How are you feeling?

Ah-- I usually try but it's too much this time.
I just can't stop hyperventilating and sobbing.
****... I hate being this way.

Just wondering, is someone forcing you to go? If so, does this person/persons think that attending this function is more important then your health?:confused:
Can't you just refuse to go?
 
B

Beatrice

Guest
Bored, tired......... Tired, bored.......

I wouldn't be bored if I wasn't tired :rolleyes:

I wouldn't be tired if I hadn't worked for 8 hours.

I'd be broke if I hadn't worked for 8 hours.

I'd be screwed if I was broke.

I'd be depressed if I was screwed.


So, overall, not necessarily a bad thing.
 

Nitro

Member
Turned 19 a week ago but feel more depressed and lonely than ever. Don't mind the loneliness so much since I'm an only child and have been alone most of my life but the depression really gets to me. It's been eating away at me for years. It doesn't help that I seem to be on an endless spiral of bad luck. Feels like the only thing keeping me going is my anger.
 

WeirdyMcGee

Well-known member
Just wondering, is someone forcing you to go? If so, does this person/persons think that attending this function is more important then your health?:confused:
Can't you just refuse to go?

I decided to go on my own-- before I realized how many people were going to be there.
I've had 15 family members and old friends pass away in the past 12 months, so I know that going to this thing might be my last chance to see alot of people but even so--- thinking about the sheer *amount of people* who are going to be there... it seems more like a running long jump leap- rather than a babystep.
I don't think I could do that even on my best day.
I haven't been in a crowd that big in 4 years and the last time I was; I had heart palpitations and ended up in the hospital.

I don't know what I'm doing...
 

WeirdyMcGee

Well-known member
Can you think of it as meeting up with one person after another rather than a large group - sort of bubble it to individuals and block out the group - that's what I do but I'm not sure that I'm explaining it that well, that way it puts it into steps

I could try, but I doubt I'll have the focus and control in a sea of people to zone everyone else out and only focus on a couple at a time.
Even just going to a grocery store in the middle of the night when there are 5 people-- seems like there are 50 people with all their eyes on me when I'm focusing on picking up my shopping list and leaving.
My mind just won't shut off and I can't seem to focus it on anything.

I guess it doesn't matter either way.
I can just spend the whole day sitting in the hot car by myself, crying myself in and out of consciousness.
It's not a big deal.
 
B

Beatrice

Guest
Never mind, not bored. Just pissed off and kind of depressed. I just want to brush people's stupid comments off. I think I'm getting better at it.

But anyway, just being alive sometimes makes me feel ill. Like I don't deserve to walk the planet. It doesn't make sense to feel that way, but I do. It's hard to fight that feeling, too.

I'm sick of doing stupid things I regret, sick of feeling frustrated and anxious anxious anxious all the time.

Why do I have to keep trying? :( I can't be myself and be a whole human being, so why should I try? :(

I'm going to go crawl off and die somewhere.

Funny, if you're proud people try to bring you down. If you're too low, they mock you. You're supposed to be a healthy "something", but even then they try. You're not supposed to care. Ugh.
 

NP88

Well-known member
A little trapped, lost in the sense of my place in this world. Hopefull yet frustrated. Wishing I had someone to love.
 

Kiwong

Well-known member
A glorious winters morning. Wattles are starting to flower. I kept pace with a couple of brush turkeys until they swerved off the trail. A beautiful warmth to the sun. I felt glad to be alive, and so lucky to be able to run.
 

simpsons2007

Well-known member
i miss the spw i knew..

where is everyone? come out, come out wherever you are! :(

i feel like a big loner.. i really have no friends, i know i mention sometime im meeting friends or what not, but its like, i see them once a year, i have no friends i am close to, no one knows what im up to, or care .. i never keep my phone beside me, because no one contacts me.. and when i get a text, it feels like a surprise! my face lit up, only to be an advertisement from the phone network! but then it felt better than nobody to contact me. im just feeling sad ::(: ::(:

i miss everyone!

I'm sorry your feeling sad . Why not try and meet your friends more often than once a year if you can and try to work on the friendships you have got so you can become closer friends with them. I know its easier sad than do but it might be worth a try. I know how you feel all to well being a loner myself and having no friends I know its not a nice feeling. Hope your doing better today?
 

simpsons2007

Well-known member
I'm doing a little better (but not much) than I have been doing over the past week and a bit.

But I'm still not doing too great. I do think I am slowly getting through this period of severe depression.
 

Graeme1988

Hie yer hence from me heath!
I just found out my dad has cancer. ::(: I'm f**king devastated, crying right now. My dad and I never really got along that well. And early this year I cut off contact with him. ::(:
 
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