I'm depressed as well. F*cked. Not acute, but miserable enough.
And i know exactly what its due to - doing a whole screed of changes in my life (mainly de-cluttering house). Change f*cks me up, upsets me, triggers depression. Lost the safety/stability, the love, the meaning. Everything right now has suddenly become more or less cold & hostile & unfamiliar. But i'm not stopping now.
Just shows how "tentative" my well-being is .. and i don't think that well-being should be that tentative, which is why i'm still going ahead with some pretty major life changes (for me). De-cluttering (am a "pack-rat"), re-doing decor, bought another laptop & desktop pc's, will buy a motorbike (& start going abroad regulalry), eating better, taking my pills again, etc, etc. Its for the better, in the "big picture", but just absolute hell right now. But things will return to normal in time.
And think i probably need to continue working on my life beliefs/philosophies, to reach a "place" which is "rock-solid", such that well-being cannot be affected by anything - changes, whatever. When i reach that place, then i believe that is who i was always meant to be. Then no longer will i get depressed (due to changes or anything else). No longer will the "meaning" in my life keep coming & going. No longer will i be afraid of change. No longer will my fear of change keep me "hemmed into" my tiny rat-cage, unable to do the things that i NEED to do, SHOULD do, and maybe even WANT (deep down) to do. Sounds good in theory, eh?
