How can i keep my cool if another women flirts with my bf

[LazyHermitCrab]

I went on a double date and the waitress took my boyfriends card for a drink and is like "WOW you're an aquarius right??" I'm thinking wtf... why does it matter? I hate being jealous and there was nothing I could do about it. How do you handle stuff like this? I hate being pushed to the side like I'm not there... The funny thing is that I paid for dinner so I was in charge of tip... It was a nice tip, but now I regret giving her a good tip to be "nice." I was trying to pretend it didn't bother me. I think because she stopped towards the end because I have her "the eye" to back off but I'm not sure. I just wish more people were respectful you know?

 

[doctor_who]

I always have this problrm...like once sitting at a table with my boyfriend on a train and the girl opposite us on the table kept smiling and playing with her hair and staring at my boyfriend...she was a complete stranger and I know sometimes people look at people on trains butvthis ridiculous and I felt so angry so I gave her an evil look cause every time my boyfriend said something funny shed giggle.(like a girly pathetic giggle when you like someone)..so I kissed him but she still didnt stop...she just stared at him the cinema whole journey...some girls are shlags who feel the need to flirt with other girls boyfriends....my advicev to you would to talk to your boyfriend, let him know how you feel..theres not much you can do about other girls, some girls are just female dogs...I know I sometimes feel I have to hold my boyfriends hand to stop girls looking at him I do it when im insecure cause alot of girls double glance at him...I do it out of love too but sometimes I start an argument with him bout it but theres nothing he can do bout it....if your boyfriend is chatty to waitresses or people serving you at places tell him that you would like if he backed off a bit...most girls misinterpret someone being nice as they have an interest in them snd somehow the gf becomes invisible....when we go out for a meal my bf used to be really chatty and chat with whoever was serving us just being friendly..but he realised how insecure it made me and now he doesn't even give them eye contact he leaves the ordering up to me...which is very hard for me but its something I need to do as he used to order for us...

 

[LazyHermitCrab]

I always have this problrm...like once sitting at a table with my boyfriend on a train and the girl opposite us on the table kept smiling and playing with her hair and staring at my boyfriend...she was a complete stranger and I know sometimes people look at people on trains butvthis ridiculous and I felt so angry so I gave her an evil look cause every time my boyfriend said something funny shed giggle.(like a girly pathetic giggle when you like someone)..so I kissed him but she still didnt stop...she just stared at him the cinema whole journey...some girls are shlags who feel the need to flirt with other girls boyfriends....my advicev to you would to talk to your boyfriend, let him know how you feel..theres not much you can do about other girls, some girls are just female dogs...I know I sometimes feel I have to hold my boyfriends hand to stop girls looking at him I do it when im insecure cause alot of girls double glance at him...I do it out of love too but sometimes I start an argument with him bout it but theres nothing he can do bout it....if your boyfriend is chatty to waitresses or people serving you at places tell him that you would like if he backed off a bit...most girls misinterpret someone being nice as they have an interest in them snd somehow the gf becomes invisible....when we go out for a meal my bf used to be really chatty and chat with whoever was serving us just being friendly..but he realised how insecure it made me and now he doesn't even give them eye contact he leaves the ordering up to me...which is very hard for me but its something I need to do as he used to order for us...

Sorry about the awkward train ride. I would have been pissed too. My bf didn't initiate anything except for simply asking for a drink. It was all her. I find if I dress more conservative it makes make the hooker acting women "too comfortable" around me. Anyway when I'm at work I make sure to treat all people equally. It's not hard even when I was single I knew it was the right thing to do. Oh lol I don't like ordering either, but that's a good plan you guys have.

 

[nicole1]

Answer for him in a friendly way... She'll get the hint and he may not see that you are jealous at the moment.

Sometimes, you can't control that and people will flirt so...I hate to say get over it but just know it's something that's not in your hands and not worth being mad about.

 

[Lea]

It seems to me quite innocent.. if you take it to the lenghth you mind him having just a friendly chat with some other woman or smiling at her etc., it seems to me too restrictive. If I were you, I wouldn´t control him and leave it up to him, if he really loves you, he stays with you, if not, he will end up cheating, but in this case he isn´t worth it anyway.

 

[Yarrow]

Answer for him in a friendly way... She'll get the hint and he may not see that you are jealous at the moment.

Sometimes, you can't control that and people will flirt so...I hate to say get over it but just know it's something that's not in your hands and not worth being mad about.

I think this is sound advice. A good boyfriend will politely turn down advances and keep to friendly chat, too.

 

[Hellhound]

If you keep getting jealous over people just talking to your boyfriend, you're going to lose him. I would get tired if my partner was that posessive, not to mention it would make me feel like they don't trust me.

 

[coyote]

wait staff and salespersons flirt by nature - try not to assume anything more than they are good at their job and just trying to close the deal (make a better sale, get a bigger tip).

i'm not sure whether it is that people who are naturally flirtatious end up in sales positions, or that working in sales positions causes people to be come naturally flirtatious - but i recognize that i tend to be charming even when i don't have any further intentions

since typically, the guy pays the bill, the guy will be the one flirted with by the waitress. maybe she needs to brush up on her same-sex flirting techniques.

 

[Sial Axetder]

wait staff and salespersons flirt by nature - try not to assume anything more than they are good at their job and just trying to close the deal (make a better sale, get a bigger tip).

i'm not sure whether it is that people who are naturally flirtatious end up in sales positions, or that working in sales positions causes people to be come naturally flirtatious - but i recognize that i tend to be charming even when i don't have any further intentions

since typically, the guy pays the bill, the guy will be the one flirted with by the waitress. maybe she needs to brush up on her same-sex flirting techniques.

Yep! This!

Also, some men and women prefer the men and women they flirt with to be taken. My co-worker did a test. Two bus trips. One without a ring and one with a ring on his left ring finger. The day he rode the bus with the ring on, he received attention from almost every woman on the bus. :question:

 

[LazyHermitCrab]

I do trust him it's just that I don't like how people act sometimes and it pisses me off...

 

[Feathers]

lol why would you like to keep your cool?

Just kiddin'! I probably wouldn't like it if someone flirted too much too, agree with Coyote though... Sometimes it can be just 'waitress talk' (a friend does it inadvertently even, body language of flirting etc.)

You could say something like 'This Aquarius is taken' and grab him round the shoulders, dunno?

 

[Agent_Violet]

To show possessiveness would be a huge mistake. It makes you look petty,insecure,and childish...not saying you are these things but showing a reaction is how it makes you look.
Plus,if the person is genuinely flirting with your partner,giving them a reaction would be to show weakness.If someone is aggressive enough to flirt with a taken person,showing weakness to them will give them what they need to take the flirting a step further.

Confidence is the best way to chase away a disrespectful flirt.

oh and don't ever answer questions for your partner.It makes them look controlled,trapped,and unable to speak for themselves.Answering for your partner is basically showing your have zero faith in their ability to do the right thing.

 

[Feathers]

Hi Violet!

hm, maybe a glare is better then lol
Well, I've seen a girl do the 'He's taken' routine and it just looked humorous... didn't read all that into it

 

[bcsr]

It seems to me quite innocent.. if you take it to the lenghth you mind him having just a friendly chat with some other woman or smiling at her etc., it seems to me too restrictive. If I were you, I wouldn´t control him and leave it up to him, if he really loves you, he stays with you, if not, he will end up cheating, but in this case he isn´t worth it anyway.

Pretty much this.

If you keep getting jealous over people just talking to your boyfriend, you're going to lose him. I would get tired if my partner was that posessive, not to mention it would make me feel like they don't trust me.

And this.

I would certainly be offended if my girlfriend wanted me to sit there quietly and refuse to talk to people.

 

[doctor_who]

Well my boyfriend told me that another girl playfully punched him and ruffled his hair and was major flirting with him, what is with people nowadays cant girls just back off, she knows about me so why would she flirt with him...I have a guy mate who ive known since I was in nappies and when im around him I dont flirt with him cause he has a girlfriend althougb our relationship has been very playful at times but I dont think its right now we are both in relationships, guess I have morals and would never dream of trying to steal another womans boyfriend, think the saying is true though that guys look more attractive when they have a girlfriend cause most girls like a challenge and find it somehow fun and okay to flirt with a taken man. Obviously because he told me it means he thinks nothing of it I kinda went a bit mental but theres nothing I can do...I suppose just got to look at it with confidence

 

[Tamara89]

I go through the same thing all the time!! I'll be holding my bfs hand walking through the shops and girls check him out everywhere we go. It's like I'm invisible. But I don't bother looking or taking notice anymore I just look straight ahead. I'm the jealous type as well so it does get hard sometimes. I think it's just a common thing that happens, people can just be plain disrespectful. Its their loss though, just think to yourself "you can look but you can't touch!!" ;-)

 

[LazyHermitCrab]

Thanks everyone for writing your opinions. I'm just gonna act like I don't care and ignore whoever it is and maybe give the "you're stupid" glare. Today I was walking in a grocery store and caught a guy looking at me first and his girlfriend slapped him in front of me. It made me think "I don't want to act like that." I would never slap my bf for looking at another girl except in my mind

 

[Odo]

I would take it as a compliment and say something like 'yeah, he's hot... too bad for you'.

 

[jc972]

My wife seems amused when I get flirted with, I find her amused reaction comical. Once we were in a store and we were each looking at separate items about 20 feet apart and this boy, he was maybe 19 or 20 comes up and asks her for her phone number. She said "you can ask my husband, he is right there." I smiled and waved at the kid and he goes "dude, I am sooo sorry, I apologize" looking at me like he was wondering how I'd react. I said "don't worry about it, how do you think I got her number?" :lol: I guess he thought I was mad, hardly, I was trying not to laugh. :sarcastic:

 

[drakir]

i dont understand love.............. .-.