How are you feeling?

[FountainandFairfax]

hope things settle down over there FountainandFairfax!

It's looking better, lily.

 

[Sarah_M]

Trying to remain calm, but I am ****ing scared. I don't want to be sick again.

 

[Graeme1988]

Like I should give up, and accept that my family are just unwilling to change for the better. :sad: But hey, they're feminists of the bat-$h!t crazy variety. More unhinged than a swinging gate. Those kinda women don't exactly make family life easy, when the slightest criticism turn them into The Incredible Sulk.

I also find it ironic how they say I'm stuck in a rut. Yet, I've rarely complained as much as they have about being sick of this and fed-up. Also, it's kinda difficult simply leaving the house when my mother is unable to be stay in the house by herself. Why? :idontknow:

 

[Sarah_M]

you can drink lots of water and rest

Thank you, Lily. It's not that kind of sick, though. My white blood cell count is off and I am afraid of having something serious like leukemia or something.

 

[BlueDays]

Thank you, Lily. It's not that kind of sick, though. My white blood cell count is off and I am afraid of having something serious like leukemia or something.

Oh dear! :sad: Well don't worry just yet, it might be because of something that is easily fixed etc.
When do you find out why that is happening?

 

[Sarah_M]

Oh dear! :sad: Well don't worry just yet, it might be because of something that is easily fixed etc.
When do you find out why that is happening?

I am scheduled to go over them on the 26th, but I have a mandatory work meeting that day, so I probably need to reschedule. I just need to figure it out.

Thanks, Blue - I'm sure I will be okay.

 

[Psychedelicious]

Anhedonia

Lately, on a daily basis I feel like I'e just been experiencing anhedonia at its finest, and I don't know how much longer I can ****ing take it. I can't find pleasure in anything.

 

[Graeme1988]

Lately I’ve felt more tired and stressed than usual. Struggling to get by with disability benefit payments now being paid into my bank at the end of month. Pretty much surviving on porridge, sandwiches and microwave meals.

My mother not being doing too well in terms of her health. :sad: But, as usual - and as my oldest sister like to remind me -the responsibility for that is on me. The disabled son. Not the person struggling with said health problems. No, no - that’d make too much f…ckin’ sense ye see ! :kickingmyself:

But if I even dare to suggest something as simple as using my pedal exerciser, or getting rid of the drawers full of junk food in the kitchen, I’m just being a nag. h: :thumbdown:

It’s all well n good saying you’ll change, actually doing it is the proof.

 

[Graeme1988]

I feel like I haven't given myself much rest lately. Been bed-ridden these past few days, trying to get rid of this really bad flu. :kickingmyself:

 

[Graeme1988]

hope you feel better. drink lots of water.

Thanks, lily. :thumbup: I've been doing that, as well as taking some cough medicine regularly. Feeling a wee bit better today, the cough isn't as bad, but I'm still blocked up.

I've changed my routine. have now gone to sleep earlier and wake up early.

This has been my routine for the past year, and I kinda hate it. Mainly because when I go to bed I'm not actually tired enough to feel the benefits of getting up early.

 

[Graeme1988]

if you sleep earlier you'll wake up earlier.. that doesn't happen with you? :question:

It does, I just tend to wake up at like the crack of dawn (half past 5 or 6 o'clock in the morning). :bigsmile:

I'm still in the routine of last year, when my older sister and her kids were staying with my mother and I. Where we'd all be in bed by 8 pm, an hour after my sister put her kids to bed. Whereas, before that, I'd usually be getting ready for bed after 8 o'clock, then be in bed by 10 pm. In between that time I'd usually be finishing up a song I'd just made that day, or make a start on a new song so I had something to occupy my time the next day, if I was feeling bored.

 

[Graeme1988]

Ok it's a bit early but it can be good if you slept at 10pm and then woke up at 6am. Then that's a good time to eat breakfast and then exercise a bit.

It is. Might actually do that - in bed by 10pm, get up at 7am - once I get back to my usual routine. :thumbup:

I feel so bored today I forgot to get something done today if that were even helpful!

What did you forget to do ?

 

[BlueDays]

I feel like the captain of a sailing ship out in the middle of nowhere, on the deep, shark infested ocean - in the middle of the 19th Century.
The compass has been accidentally broken, and it is overcast and raining, due to it being the monsoon season, so there is no way to get my bearings.

The crew are depending on me for their survival, so I can't just jump overboard and be done with it.
I have to slowly starve to death, while waiting for the small possibility that the monsoon will pass soon. :sad:

 

[PugofCrydee]

I feel like the captain of a sailing ship out in the middle of nowhere, on the deep, shark infested ocean - in the middle of the 19th Century.
The compass has been accidentally broken, and it is overcast and raining, due to it being the monsoon season, so there is no way to get my bearings.

The crew are depending on me for their survival, so I can't just jump overboard and be done with it.
I have to slowly starve to death, while waiting for the small possibility that the monsoon will pass soon. :sad:

This post would have fitted in perfectly in my old thread 'How does your depression feel metaphorically'. I love your use of words to describe it.

 

[Sarah_M]

I guess I'll just take the silence as a sign you never want to speak to me again. I didn't realize how full your life actually was - perhaps there was never any room for me in it to begin with. I'm mad at myself for pushing too much because you were trying to do it right. We could have been something.

 

[DeadmanWalking]

I guess I'll just take the silence as a sign you never want to speak to me again. I didn't realize how full your life actually was - perhaps there was never any room for me in it to begin with. I'm mad at myself for pushing too much because you were trying to do it right. We could have been something.

Silence? How long has it been going on, Sarah? If it's about the guy you've spoken about on here, then I'd just want to make sure that he may be busy with something or going through something before giving up on him.

 

[BlueDays]

Silence? How long has it been going on, Sarah? If it's about the guy you've spoken about on here, then I'd just want to make sure that he may be busy with something or going through something before giving up on him.

I agree with DeadmanWalking, you need to do some investigating first.
"Silence" from someone, can mean a multitude of different things, Sarah. Don't give up yet, dear girl!

 

[Sarah_M]

Deadman Walking and Blue, thank you both very much for responding/the encouragement. You guys are too good for me here - I don't even deserve you.

It's a different guy. We're corresponding online. He is an extremely busy person and I didn't realize just how busy until the other night. I got needy. I wanted more attention and got frustrated. He got mad and said he had to "re-think" things. He hasn't spoken to me since or responded to the message I sent. As much as we clicked and I really like him, if me wanting more attention is going to elicit THAT much of a negative response, then I don't know if he's they type of guy I want in my life anyway. And if you REALLY like someone, you wouldn't just disappear. It sucks, but I guess he wasn't meant to stay in my life.

 

[BlueDays]

Deadman Walking and Blue, thank you both very much for responding/the encouragement. You guys are too good for me here - I don't even deserve you.

It's a different guy. We're corresponding online. He is an extremely busy person and I didn't realize just how busy until the other night. I got needy. I wanted more attention and got frustrated. He got mad and said he had to "re-think" things. He hasn't spoken to me since or responded to the message I sent. As much as we clicked and I really like him, if me wanting more attention is going to elicit THAT much of a negative response, then I don't know if he's they type of guy I want in my life anyway. And if you REALLY like someone, you wouldn't just disappear. It sucks, but I guess he wasn't meant to stay in my life.

Ahhh. Sorry to hear that has turned out negative for you, Sarah.
Corresponding online with someone is quite a tricky endeavour.
I have recently lost someone I had been corresponding online for 8 1/2 years. I think he may have been married or living a completely different life than what he told me, because he was so secretive.
Anyway, everyone is different, good luck with anyone else you may correspond with online in the future, Sarah. :thumbup:

 

[PugofCrydee]

Deadman Walking and Blue, thank you both very much for responding/the encouragement. You guys are too good for me here - I don't even deserve you.

It's a different guy. We're corresponding online. He is an extremely busy person and I didn't realize just how busy until the other night. I got needy. I wanted more attention and got frustrated. He got mad and said he had to "re-think" things. He hasn't spoken to me since or responded to the message I sent. As much as we clicked and I really like him, if me wanting more attention is going to elicit THAT much of a negative response, then I don't know if he's they type of guy I want in my life anyway. And if you REALLY like someone, you wouldn't just disappear. It sucks, but I guess he wasn't meant to stay in my life.

Actually, it's that he doesn't deserve you Sarah.


But I do. I came back in time for you, Sarah.