How are you feeling?

Depressed. Unmotivated. Struggling with writer's block.
Y'know... business as usual.

Also, with everything going on in world right now, it's made me stick to my decision to not sitting at the dinner table this Christmas.

Let's just say, my older siblings and I aren't exactly seeing things the same way when it comes Black Lives Matter. And I'll leave it at that... cuz ah don't want to elaborate any further on that at the moment.
 
Honestly, am f__kin' bored ! That's how bad it is. Tired and pissed off, just the whole COVID-19 situation. I hate that I'm stuck in the house, plus ah can't really be getting on with things. Plenty to distract myself with, though, but ah really want to clear out an old, broken bookcase in my room. Which was something I was close to get done, when the lockdown came into affect.
 

Phoenixx

Well-known member
There's nothing more demoralizing than trying really hard to sell yourself day after day only to have nobody buy it. I remember that feeling well. Really hits you in the self-esteem. I doubt the COVID-19 thing is helping the situation either.
No it's not. I'm so beyond frustrated. Frustrated with this whole year honestly. I don't even know what to do to get back on my feet. I have ideas, but what if they don't work? I'm tired of trying only to continuously fail again and again. Makes me wonder, why even bother?
 

theoutsider

Well-known member
A little bummed but optimistic. Honestly, I feel that after 3.5 years of bliss on the job, the arseholes have finally caught up to me. I saw it coming starting about six months ago. A new division has taken over the oversight of my department and they've been unnecessarily overbearing. I, of course, have had the ring leader assigned to me (yay). It seems by some of her actions she's trying to provoke me into a confrontation that I most likely couldn't win since they're in charge of us. About a year ago, I adopted an attitude of not letting the small things get to me. So far, I've been winning this particular contest. I just hope I don't find myself getting drawn into a silly grudge match. Hanging in there!
 

Phoenixx

Well-known member
Still feeling shitty. Had kind of a good day yesterday even though I spent half the day still in a horrible mood. I want to talk to my therapist, but I just saw her a little over a week ago. I was doing well, she even asked me if I wanted to continue sessions (which I said yes, because I was afraid of falling backwards without them) then one thing basically caused me to have a complete mental meltdown. Guess I wasn't doing as well as I thought. Things with my family currently are not helping either. Today was a reminder that I think I need to separate myself again and not bother to contact anyone for a while unless I absolutely need something.
 
Not great. Have a trip planned for next month but now corona is coming back. I REALLY need to get out of here.
Ah know the feeling, man. I went and booked my weekend trip to Edinburgh late last year for this summer. Not sure if I'll even get going now.
The lockdown restrictions have been eased, slightly, here in Scotland. But we're not allowed to go more than 5 miles from our homes. Which does sod all for me, since the next nearest town in my area is 12 miles away.
 
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