I can't talk around people

Tulicks

Tulicks

Well-known member
In really upset at the moment. I know this is going to sound bizarre, but I can't talk around people. I'm literally Mute. Not one thought comes to my mind, and if a thought does come to my mind I often question the relevance of it and question whether or not it is worth saying. This has been going on for a few years now and I am seriously getting fed up with it. Does anyone else experience this and what are some ways I can come out of this shell of mine. How do I get the thoughts flowing in my mind again. I'm dying to communicate but I can't. Please help.
 
Srijita52

Srijita52

Well-known member
I know how you feel. I'm exactly same and I've always been this way. The thing that helps me is trying not to filter anything and say whatever comes to my mind. Maybe you can elaborate your points except for giving just short answers. I guess the only way to get better is to keep trying though. Keep engaging yourself into conversations, good luck.
 
fadedteal

fadedteal

Well-known member
OP you spoke my words. I am exactly the same as you. Only when I'm typing that I can talk to people, so I only made a few online friends.
 
E

Etbow23

Well-known member
I find it really uncomfortable to be around people I don't know. I usually only bond with one person at a time. Also if I'm talking in public with someone I get mortified if people around us hear certain things.

I wish I give you advice about how to loosen up but I myself am not sure....it's so difficult to figure some things out that to other people seem so easy :(
 
Starry

Starry

Well-known member
Yes, I have difficulty speaking around people... When my husband's uncle visits I am mute... I'll only speak if spoken to and then it's the absolute minimum... (His uncle doesn't speak to me, in order to avoid causing me stress... It probably actually makes things worse in the long run, because it means it's even more obvious if I do manage to speak...) Sometimes I have things I want to say and it drives me mad that I just cannot open my mouth and say them... I can't even speak to my husband when people are around... I end up gesturing to him when they're not looking...

So I'm afraid I am unable to give you any advice. :(
 
FriendlyShadow

FriendlyShadow

Well-known member
Hey, I'm having the same difficulties when I speak to people(even ones I don't know too well) And what's worse is that I have to hear people telling me how quiet I am or even question why I'm the way I am. I don't know what other advice I can give you other than being yourself, but that's just me.
 
VitalSign

VitalSign

Member
im exactly the same way,and when i try to talk i open my mouth and nothing comes out..hope this gets better for you..
 
recluse

recluse

Well-known member
I'm the same. The only exception if the person has the same interests as me, for example i can talk about guns to guys form the gun club. People i have little in common with i can't think of anything to say and i sit there like a mute.
 
JuiceB

JuiceB

Well-known member
I don't have alot of things to say to people. Or more accurately I don't know what to talk about when conversating.
 
cowboyup

cowboyup

Well-known member
It's like having selective mutism.

Around people, especially if I do not know them, my mind goes blank and I just end up standing there feeling like a freak. I hate when people sarcastically say things like: "well, you sure a talkative person" or "you just don't know when to stop talking"
 
Z

zhaich

Member
I still have something similar to selective mutism. For me, its an inner fear that my words would not be understood by others and I struggle with the question "Why bother?" frequently. Except that my fear has been confirmed in the past, so it is not irrational. So for now, I think the best thing to do is to trust yourself, knowing what to say in a given social situation, and knowing that only you can take care of yourself.

But still, the point remains: what's the point?
 
D

dragonoth

Well-known member
Don't think, just come out with it. And don't let other people's reactions stop you from speaking out more. If you're genuinely curious about something and you don't know much about it, there's nothing wrong with asking, even if it's the most obvious thing to some people (as an example). Besides, you're getting more practice at speaking up if you do say what's on your mind.

But I'd refrain from speaking bad thoughts out loud, like if you want to kill someone. Nobody knows how to react nicely to that :p
 
MissPsychNerd

MissPsychNerd

Active member
cowboyup said:
I hate when people sarcastically say things like: "well, you sure a talkative person" or "you just don't know when to stop talking"
Click to expand...


I hate that, too. My optometrist always tells me I'm a "woman with few words" every single time I visit - Ugh. They have no clue. :rolleyes: @#$%^!
 
cowboyup

cowboyup

Well-known member
MissPsychNerd said:
I hate that, too. My optometrist always tells me I'm a "woman with few words" every single time I visit - Ugh. They have no clue. :rolleyes: @#$%^!
Click to expand...


and you feel like saying "one more time lady and I'm gonna punch you"
but always end up with a fake smile and nod. At least that's me.
 
Bo592

Bo592

Well-known member
Tulicks said:
In really upset at the moment. I know this is going to sound bizarre, but I can't talk around people. I'm literally Mute. Not one thought comes to my mind, and if a thought does come to my mind I often question the relevance of it and question whether or not it is worth saying. This has been going on for a few years now and I am seriously getting fed up with it. Does anyone else experience this and what are some ways I can come out of this shell of mine. How do I get the thoughts flowing in my mind again. I'm dying to communicate but I can't. Please help.
Click to expand...
Finding the right words to say feel hard for me too. I tryed making all kinds of threads on here about that how to find the words. But like you said it because your nervous about what is good or bad to say to one each other. We prejudged our words before we use them so much we don`t use them .
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top