I have never had a girlfriend in my life

[mrb]

First of all i wanna say you should all stop being so hard on your self and putting your self down.
I was skinny with glasses in school and no boys ever looked at me but when i turned 16 the glasses came off and i got shapely and all of a sudden the boys that wouldn't of looked twice at me were asking me out, did i go out with them? hell no, i was still the same person that wore the glasses so if they weren't interested then then they could bugger off.
I had my first boyfriend at 16 but i was so scared of getting hurt or rejected that it just didn't work.
I had a few kisses and fumbles over the years but only when i was drunk as i had no confidence, i may of looked different to the girl i was with the glasses but i still felt the same inside.
I would watch my friends getting married and having kids and think that will never be me.
When i was 28 i started chatting to a bloke online and we really hit it off, after months of talking online he rang me and told me he loved me, he hadn't even seen my photo, funny thing was i felt the same and i hadn't seen his photo either.
It meant so much to me that he loved me for me not what he thought i was or that he only wanted one thing.
We met and now 6 and half years later we are still together, and married a year and a half ago.
Do you know what was funny, i had sat there feeling like life was passing me by watching my friends get married while i was alone and i felt like time was ticking away and now i am happily married and my friends relationships/marriages are all over.
It showed me that life isn't a race, theirs no time limit on when you have to have sex by, get married by or have kids because there is no guarantee that any of it will last.
I would lay money on it that most women would rather be with a man who has not slept around or has loads of ex girlfriends.
Women want a man who is her best friend, who she can talk to, who makes her feel safe, loved, wanted, needed and cared for.
A man who doesn't cheat, use her for one thing, doesn't lie and is honest.
And the most inportaint thing of all, the thing that attracts women the most is someone who makes her laugh.
You can meet someone who is stunning but is a complete **** and you will then not find them attractive at all and then you can meet someone who you don't find attractive at first but over time you start to have feelings for them because you love them for who they are.

you know what i quite enjoyed reading that , it was really quite touching ...

 

[sara1975]

you know what i quite enjoyed reading that , it was really quite touching ...

Why thank you, i do have my moments

 

[improperdancing]

Have you guys considered joining a dating site like okcupid? Maybe the online courtship thing would be much easier for some of you.

 

[LondonGuy]

I tried that Plenty of Fish and found it to be nothing more than a version of MySpace exclusive to those that are 18 and up. The entire site, 99% of the people listed are just attention whores, it's a large waste of time.

Any other dating site is a scam because of the fake profiles the admins put up to sucker people to sign up and keep them roped in.

 

[Richey]

if your tendencies are to be reclusive then the chances of meeting a girlfriend are going to be very slim..i think if more people just went to festivals and out to events, galleries, cinema, sports, whatever...instigate something with someone, the only times i've met other girls is when they initiated conversation with me..one time at a music festival two girls approached me and walked around with me just for a chat, they were either looking for a new friend or some company because they were alone ...its an incredibly exciting feeling, but in the end they are the ones who took that first step...if more people here including myself did that then the same would happen in return eventually..just do it as a test as well for practice sake. and if its awkward and not smooth try to remember that awkwardness can be good to...the girls that are easiest to get on with are those that arn't overly superficial and are down to earth about things...

 

[improperdancing]

I tried that Plenty of Fish and found it to be nothing more than a version of MySpace exclusive to those that are 18 and up. The entire site, 99% of the people listed are just attention whores, it's a large waste of time.

Any other dating site is a scam because of the fake profiles the admins put up to sucker people to sign up and keep them roped in.

Plentyoffish is 95% a cesspool of creeps and idiots, so it's a poor representation of dating sites. I think okcupid.com is alright, though. Its users tend to be younger than other dating sites (20-35), well-educated, urban, liberal types, so if that's what you're into, it could be worth a shot. I've met some seemingly quality guys there (seemingly because there was no way I'd be comfortable meeting anyone in person. It was just a short-term experiment for me.)

if your tendencies are to be reclusive then the chances of meeting a girlfriend are going to be very slim..i think if more people just went to festivals and out to events, galleries, cinema, sports, whatever...instigate something with someone, the only times i've met other girls is when they initiated conversation with me..

I agree. Though it's not as simple as that since it's not common for girls to hit on guys at places other than bars and clubs, unless you're a really good-looking guy.... Me, I go to all those places you mentioned (usually by myself), but I almost never get approached by men, due to a combination of unattractiveness and what I've been told is unapproachable body language.

 

[Luke1993]

I'm a bit more optimistic towards the future now. I'm sure someday I'll have a girlfriend but I still need to improve myself a bit!

 

[sara1975]

I'm a bit more optimistic towards the future now. I'm sure someday I'll have a girlfriend but I still need to improve myself a bit!

Luke don't change your self for someone else.
I told my hubby straight away about my loony-ness
It didn't bother him at all because he loved me for me including my loony-ness.
Everyone has there own problems and hang ups so my hubby supports me and i support him and that's the way it should be.

 

[coyote]

Sorry, I didn't have the patience to read through all 17 pages of this thread... but has anyone suggested finding a prostitute?

Is that bad form?

If not for the fast booze and cheap women (cheap booze and fast women?) I encountered during my tours overseas in the Marine Corps, I would not have had sex at all until I was about 23 years old.

 

[sara1975]

I think sometimes talking to people on a dating site can put pressure on for it to go somewhere so id say just go on normal chat sites to find friends and then that way the pressure is off and maybe the friendship will lead to more.

 

[AGR]

I too never had,I just wish I could find a girl who I could trust and wasnt a Hypocrite around here,doesnt even need to be the most beautiful girl ever,I guess not,thats to much to ask.

 

[iamthenra]

There aren't any women... At least none where I am from... Besides nobody wants a 41 year old Vvvvvv....guy... People say that there is someone for everyone... that may be true except for people like me. It's just the way it is.

 

[paulm]

I am 36 and never had a girlfriend, convinced myself that relationships were BS anyway, in the last year or so it has begun to haunt me. I feel as though I am an unlike-able freak. Yet I do have friends a small few. I can't open up to anyone. I worked at same company for 7 years but never made one friend. I cannot think of anything remotely interesting to say to anyone. Conversations simply die.

I already posted this comment on another thread. I concur with comments about dating sites. I have gone speed dating and got some positives and some rejections but then I have rejected women as well, at least get out there. You might even meet someone that has the same issues. Who would understand.

 

[FOR REAL]

see these days, i just think there is less pressure for people to have girlfriends/boyfriends etc

when my parents were young, the thing to do was get married to escape from the hell hole that they were in.

on second thoughts, i may have to disagree with myself about the first bit

 

[Zatarra]

I've never even tried to have a girlfriend and I'm 28.

The reason is because I don't believe many women would be interested
in a guy who still lives at home and doesn't have a driver's license.

 

[redski]

I've never even tried to have a girlfriend and I'm 28.

The reason is because I don't believe many women would be interested
in a guy who still lives at home and doesn't have a driver's license.

Haha, that is how I feel and the very same situation I am in.

 

[improperdancing]

Sorry, I didn't have the patience to read through all 17 pages of this thread... but has anyone suggested finding a prostitute?

I don't see anything wrong with this if you're truly desperate to lose your virginity, though I don't see how this could make any guy feel better about never having had a gf.

I've never even tried to have a girlfriend and I'm 28.

The reason is because I don't believe many women would be interested
in a guy who still lives at home and doesn't have a driver's license.

I've known women who have dated guys around your age without these things. I know a guy who's 29, is barely employed, lives at home, can't drive (though he lives in a city where driving is impractical anyway), and he doesn't have trouble getting women. The difference is he's outgoing and has confidence in spades... Yeah, some women your age are concerned with status and such, but there are also women out there who won't look down on your situation... you know, as long as you're employed or trying to find work, and mommy isn't waiting on you hand and foot.

 

[numb embryonic]

the only times i've met other girls is when they initiated conversation with me..one time at a music festival two girls approached me and walked around with me just for a chat

That's never happened to me. No girls have ever approached me to start small talk or shown interest. I know it happens to a lot of guys, but not to me for some reason. It eats me up, it really does. My brothers been asked out on train platform for god sake by a girl that chatted to him for 10 mins after meeting him, and she made the 1st move. If relationships start off from basic friendships and small talk like that, then I have no chance, nor do I have any right or options to ask a girl.

Superficial as it may seem, I've often thought it might be the height of a man that makes him approachable or not. I'm short-ish (5ft9 1/2) and my brothers 6ft2 and never had problems getting women since 14. It's the protector thing I guess. They portray higher mate value.

 

[dooby-duck]

I think a big problem of mine in this department is that I avoid the kind of places and situations where I could find a girlfriend. I would also need a girl who would make the first moves. I can't take hints either so miss the signs that a girl maybe interested. I seem to realise several years later.

 

[da_illest101]

I think a big problem of mine in this department is that I avoid the kind of places and situations where I could find a girlfriend. I would also need a girl who would make the first moves. I can't take hints either so miss the signs that a girl maybe interested. I seem to realise several years later.

yea i'm exactly like that, the only gf i had one the only one who made the first and did all the work. It only lasted a week cause i was too stressed out about it