Sinar_Matahari
Well-known member
Today I can see clearly and I feel free.
Rejected again. But should I be surprised? No one really wants to have a damn thing to do with me, not even here. People just feel sorry for me or obligated. There's something about me that turns people away even when I actually try. Something that says "Stay away from this guy.". I'm just tired. Tired of feeling like a monster, like some kind of freak. Being myself doesn't work because my real self is dysfunctional and being something I'm not doesn't work because people see through it. I'm just tired, but sleep wont save me from this. Existence is a joke.
relieved because i have no social obligations today and my phone is off.
KEEP OUT
I feel I love people ...in fact I'd love they loved me but I know it will never happen.I can't start a conversation with smb because I know I'll blush..I have nothing to say:I don't get how causerie works.I feel guilty when someone is kind to me;I have nightmares every night.I can't concentrate on anything.I hate what I've become.I can't get rid of my memories and fears.I know it's going to happen me all again.I'm frightened every second. Life is a living hell.I wish I were always drunk.I dunno what's gonna happen to me...I only wish I disappeared.Srry for my incoherence but I'm a little drunk.Morrow I delete this post for sure.
I'm feeling tired and dysphoric ::
Desperate. Might have to do something I promised I'd never do again. ::
No, greedy is when you do have money and it's still all you can think about. When you don't, it's more like deprived, stressed, and possibly hungry.Greedy. It's funny how, when you don't have it, money is all you can think about. ~,~ </3
Really upset tbh, doesn't help with the sad songs im listening too and i should be sleeping but i can't help thinking about things.
I feel so out of depth with people, even my friends. I just don't believe what anyone says any more and its breaking me apart.
Sorry to hear ... read that(?). Sad songs. Sometimes good, not always.
Switching.
Your signature, you are a dinosaur. You meaning me, us. Not you. Read it many times. Cannot find meaning for it.