dottie
Well-known member
breaking up hurts so much. first someone is all about you, begging you to hang out, telling you how amazing and beautiful you are, making great promises. relations ensue. then something clicks and they decide you are a disease they cannot get far enough away from.
clearly, when someone initially comes on so strong like that you don't fully trust them. i held my breath and rode the wave to see where it took me. sure enough. slowly, i opened my heart and gave it to someone who:
a. is not so respectable, never let me know the "real" them, and wasn't that serious
b. is respectable and decided me to be repugnant for some reason they did not specify.
neither feels good.
it also does not feel good when someone who was not only your lover, but best friend, drops off the face of the planet. all the things we did the past months were apparently a sham.
the mixed messages at the end... saying that we might still work it out after we have some space, thinking of me, that we should hang out, or use the word "love". way to drag it out.
then they drop off the face of the planet. i get it. they don't want me. they couldn't do a clean cut. that is fine... it just hurts.
and what makes me mad is mySELF. i still think of him. i still have these affections and desire for someone who clearly doesn't want me. that is so pathetic and makes me mad at ME.
is this normal? or obsessive? logically i know i need to move on. so obvious. and i am trying to go out and meet people. but i can't have plans every single day. i am just not that busy of a person. so sometimes i find myself... longing for him. which i HATE to admit.
yeah, people break up every day. it is not the end of the world. maybe i take relationships way too serious.
wow this got long. i have been needing to vent this so bad.
clearly, when someone initially comes on so strong like that you don't fully trust them. i held my breath and rode the wave to see where it took me. sure enough. slowly, i opened my heart and gave it to someone who:
a. is not so respectable, never let me know the "real" them, and wasn't that serious
b. is respectable and decided me to be repugnant for some reason they did not specify.
neither feels good.
it also does not feel good when someone who was not only your lover, but best friend, drops off the face of the planet. all the things we did the past months were apparently a sham.
the mixed messages at the end... saying that we might still work it out after we have some space, thinking of me, that we should hang out, or use the word "love". way to drag it out.
then they drop off the face of the planet. i get it. they don't want me. they couldn't do a clean cut. that is fine... it just hurts.
and what makes me mad is mySELF. i still think of him. i still have these affections and desire for someone who clearly doesn't want me. that is so pathetic and makes me mad at ME.
is this normal? or obsessive? logically i know i need to move on. so obvious. and i am trying to go out and meet people. but i can't have plans every single day. i am just not that busy of a person. so sometimes i find myself... longing for him. which i HATE to admit.
yeah, people break up every day. it is not the end of the world. maybe i take relationships way too serious.
wow this got long. i have been needing to vent this so bad.
