I upped my dosage about two weeks ago. I talked with my mom and I'm going to try and split the dosage up so I'm not taking all of it before bedtime. We'll see how that goes.
How are you feeling?
- Thread starter Remus
- Start date
I upped my dosage about two weeks ago. I talked with my mom and I'm going to try and split the dosage up so I'm not taking all of it before bedtime. We'll see how that goes.
DespairSoul
Well-known member
horribly alone and unwanted. :: why do i go through these spells where i can't handle isolation????
:
: Emu gosh sorry to hear that I hope u will feel soon better and drink some good couple of tea. I hope u will tomorrow really be fine and don't feel this way. Is one of the sad things feel lonely i know that feeling and yet if i case me often my loneliness with own help this is the best paradox. :/
dean01
Well-known member
i feel terrible!! im just getting over my first mixed manic episode and cant believe the mess ive caused, how ? why did i do and say all that stuff. i cant even appologise to the people ive hurt as they wont talk to me, the docs say its not my fault but the reality of what ive done still hurts the same.
Lea
Banned
I am fed up. I just had that weird kind of dream again in which I was controlled. It was no hallucination, but very clear, long and vivid dream. I know you will think I'm crazy but I have no doubt now that someone is messing with my brain – in my dreams at least. I want to be control of myself and not let some bastards to take it over without me not being able to do anything against it. It usually presents itself as a presence of buzzing and some strange force is manipulating me, my body and my brain. This time it was some fairy tale lady, kind of Virgen Mary who caused the buzzing and created miracles in front of my eyes.. then my cousin came who was totally controlled by it too and whom the lady caused to have the same powers as she had.. my cousin was creating miracles for me. I remember the dream very vaguely although I know it was very clear at the time, it’s always like this, what a shame.. One thing I remember clearly is there was a moment my cousin was putting something under my pillow… she seemed to love me very much and did anything for me but by means of this magic. In the dream as I watched the miracles and things created out of nothing etc., I was realizing as if it came from some layer of reality which is real too but which we only not see in wake condition. At the end of the dream I realized this magic was nothing beneficial to me as it made me believe, but on the contrary something very evil, coming from evil source – not the Virgen Mary itself. Then I saw some monitor and realized the buzzing and manipulation was coming from there and was caused by the program. I panicked and ran to my cousin and shouted that it was a bad thing and it was manipulating us, but at the same time I felt I was losing my energy, willpower and ability to think… Then the dream ended.
You will probably not believe me but it was not a normal dream and quite not first of this kind that I had. In these weird dreams there is always this power manipulating me mentally or physically and taking on different forms and creating different situations. I usually have it when I am dieting or loose some weight , but it’s no way hunger hallucinations as for example today I was still far from hungry, only the body is somewhat lighter and clearer from the diet, which is a good thing. Much too good.. making me a suitable medium for evil forces.
You will probably not believe me but it was not a normal dream and quite not first of this kind that I had. In these weird dreams there is always this power manipulating me mentally or physically and taking on different forms and creating different situations. I usually have it when I am dieting or loose some weight , but it’s no way hunger hallucinations as for example today I was still far from hungry, only the body is somewhat lighter and clearer from the diet, which is a good thing. Much too good.. making me a suitable medium for evil forces
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Lostinthemusic
Well-known member
That sounds extremely interesting. You might be interested in checking out research on dreams, I don't know if it will help, but it might. There is a fair amount out there and the connection to dieting could have something to do with it potentially.
Be assured though that most dreams aren't controllable unless you realize you are dreaming while you are still dreaming.
Be assured though that most dreams aren't controllable unless you realize you are dreaming while you are still dreaming.
Dronee
1
horribly alone and unwanted. :
I think it's because of triggers?
just had a strange dream about a guy from my gym,weird he was doing a test while inside a bus and I was talking with him and helping him while not knowing anything,anyway some years ago when I was taking a suplement with zinc to help sleep I would have those really scary nightmares,I sleep with the doors of the kitchen open,I live on the 5th floor and a local cat always managed to came here inside,while I was hafl asleep, half awake, it would scare me a lot and it made those weird noises, I thought it was a person,spirit or alien who came to watch me,one day I was so scared that I tried really hard to react that I ended up waking up and saw it was a cat,and the noise was him searching the garbage ,that is right on the line of sight of my bed.......
on another note I am one month without work because of the earth quake,also all this time there has been earth quakes of around 7.5 in some areas of Japan,weird.
on another note I am one month without work because of the earth quake,also all this time there has been earth quakes of around 7.5 in some areas of Japan,weird.
planemo
Well-known member
Thanks. I guess I'm not alone in feeling alone.
Yes you could be right. That's one of the reasons i hate going to malls and places where people socialize. Seeing all the couples and groups of friends there makes me feel like i'm missing out on something.
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Yes that's true. My isolation is my one and only true shield from harm, but one thing it can't keep away is loneliness.
Lea
Banned
Thanks for taking me seriously, I know I come across like schizophrenic
. It definitely seems to be related to the diet, but not in a bad sense (not any hunger halluciantions), but probably because dieting cleans the body and it receives better the energies... or what it is.. it acts as a conductor. Once when I was very slim, I used to have it almost every other night and it was driving me crazy. I even visited a psychic to help me , which of course she didn't because she apparently had no idea about it. I also have it often by a full moon and sometimes I'm not even sleeping yet and have it.. it feels as if I had taken some psychedelics. Sometimes I can feel the energy of the full moon even before sleeping, and it can even very pleasant, an incredible feeling. I remember once in England I was bathing in it the whole night and it felt as if I had taken something which I didn't.. I would like to know what it really is, these dreams and what is the power which controls me. I know many people will just think it's just a product of the brain but I don't think so... Maybe partly but not completely.. but this cannot be scientifically proved due to it's nature so there is nothing to do about it, but observe and assume..
Lea
Banned
What part of Japan do you live in? Do you feel any effects of the radiation? Did you experience earthquake yourself or are you afraid you might?
Rembrandt Broam
Well-known member
Like I have stuff to do, but don't feel very motivated to do them.
B
Beatrice
Guest
Me toooooo :/
Phoenixx
Well-known member
Finally feeling somewhat calm for once today. First day back to school after Spring Break. I always tend to feel nervous coming back to school after breaks anyway, but today was just really bad. First, I get on my bus, only to discover it's a different bus and a different bus driver. That really sent me into nerves. I mean, the same people were still on it, but it was an unexpected change. I sometimes don't do well with change...
Then I end up having to do a surprise presentation for culinary class first thing this morning. As soon as I heard that I had to do it, I wanted to throw up. I almost had a panic attack, but somehow worked myself out of it. The presentation itself wasn't a total disaster, but I kept stuttering and talking fast and trembling. Even after giving the presentation I just couldn't stop shaking.
So basically I was nervous the entire day, just shaking. My head was even trembling and by the time school was over I had an excruciating headache. Still do and now I'm just exhausted. :: (I apologize for the rant :
Then I end up having to do a surprise presentation for culinary class first thing this morning. As soon as I heard that I had to do it, I wanted to throw up. I almost had a panic attack, but somehow worked myself out of it. The presentation itself wasn't a total disaster, but I kept stuttering and talking fast and trembling. Even after giving the presentation I just couldn't stop shaking.
So basically I was nervous the entire day, just shaking. My head was even trembling and by the time school was over I had an excruciating headache. Still do and now I'm just exhausted. :
: (I apologize for the rant :
Good. I applied for a job that I think I would be good for. I did some yard work, too.
Hey Lea,
maybe you can be reassured by knowing that in dreams we can believe things that may be completely 'irrational' in real life.. some of my dreams have been pretty weird too..
sometimes/usually, it is just the subconscious mind trying to 'work through' things.. and it's usually symbols for things that can be important to you..
some dreams can be really uncomfortable yeah.. sometimes it helps to write them down and try to 'decipher' them or read symbols, yup. Like try to find possible 'hidden meanings' behind the dreams..
Sometimes we might tap into 'collective unconsciousness/subconsciousness' too.. or a movie/series/book before bed can influence the dreams too..
Do tell if you manage to discover anything relevant and helpful!
maybe you can be reassured by knowing that in dreams we can believe things that may be completely 'irrational' in real life.. some of my dreams have been pretty weird too..
sometimes/usually, it is just the subconscious mind trying to 'work through' things.. and it's usually symbols for things that can be important to you..
some dreams can be really uncomfortable yeah.. sometimes it helps to write them down and try to 'decipher' them or read symbols, yup. Like try to find possible 'hidden meanings' behind the dreams..
Sometimes we might tap into 'collective unconsciousness/subconsciousness' too.. or a movie/series/book before bed can influence the dreams too..
Do tell if you manage to discover anything relevant and helpful!