I am creepy because I am alone ...

[Bo592]

Being lonely is like warring a big sign that says their something wrong with me. People find it creepy instead of finding sympathy for it. That what goes thought my mind why I don`t like to go outside or every try to go out and improve my life. I know as soon as I go thought the door alone people will think what wrong with him. They see me as a scary stockers they all keep close watch over me just simple because I am alone. They won`t give me a chance to show them who I am because they are afraid of who I might be.

 

[dottie]

I am a cat lady.

(Minus the cats, my cat passed.)

 

[anthonykell]

Hi Bo592,

I suggest you try to find some like-minded people nearby who you can meet and start a friendship with. Start with one person, then try to add another person to your group. Once you feel comfortable you can add another so you start to build relationships in a slow, careful and comfortable manner.

I think you need to start talking to people and share your thoughts and ideas with others. No one thinks you are creepy; that's what you perceive others to think about you but it isn't true. The truth is, most people are so busy with their own lives, they have no time to think much about others.

Try to eliminate this thought from your mind.

 

[Pacific_Loner]

I know as soon as I go thought the door alone people will think what wrong with him. They see me as a scary stockers they all keep close watch over me just simple because I am alone. They won`t give me a chance to show them who I am because they are afraid of who I might be.

The truth is, most people are so busy with their own lives, they have no time to think much about others.

Try to eliminate this thought from your mind.

This is true. People don't care. Much. Of course let's not fool ourselves, if you look weird, people who happens to lay eyes on you will think you are weird. Then, in less than 5 minutes, they will forget about you and go on with their lives.

And there you are, torturing yourself about the way they looked at you.

Don't you think that what you are doing right now is assuming that "the people" is thinking wrong about you, and letting this assumption, about something as abstract as stranger's thoughts, ruin your life? Willingly?

 

[Kiwong]

Yep. I think everyone in the small minded town I live in knows me. The old strange man who runs. A 51 year old single man. People draw all sorts of conclusions, each one unhelpful to my health. Some are direct and blurt their opinions straight out "You're Strange, weird." like letting rip with a mind fart. Others talk about me while I am present, as if I don't have ears or an intelligence.

I will say that some people, do not forget abut me and my anxiety, they continue their anger and strident ignorance every time I am unfortunate to spend time in the same space as them. Strangers may forget, but the staff of shops, service stations, chemists, newsagents, the people I work with, people at clubs I am involved with. They don't forget, and they tell everyone they know how strange I am, until it seems everyone in town knows me. And I hear the gossip about me circulate through various levels of the building I work in. They remember and they make my life hell.

But the amazing thing is some people are kind, which goes beyond all expectation.

 

[Odo]

Unfortunately, I would have to agree with you, OP.

There is definitely a stigma to being alone and I don't think it does anyone any good to ignore it or pretend it doesn't exist. Sometimes you can convince people that you're not creepy/going to hurt them, but at the very least loners are considered odd.

Movies and TV and such portray loners as unstable, creepy or violent... sort of the whole 'he was a quiet type, kept to himself really' thing. I would also say that it's usually the darkest point of the story when a hero finds himself alone/abandoned.

It's rare you would see positive portrayals of loners... it happens sometimes, but usually only when they're to be pitied/are tragic or pathetic figures desperately in need of a relationship/a friend.

 

[Opaline]

Unfortunately, I would have to agree with you, OP.

There is definitely a stigma to being alone and I don't think it does anyone any good to ignore it or pretend it doesn't exist. Sometimes you can convince people that you're not creepy/going to hurt them, but at the very least loners are considered odd.

Movies and TV and such portray loners as unstable, creepy or violent... sort of the whole 'he was a quiet type, kept to himself really' thing. I would also say that it's usually the darkest point of the story when a hero finds himself alone/abandoned.

It's rare you would see positive portrayals of loners... it happens sometimes, but usually only when they're to be pitied/are tragic or pathetic figures desperately in need of a relationship/a friend.

Yep.

Just recently one of my professors was telling us a story about how he lived with several other people while in college, and he said there was one guy who lived in the basement and was really weird. Someone asked in what way he was weird, and my professor said, "In what way WASN'T he weird. He was a loner, a very non-social person," and that was the end of his description...

What I want to know, OP, is how do these people who supposedly think you are weird know you are alone all the time? Most people go to class or work alone, among other things. A lot of people spend a good deal of time alone until they have their scheduled social time or whatever. How do these people know you aren't just busy or something? Do you live in a small town? While people do often find loners "weird", you may just be a bit paranoid because they may not necessarily know your schedule and life.

 

[MollyBeGood]

If you're alone you might be a "free-thinker" and that is the last thing society wants People who don't need others. How can people be controlled who don't care for the group mentality? It's best to label them freaks so others don't become like them....you know...loners who might have a free thought that differs from the norm that is supposed to be how everyone behaves.
I hate groups of people or clubs of any kind. There's always an agenda and someone trying to lead others with their way of being. People need to get their own lives and minds and learn to think for themselves!

 

[Gieky]

Maybe you feel "creepy" because nobody knows enough about you. Try opening up to people, talk about what your hobbies are. If they think you're weird, they will think it anyway, so it is better that they perceive you as strange but familiar rather than creepy and a possible stalker.

 

[Gieky]

Yep. I think everyone in the small minded town I live in knows me. The old strange man who runs. A 51 year old single man. People draw all sorts of conclusions, each one unhelpful to my health. Some are direct and blurt their opinions straight out "You're Strange, weird." like letting rip with a mind fart. Others talk about me while I am present, as if I don't have ears or an intelligence.

I will say that some people, do not forget abut me and my anxiety, they continue their anger and strident ignorance every time I am unfortunate to spend time in the same space as them. Strangers may forget, but the staff of shops, service stations, chemists, newsagents, the people I work with, people at clubs I am involved with. They don't forget, and they tell everyone they know how strange I am, until it seems everyone in town knows me. And I hear the gossip about me circulate through various levels of the building I work in. They remember and they make my life hell.

But the amazing thing is some people are kind, which goes beyond all expectation.

That's horrible. I'm sorry you live in a town of people who never grew out of their high school mentality. But I'm glad you do find kind people sometimes. They are the best!

 

[Nanita]

If you're alone you might be a "free-thinker" and that is the last thing society wants People who don't need others. How can people be controlled who don't care for the group mentality? It's best to label them freaks so others don't become like them....you know...loners who might have a free thought that differs from the norm that is supposed to be how everyone behaves.
I hate groups of people or clubs of any kind. There's always an agenda and someone trying to lead others with their way of being. People need to get their own lives and minds and learn to think for themselves!

Omg yes yes......... exactly my thoughts on this

 

[jaim38]

This reminds me of the old days when I sat in the cafeteria and classrooms alone and people think I'm creepy. I get comments like "she has no friends" being said in a derogatory manner, not to mention all those loner comments. There's nothing wrong being a free thinker or a loner, but most of society expects us to be/look social. You could try moving to a less conservative town such as Boston or San Francisco where the culture might be more accepting of loners, geeks, and other types of people from the counterculture.

 

[MollyBeGood]

Omg yes yes......... exactly my thoughts on this

Great minds....hehe :thumbup:

 

[Bo592]

breaking the ice of being a total stranger has never been a clear answer to me. I do agree with all of you that it is all in my head. I just never know when I am allowed to say something. what is over the top and what is not over the top. I think being a stranger rules me out of a lot of chances to get to know somebody. I am not proud of anything of my life that I have to share to them all my stories of my life are sad.​

I am making improvements in my life I am making my brain work better with exercise to help with my problem solving ability . I am starting to force myself to do things I am normal afraid of doing. But still what is good to share and what is not still does not make sense to me. anyways

I thank you all for your helpful comments. you are all are very good writers and very smart.​

 

[SmileMore]

Being lonely is like warring a big sign that says their something wrong with me. People find it creepy instead of finding sympathy for it. That what goes thought my mind why I don`t like to go outside or every try to go out and improve my life. I know as soon as I go thought the door alone people will think what wrong with him. They see me as a scary stockers they all keep close watch over me just simple because I am alone. They won`t give me a chance to show them who I am because they are afraid of who I might be.

For somebody who obviously has low self esteem you also must think pretty highly of yourself if you think that everyone cares about what you're doing as soon as you walk out the front door. See what i'm saying?

I see people walking down the street, alone, all the time. I don't think they're weird or whatever. I barely even notice them. I'd only think they were weird if they were dressed as a clown or talking to themselves etc...

 

[S_Spartan]

I showed someone online my picture recently and they said I looked like a creepy criminal type and I said "good". : p

 

[JA0706]

Hey Bo,

I can totally relate. I really felt like that a lot when I was younger, being alone and for me wanting to join a social group during lunch or something but having no idea how and feeling like they thought I was creepy.

How old are you? Teens? 20s? 30s? I really feel like that makes a huge difference. WOuldn't be as difficult in your 20s and less difficult in 30s as people get less judgemental.

What kind of stuff do you like to do? Have you been to MeetUp.com? you can probably find a group that you would like. If its hiking, for example, the fact that you're hiking and its a MeetUp group means that going alone isn't creepy at all. Everyone knows you're there to meet people.

For me too in college, I got into Buddhism and joined the buddhism club and a buddhist group off campus. People were really nice and they were happy I wanted to be there. Plus a lot of it was meditation or organized/structured group discussion, which I loved because it was calmer and when I wanted to speak I didn't have to worry about being interrupted and then when I wasn't speaking I didn't have to worry about speaking up.

Hope that helps

Jared

 

[Metal_isthe_Answer]

I find that once you get to a certain age people just assume youre with someone.
Its good and bad, good because people dont assume youre single and talk about it, bad because if youre single, people you like just think of you as a friend