around women in, especially in class where I'm noticeably shaky and it's embarressing because they probably think there's something wrong with me like I'm some sort of a crackhead.
I have pretty much accepted that I will never have kids, get married or even have a girlfriend. I get told "you're such a nice guy" all the time but I know that's just someone's way of BSing me.
I may type more later when my mind is more focused and I'm not so tired. But I really doubt anyone has it as bad as I do, because I'm basically at the same level as a 14 year old in terms of relationship mentality and sexual experience.
In high school, I barely said two words to anyone. I was the type that would just go in and not speak a word to anyone. If it was a class where you had to do a lot of presentations and speak out, I would immediately drop it and take something more suited to me. I avoided the tech programs because there would be attention on me(like in a group setting or even worse, the whole class) and I hate being the centre of attention, it makes me really nervous and 'shaky'. (I'll get to that later)
I had no friends at my school. Basically every day after class I'd walk home (about 90 minutes) because I HATED the large crowd on the city bus. I could have switched schools, but I had already 'settled' into where I was and was afraid the new school would have been even worse for me, so I just toughed it out. Some days I just would wake up and couldn't go in, this really screwed me up if I'd have a test or it was another important day.
College, well I won't go there, but I flunked out.
It was years before I even touched a girl, I think the first time would have been about 1993 and then the following year, 1994, and even then it was just hugs. I went from then, right up until 2000 without so much as any sort of physical contact from any girls at all when I got what could be considered 'pity kisses' from a girl I supposedly dated. By supposedly I mean I only ever saw her twice.
The last time I've had so much as a kiss was the summer of 2002, with a girl I really liked. We did some stuff, I even told her I want her to be my first a few nights before it happened, but she backed out about half way though our 'make out session'. I did call her the next day but as we were talking she just randomly hung-up on me and that was the last time I ever spoke to her.
I used to just tell the truth about me being a virgin to women but lately I just made up some random BS. I thought if I was honest, I'd at least get some pity from women, but after so many years, I realized that will never work, so why not just lie instead?
It's to the point where I'm nervous to be around women in, especially in class where I'm noticeably shaky and it's embarressing because they probably think there's something wrong with me like I'm some sort of a crackhead.
I have pretty much accepted that I will never have kids, get married or even have a girlfriend. I get told "you're such a nice guy" all the time but I know that's just someone's way of BSing me.
I may type more later when my mind is more focused and I'm not so tired. But I really doubt anyone has it as bad as I do, because I'm basically at the same level as a 14 year old in terms of relationship mentality and sexual experience.
sara1975
1
First of all i wanna say you should all stop being so hard on your self and putting your self down.
I was skinny with glasses in school and no boys ever looked at me but when i turned 16 the glasses came off and i got shapely and all of a sudden the boys that wouldn't of looked twice at me were asking me out, did i go out with them? hell no, i was still the same person that wore the glasses so if they weren't interested then then they could bugger off.
I had my first boyfriend at 16 but i was so scared of getting hurt or rejected that it just didn't work.
I had a few kisses and fumbles over the years but only when i was drunk as i had no confidence, i may of looked different to the girl i was with the glasses but i still felt the same inside.
I would watch my friends getting married and having kids and think that will never be me.
When i was 28 i started chatting to a bloke online and we really hit it off, after months of talking online he rang me and told me he loved me, he hadn't even seen my photo, funny thing was i felt the same and i hadn't seen his photo either.
It meant so much to me that he loved me for me not what he thought i was or that he only wanted one thing.
We met and now 6 and half years later we are still together, and married a year and a half ago.
Do you know what was funny, i had sat there feeling like life was passing me by watching my friends get married while i was alone and i felt like time was ticking away and now i am happily married and my friends relationships/marriages are all over.
It showed me that life isn't a race, theirs no time limit on when you have to have sex by, get married by or have kids because there is no guarantee that any of it will last.
I would lay money on it that most women would rather be with a man who has not slept around or has loads of ex girlfriends.
Women want a man who is her best friend, who she can talk to, who makes her feel safe, loved, wanted, needed and cared for.
A man who doesn't cheat, use her for one thing, doesn't lie and is honest.
And the most inportaint thing of all, the thing that attracts women the most is someone who makes her laugh.
You can meet someone who is stunning but is a complete **** and you will then not find them attractive at all and then you can meet someone who you don't find attractive at first but over time you start to have feelings for them because you love them for who they are.
I was skinny with glasses in school and no boys ever looked at me but when i turned 16 the glasses came off and i got shapely and all of a sudden the boys that wouldn't of looked twice at me were asking me out, did i go out with them? hell no, i was still the same person that wore the glasses so if they weren't interested then then they could bugger off.
I had my first boyfriend at 16 but i was so scared of getting hurt or rejected that it just didn't work.
I had a few kisses and fumbles over the years but only when i was drunk as i had no confidence, i may of looked different to the girl i was with the glasses but i still felt the same inside.
I would watch my friends getting married and having kids and think that will never be me.
When i was 28 i started chatting to a bloke online and we really hit it off, after months of talking online he rang me and told me he loved me, he hadn't even seen my photo, funny thing was i felt the same and i hadn't seen his photo either.
It meant so much to me that he loved me for me not what he thought i was or that he only wanted one thing.
We met and now 6 and half years later we are still together, and married a year and a half ago.
Do you know what was funny, i had sat there feeling like life was passing me by watching my friends get married while i was alone and i felt like time was ticking away and now i am happily married and my friends relationships/marriages are all over.
It showed me that life isn't a race, theirs no time limit on when you have to have sex by, get married by or have kids because there is no guarantee that any of it will last.
I would lay money on it that most women would rather be with a man who has not slept around or has loads of ex girlfriends.
Women want a man who is her best friend, who she can talk to, who makes her feel safe, loved, wanted, needed and cared for.
A man who doesn't cheat, use her for one thing, doesn't lie and is honest.
And the most inportaint thing of all, the thing that attracts women the most is someone who makes her laugh.
You can meet someone who is stunning but is a complete **** and you will then not find them attractive at all and then you can meet someone who you don't find attractive at first but over time you start to have feelings for them because you love them for who they are.