Nervous for nothing
Are you a tangled bundle of nerves? Do you get nervous at night as the plain blank ceiling provide too much stimulation for you? Have you a trophy for the world Guiness record for the most chewed fingernails?
Then have we got an offer you can't say no to! Introducing the Amazing Dr Dronee's Pointlessly Droning And Boring Boredom All-In-One System! You'll get the powerful Main Neuron Inhibitor (tm). This amazing device works by forcing you to listen to the rhythmic hypnotic sound of Professor Madder's lecture on Calculus Terminus in the language of Pig Latin and Maths.
If your neurons do not go terminally silent and your face is still stubbornly refusing to be relaxed, then the drastically efficient Synapse Filler will certainly get the job done! Let's listen to a portion of this incredible soundtrack...
"Those frustrating banana peels... Have you ever had those days when the banana peel simply refuse to come off? Well, Dr BananaSama (Lord of Bananas in Japanese) is here to provide the answers to life's most perplexing problems! Dr Banana, if you please... Thank you Vanessa. First, you grab the banana firmly in your off-hand... then you.."
Order now and we'll slash the price to USD 99.99 and include the five year warranty... And there's no need to worry whatsoever with our one year no questions asked money-back-guarantee! In fact, almost none of our customers have had any questions or contacted us whatsoever! That's how satisfied they are! So don't hesitate. Order now! You won't regret it for the rest of your life!