How are you feeling?

gazelle

Well-known member
Super posted another version of this, but....... I want this pill.

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I need lots too!
 
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Beatrice

Guest
So much hatred in me for one side of my family. So tired of being mistreated. So tired of trying to stand up to them. So tired of being depressed like this. Nowhere to go, no stable family no friends. Stuck here with THEM. Lost. I've lost everything that meant anything to me and I'm left with myself, which isn't enough. And every day I get a little more angry at them, a little more bitter. I can't look them in the eyes without feeling like they can read the hate all over my face. I try to pretend but I can feel it in every nerve. I hate them. They don't know me. A new college is my only way out. And who knows where I go from there. I wish I had a close friend to be here with me. Everything is just miserable shades of a sickening struggle for survival and a struggle to be who I am. They suffocate me and try to fit me into their stupid f****** mold of who they think I am. And the one person who was actually there for me - my mom - isn't even there for me any more because she likes the bottle too much sometimes. Just don't know how to see the light.

Anyway, rant over.
 

NathanielWingatePeaslee

Iä! Iä! Cthulhu fhtagn!
Staff member
So much hatred in me for one side of my family. So tired of being mistreated. So tired of trying to stand up to them. So tired of being depressed like this. Nowhere to go, no stable family no friends. Stuck here with THEM. Lost. I've lost everything that meant anything to me and I'm left with myself, which isn't enough. And every day I get a little more angry at them, a little more bitter. I can't look them in the eyes without feeling like they can read the hate all over my face. I try to pretend but I can feel it in every nerve. I hate them. They don't know me. A new college is my only way out. And who knows where I go from there. I wish I had a close friend to be here with me. Everything is just miserable shades of a sickening struggle for survival and a struggle to be who I am. They suffocate me and try to fit me into their stupid f****** mold of who they think I am. And the one person who was actually there for me - my mom - isn't even there for me any more because she likes the bottle too much sometimes. Just don't know how to see the light.

Anyway, rant over.
I have a lot of experience with family members I can't stand. Keep in mind that you can't change them, but you do have power over yourself.

If they won't be reasonable, then don't talk to them when you don't have to, and don't try to make them see reason when you know they won't.

When they aren't around--and this is the big one--watch your thoughts. Every time you're thinking about them and getting upset, what that amounts to is giving them power to make you feel like crap when they aren't even there. The moment is everything--don't let them take away your good moments. They will take away enough as it is.

Eventually, practicing that will help. It takes time.
 
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Beatrice

Guest
I have a lot of experience with family members I can't stand. Keep in mind that you can't change them, but you do have power over yourself.

If they won't be reasonable, then don't talk to them when you don't have to, and don't try to make them see reason when you know they won't.

When they aren't around--and this is the big one--watch your thoughts. Every time you're thinking about them and getting upset, what that amounts to is giving them power to make you feel like crap when they aren't even there. The moment is everything--don't let them take away your good moments. They will take away enough as it is.

Eventually, practicing that will help. It takes time.

You are so right. And I realized exactly what you said about them not seeing reason, a long time ago. I need them out of my life as soon as I can manage that. They're toxic people. I'm already planning my "escape". It's what gives me a little bit of hope.

Thank you for the advice.

God, I love this site. I feel like this random place on the Internet is my home now. If that's weird or unhealthy, I don't care. It makes me happy.
 
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