How are you feeling?

[Graeme1988]

r there any positives about your family that you could say about them? I was just wondering cuz no family is perfect. I can say very nice stuff about my family and bad stuff but I understand the need to vent about the bad stuff.

Yeah, except the middle sibling. I can't really think of anything positive to say about her, as we never got along when we were younger. She pretty much resented my existence. Not exactly helped by the contempt and lack o' respect she treated me with during my adolescence.

Anyway, positive about my family. My mum's probably the funniest, as far as sense of humour goes. She can always make me laugh. She's a good, kind-hearted and well-meaning. Is always willing to help where and when she can. She puts others needs ahead of her own at times. That's probably where I get my need to people please from? My mum pretty much shaped my taste in music since I was 12 years old.

She's also an avid football fan and a great cook.

The oldest sister is similar in terms of the sense of humour. Though, more like me in terms of making wordplay jokes. And she's got a damn near encyclopedic knowledge of mid-to-late 1970 and early 1980s electronic music.

She helps both my mother and I out, financially. If either of us need help to afford something. Like, how my oldest sister is always happy to either go halves on or give me money towards a new guitar or piece of guitar-related gear, if we happen to end up discussing that while talking about music.

My cousins are great, and a good laugh. As are my nieces.

Maybe a family counselling would be helpful like since your mom is going to counselling services, I thought your whole family could go?

Ooh... I can't see that going well. Neither of my sisters seems to take my criticism of them particularly well. I mean, last time I attempted to make middle sibling realise how she was coming across to the rest of us. She cursed me out, then accused me of being "overly dramatic" for saying that it was a wonder that I hadn't taken my own life, given the sheer amount of stressful drama I have to deluded myself into thinking is normal.

And when I tried to make a similar point to my oldest sister, she broke down in tears and stormed out the house. Though there's a few years between both those incidents.

I hope you fix your laptop problem, Graeme.

Thanks. I did manage to fix my laptop. It turned out to be an issue with the 3rd party internet security I had installed. So, I've uninstalled it, and am now just using the pre-installed security that my laptop came with when I bought. The problem I had seems to now be resolved.

 

[Graeme1988]

Ugh! My sleep patterns have been all over the place, lately. My mum says she's been similar, not really sleeping at night because she just can't get to sleep for whatever reason.

It's now nearly half past 6 in morning where I am, and am still wide awake.

 

[lily]

Yeah, except the middle sibling. I can't really think of anything positive to say about her, as we never got along when we were younger. She pretty much resented my existence. Not exactly helped by the contempt and lack o' respect she treated me with during my adolescence.

Anyway, positive about my family. My mum's probably the funniest, as far as sense of humour goes. She can always make me laugh. She's a good, kind-hearted and well-meaning. Is always willing to help where and when she can. She puts others needs ahead of her own at times. That's probably where I get my need to people please from? My mum pretty much shaped my taste in music since I was 12 years old.

She's also an avid football fan and a great cook.

The oldest sister is similar in terms of the sense of humour. Though, more like me in terms of making wordplay jokes. And she's got a damn near encyclopedic knowledge of mid-to-late 1970 and early 1980s electronic music.

She helps both my mother and I out, financially. If either of us need help to afford something. Like, how my oldest sister is always happy to either go halves on or give me money towards a new guitar or piece of guitar-related gear, if we happen to end up discussing that while talking about music.

My cousins are great, and a good laugh. As are my nieces.

Ooh... I can't see that going well. Neither of my sisters seems to take my criticism of them particularly well. I mean, last time I attempted to make middle sibling realise how she was coming across to the rest of us. She cursed me out, then accused me of being "overly dramatic" for saying that it was a wonder that I hadn't taken my own life, given the sheer amount of stressful drama I have to deluded myself into thinking is normal.

And when I tried to make a similar point to my oldest sister, she broke down in tears and stormed out the house. Though there's a few years between both those incidents.

Thanks. I did manage to fix my laptop. It turned out to be an issue with the 3rd party internet security I had installed. So, I've uninstalled it, and am now just using the pre-installed security that my laptop came with when I bought. The problem I had seems to now be resolved.

I'm so sorry to hear about your middle sibling, that you never got along. r u sure you never got along at all? Why do you think she resented your existence? Sorry to hear about the lack of respect she treated you with during your adoloscence, so it got better in your adulthood?
I'm glad about your mom, hehe. And your oldest sister. God bless you! God can move mountains. I'll pray for you.

 

[Graeme1988]

I'm so sorry to hear about your middle sibling, that you never got along. r u sure you never got along at all?

Pretty much, I mean I have more memories of us always arguing more than getting along.

Why do you think she resented your existence?

Probably because our mum had to care for me a lot when I was younger due to my cerebral palsy. Though, my mum still did more for her than she did for me growing up. I mean, in that she'd come running whenever my sister needed anything, whereas I was less a priority.

Sorry to hear about the lack of respect she treated you with during your adoloscence, so it got better in your adulthood?

Kind of... but only because I tended to ignore the snide remarks than react to them by saying sarcastic something back in response. Or, if I did react, it was usual with an indifferent "Huh!", like I was just laughing it off.

I'm glad about your mom, hehe. And your oldest sister. God bless you! God can move mountains. I'll pray for you.

Thanks, lily.

 

[Graeme1988]

How am I feeling? Not as tired as I should considering I didn't get much sleep and was up by 11 o'clock this morning.

Up late last night as my mum and I watched the UEFA Champions League final last night - we stopped paying for BT Sport as part of our Sky Digital TV subscription. Luckily though, I found just happened to find that BT Sports was going to live-stream the match via their YouTube channel. So, at least, we got to watch one football match together. Otherwise, we'd have had a pretty boring Saturday.

It was a decent game, and Real Madrid was the better team, overall.

 

[PugofCrydee]

Like a shadow of who I used to be.
My mother has finally passed.. I say finally because, god those final weeks were just awful. She was in so much pain. I got to say goodbye at least. I cried so much when I said goodbye for the last time.. I kissed her forehead many times.. as the tears streamed down my face, I ran my fingers through her hair and through my sobbing I told her it was ok to go when she wanted to. I told her she had done her job, that she was a good mum and that all us kids would be ok. As I let go of her hand for the final time, I left her side and headed to the door. I looked back at her one last time as I was about to leave the room and she had her eyes open, looking over at me. I went back to her and said 'I love you Mum', kissing her forehead, holding her hand.. she was unconscious again. I knew she'd heard me though. I kissed her forehead a few more times, my cheek against her hair.. and I left.

It's not right to force someone to have to endure terminal illness like that. Archaic laws need to be changed so people have the choice to die with dignity. I'm glad I live in a country where that tide is turning. When you see someone you love go through that...

 

[Graeme1988]

Sorry to hear that your mum passed away, Pug.

 

[lily]

I don't feel in a good place right now but I'm still going to do things my way. Things will get better hopefully.

 

[Graeme1988]

I don't feel in a good place right now but I'm still going to do things my way. Things will get better hopefully.

Sorry that you're feeling that way at the moment, lily. It's good that you're still going to do things your way, though. It's something positive, at least. Anyway, things will get better, just give it time. We all have good n' bad days.

 

[Graeme1988]

How am I feeling? Eh, currently dealing with negative thoughts in relation to my abilities as a guitar player and songwriting. Because I think I'm rubbish at the guitar and suck at songwriting. What's brought this on? The fact I've been attempting to teach my oldest sister how to play the bass for the last few months, and we're getting nowhere with it. She's no makin' any progress n' am going: "How is this not working? Is it me? Do I suck?"

 

[lily]

Sorry that you're feeling that way at the moment, lily. It's good that you're still going to do things your way, though. It's something positive, at least. Anyway, things will get better, just give it time. We all have good n' bad days.

Thanks Graeme! I've been worried about myself lately. it's a long story so I won't start. So yeah, I hope things work out w/ me. I'm not talking about suicide. I've never been suicidal. Thanks again!

How am I feeling? Eh, currently dealing with negative thoughts in relation to my abilities as a guitar player and songwriting. Because I think I'm rubbish at the guitar and suck at songwriting. What's brought this on? The fact I've been attempting to teach my oldest sister how to play the bass for the last few months, and we're getting nowhere with it. She's no makin' any progress n' am going: "How is this not working? Is it me? Do I suck?"

Graeme, I remember you saying you had great ratings on your songwriting so I think that just because you can't teach it, it doesn't mean that you, youself, are bad at it at all! I think you're great!

 

[Phoenixx]

Like a shadow of who I used to be.
My mother has finally passed.. I say finally because, god those final weeks were just awful. She was in so much pain. I got to say goodbye at least. I cried so much when I said goodbye for the last time.. I kissed her forehead many times.. as the tears streamed down my face, I ran my fingers through her hair and through my sobbing I told her it was ok to go when she wanted to. I told her she had done her job, that she was a good mum and that all us kids would be ok. As I let go of her hand for the final time, I left her side and headed to the door. I looked back at her one last time as I was about to leave the room and she had her eyes open, looking over at me. I went back to her and said 'I love you Mum', kissing her forehead, holding her hand.. she was unconscious again. I knew she'd heard me though. I kissed her forehead a few more times, my cheek against her hair.. and I left.

It's not right to force someone to have to endure terminal illness like that. Archaic laws need to be changed so people have the choice to die with dignity. I'm glad I live in a country where that tide is turning. When you see someone you love go through that...

I am so sorry for your loss, Pug. I can't imagine how painful it is to see a relative go through all that, for them to go through all of that either. I'm glad she is no longer suffering though and she's finally at peace. I hope you're holding up okay. Sending you lots of hugs.

 

[PugofCrydee]

Sorry to hear that your mum passed away, Pug.

I am so sorry for your loss, Pug. I can't imagine how painful it is to see a relative go through all that, for them to go through all of that either. I'm glad she is no longer suffering though and she's finally at peace. I hope you're holding up okay. Sending you lots of hugs.

Thanks guys, much appreciated

 

[Graeme1988]

Thanks Graeme! I've been worried about myself lately. it's a long story so I won't start. So yeah, I hope things work out w/ me. I'm not talking about suicide. I've never been suicidal. Thanks again!

Oh, okay. I hope you feel better soon, nonetheless.

Graeme, I remember you saying you had great ratings on your songwriting so I think that just because you can't teach it, it doesn't mean that you, youself, are bad at it at all!

Yeah, I get where you're coming from. I guess just let my frustration with teaching my sister how to play the bass guitar bleed into my songwriting and guitar playing abilities. Though, she's the one who insisted upon it being me who teach her – because "...playing the guitar comes naturally to me" (her words). Words she repeated to me yesterday. And I must admit, it was difficult for me play the old "Och! Am no that good", humble routine – or put myself down – like ah usually do. Because there was nothing to disagree with. So, ah just let oot a wee "Ha!" laugh and smirked in response. Thinking back to the amount progress I'd made at playing the guitar from age 14 to 16. Then just teaching myself from the age of 16 onwards.

I don't know... it's not like I'm getting overly complicated as far as guitar terminology and demonstrating what I'm talking about. I'll see how things goes this week; I might actually have a talk with my sister about the bass. Not to talk her out of learning it, but just to make her realise that she's likely picked bass more out of convenience – 4 strings, simplier riffs for most part – without thinking about that instruments purpose in the context of a song. As well as, hopefully, making songe less daunting for her to learn by breaking them into sections and going bit by bit.

And... my other sister – the middle one – wants to learn the acoustic guitar. Or so she told me. She hasn't said anything beyond that. Though, I think she'll most likely want me to teach her. And I'm dreading that to be honest. Mainly because I don't know know if she has the patience for it; based off past incidents where her reaction to things being stressful is to shout n' swear. Not that that's uncalled for, it's just: if that's the initial reaction early on, then it could mean it's unlikely she's persist passed the early frustrations and practice until she can play a few chords or master a certain guitar technique.

Plus, I imagine she'll take my words negatively and tell me to eff off when I point that wanting to learn the guitar is completely from actually learn it.

I think you're great!

Aw, thank you.

 

[Phoenixx]

Like a pile of garbage. I'm trying to get rid of this cold, but it still wants to hang on. It's frustrating because all I want to do is lay around and sleep. But it's so nice outside I feel like I should be doing more. Ugh, I just need to rest.

Hasn't helped that work has been an absolute crapshow this week. Because of equipment issues elsewhere in the plant I was sent home early yesterday. Only got halfway through my shift and was told I could leave, not that I had much to do anyways. Glad I'm in my own little lab on the other end of the plant for the next 5 days. I don't want to deal with anyone or anything.

 

[lily]

Oh, okay. I hope you feel better soon, nonetheless.

Yeah, I get where you're coming from. I guess just let my frustration with teaching my sister how to play the bass guitar bleed into my songwriting and guitar playing abilities. Though, she's the one who insisted upon it being me who teach her – because "...playing the guitar comes naturally to me" (her words). Words she repeated to me yesterday. And I must admit, it was difficult for me play the old "Och! Am no that good", humble routine – or put myself down – like ah usually do. Because there was nothing to disagree with. So, ah just let oot a wee "Ha!" laugh and smirked in response. Thinking back to the amount progress I'd made at playing the guitar from age 14 to 16. Then just teaching myself from the age of 16 onwards.

I don't know... it's not like I'm getting overly complicated as far as guitar terminology and demonstrating what I'm talking about. I'll see how things goes this week; I might actually have a talk with my sister about the bass. Not to talk her out of learning it, but just to make her realise that she's likely picked bass more out of convenience – 4 strings, simplier riffs for most part – without thinking about that instruments purpose in the context of a song. As well as, hopefully, making songe less daunting for her to learn by breaking them into sections and going bit by bit.

And... my other sister – the middle one – wants to learn the acoustic guitar. Or so she told me. She hasn't said anything beyond that. Though, I think she'll most likely want me to teach her. And I'm dreading that to be honest. Mainly because I don't know know if she has the patience for it; based off past incidents where her reaction to things being stressful is to shout n' swear. Not that that's uncalled for, it's just: if that's the initial reaction early on, then it could mean it's unlikely she's persist passed the early frustrations and practice until she can play a few chords or master a certain guitar technique.

Plus, I imagine she'll take my words negatively and tell me to eff off when I point that wanting to learn the guitar is completely from actually learn it.

Aw, thank you.

Thank you Graeme, I hope things go well for us. Try not to get frustrated, if it goes well, that's great! but if it doesn't, you tried your best sort of thing. You're welcome!

 

[PugofCrydee]

Like a pile of garbage. I'm trying to get rid of this cold, but it still wants to hang on. It's frustrating because all I want to do is lay around and sleep. But it's so nice outside I feel like I should be doing more. Ugh, I just need to rest.

Hasn't helped that work has been an absolute crapshow this week. Because of equipment issues elsewhere in the plant I was sent home early yesterday. Only got halfway through my shift and was told I could leave, not that I had much to do anyways. Glad I'm in my own little lab on the other end of the plant for the next 5 days. I don't want to deal with anyone or anything.

I don't know if you're aware of it or have tried it but, whenever I get a cold or feel one coming on I get some fresh garlic cloves and swallow them whole (peeled of course lol). I swallow 2-3 for 2-3 days in a row.
I was sceptical at first but tried it. Now, it's something I do as it seems to really help. Yes, I smell like garlic for a couple of days but I'd rather that than feeling like crap for a week.

Hope you feel better soon Phoenixx

 

[Graeme1988]

Had a bit of scare today that really shook me... my mum fell as she was coming upstairs to my room this morning. I was awake and just about to change out of my pyjamas when it happened.

The thud of her falling and not getting an initial response when I shouted on her really made me panic and race to make sure she was okay. Which she was, thankfully. Even though I asked like 3 times before I was convinced that she hadn't broken or dislocated anything.

 

[lily]

Had a bit of scare today that really shook me... my mum fell as she was coming upstairs to my room this morning. I was awake and just about to change out of my pyjamas when it happened.

The thud of her falling and not getting an initial response when I shouted on her really made me panic and race to make sure she was okay. Which she was, thankfully. Even though I asked like 3 times before I was convinced that she hadn't broken or dislocated anything.

aw, I'm glad your mom is ok!

 

[lily]

I'm feeling bored. No friends to talk to so far. I went out last week and then I wasn't feeling well. Now I have another appointment coming up and I don't want to be late for it. Hopefully I will be feeling ok so I can go to my walk this week since last week wasn't good for me. I miss it.