How are you feeling?

:sad: I don't know what'd I do. The only thing I can possibly think of doing myself would be to make me staying at home the worst scenario and make leaving look good by comparison. I don't know how I would do anything like it though, I'm not into making people suffer. I hate seeing good people in bad situations like you seem to be in.
That'd be me, right enough. The good son / brother... well, until I open ma gob n' speak my mind. Then it's a different story...

But, aye, that's been my life for the past 15 years. :sad: Compromise and sacrificing my own time n' happiness for others. Without so much as a thank you or returning the favour. But I'm lying, apparently, when I speak of how difficult it's been for me having to fend for myself and bare sole responsibility of care for the mother who raised me, cuz she's too lazy to keep the house tidy when I around. Despite me telling her time n' again that I'm not there to pick up after her.

She's think I've gave up caring, but that's not true. I just can be bothered making the effort to motivate her anymore, when she'd rather lie on the living room couch and complain - ironically - about why she never get things done. :kickingmyself:

Don't get me wrong, leaving would be f*ckin' brilliant! For the peace n' quiet, if nuthin' else. Ah just don't want to be the yin who gets blamed if my mother follows through on her threat to kill herself, y'know? And she didnae take to kindly to mocking her for it, by saying I'd talk her into it if she felt so strongly about it - make it an assisted suicide.

I guess taking a place of my own will have to be done without my mother's knowledge, then? As I know I can't carrying with the way things have been.
 
Iv been walking so much on this treadmill . So glad I bought this thing. Takes up alot of space though. I just hope I can REALLY get my body fat percentage down to at least 5%. My metabolism used to be so fast back in my late teens and up till I was about 20. Its not so easy staying in shape these days and im not even 30 yet.

I think I might have to find a good all-encompassing weight lifting routine to really work every muscle . That might be the only way I can get my metabolism back. I used to be chiseled.
 
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lily

Well-known member
Iv been walking so much on this treadmill . So glad I bought this thing. Takes up alot of space though. I just hope I can REALLY get my body fit percentage down to at least 5%. My metabolism used to be so fast back in my late teens and up till I was about 20. Its not so easy staying in shape these days and im not even 30 yet.

I think I might have to find a good all-encompassing weight lifting routine to really work every muscle . That might be the only way I can get my metabolism back. I used to be chiseled.
you're so lucky to have a treadmill in your own home. i wish i had one so that i can use up more time. I'm bored! i hate saying that. Can anyone post sth or say sth it's so quiet
 
you're so lucky to have a treadmill in your own home. i wish i had one
Well maybe you CAN eventually. Hard work pays off but also, if you put yourself in the right place at the right time new opportunities come up.


Sometimes I just find the right place and then WAIT. lol (i.e. investing)


Stay positive, Jinxed! : )
 

lily

Well-known member
Well maybe you CAN eventually. Hard work pays off but also, if you put yourself in the right place at the right time new opportunities come up.


Sometimes I just find the right place and then WAIT. lol (i.e. investing)


Stay positive, Jinxed! : )
That's true, thank you but i meant it can't fit into my house unless i get rid of something perhaps but i don't want to and it's probably really expensive too
 
Iv been walking so much on this treadmill . So glad I bought this thing. Takes up alot of space though. I just hope I can REALLY get my body fat percentage down to at least 5%. My metabolism used to be so fast back in my late teens and up till I was about 20. Its not so easy staying in shape these days and im not even 30 yet.

I think I might have to find a good all-encompassing weight lifting routine to really work every muscle . That might be the only way I can get my metabolism back. I used to be chiseled.
Do you eat breakfast when you wake up in the morning? When I started consistently doing that my metabolism improved. One of those things I read online that turned out to be true :thumbup:
 
Not doing too well... been thinking about suicide a fair bit. :sad: Since I've lost all hope that things are going to get better, and the emotional blackmail won't cease. :crying:

And those few hours where ah completely forget the $h!**y life I've been burden with, those are so few they're almost nonexistent. Oh, and I've came to the conclusion that most people are c*nts who only care about ye when it suits them, or if the situation calls for it.
 

lily

Well-known member
Not doing too well... been thinking about suicide a fair bit. :sad: Since I've lost all hope that things are going to get better, and the emotional blackmail won't cease. :crying:

And those few hours where ah completely forget the $h!**y life I've been burden with, those are so few they're almost nonexistent. Oh, and I've came to the conclusion that most people are c*nts who only care about ye when it suits them, or if the situation calls for it.
i really think that the best thing to do is to move out. right now, you're in a stuck situation but you can't stay that way. you can't control others but you can control which road you're going to take and that shouldn't be stuck where you r. Hope that helps i know it's hard
 

lily

Well-known member
Not doing too well... been thinking about suicide a fair bit. :sad: Since I've lost all hope that things are going to get better, and the emotional blackmail won't cease. :crying:

And those few hours where ah completely forget the $h!**y life I've been burden with, those are so few they're almost nonexistent. Oh, and I've came to the conclusion that most people are c*nts who only care about ye when it suits them, or if the situation calls for it.
i understand you
 
i understand you
Thank you. :sad:

i really think that the best thing to do is to move out. right now, you're in a stuck situation but you can't stay that way. you can't control others but you can control which road you're going to take and that shouldn't be stuck where you r. Hope that helps i know it's hard
It's help a wee bit. But every time ah breach that subject, my mother become a manipulative hag, and my oldest sister tells me ah shouldn't have to move out. Despite me frustratingly saying: "Well, what choose do ah huv? I'm miserable. Haven't had a day's peace in God knows how long..."

And me saying how I've felt since this whole family drama started just get this weak, limp-wristed response of "Ah know, but whit cun ye do?" :eek:mg: :kickingmyself:

But who cares if I'm right, huh? Or that I foresaw this fiasco back in July last year. Or how I'm the one putting with this, cuz every time there's a massive argument, I'm left dealing with the aftermath. Being lumped in with the other two fem-tard f*ckwits. But naw! The wimmin in ma family don't like huvin their feelings hurt. Oh, but berating me n' calling me every name under the sun? Well, to quote my mother: "...that's different" :thumbdown:

I mean I am contemplating packing up n' leaving as soon an offer for an accessible house comes my way? But I know for a fact, I won't be leaving on good terms with either my mother or sisters when that day comes.
 
Another day, another feckin' argument !! :crying:

AH'VE F*CKIN' HUD ENFF !! :kickingmyself: :veryangry:

I'm just gonnae move oot. First place offered tae me, I'm gone. That's it. No contact with Mum for 6 months to 2 years. Older sister outta ma life for good. And the oldest, I'll keep in touch with, since she can help me with my independent living thanks to the support works she does with other vulnerable people.
 
Been doing some real "minging" farts this morning with breakfast. Must try to think of what i ate last night ... and repeat it :giggle:

How do you like that flies? A nice minging pong for you'all :thumbup:. I bet it smells like a feast in every nook & cranny! Might be tricky to pinpoint the exact location of this "food", hehe. ENJOY flies, my friends, ENJOY..... :bigsmile:

The smell "takes me away" to a time & place long, long ago .. a fanciful idealistic place.....
 
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Bad day .. head-/mood-wise (fine day weather-wise).
A bit over 3hrs ago, i wrote down "i feel its gonna be a bad day", and i was right. :sad:
It's a "joke of a day". I can only laugh ... and snack on chocolate easter eggs & lollies & fizzy drink & crisps ... and play heavy metal ... and get sozzled on booze.
A number of problems are attacking me all at once, on the same day. That makes it very hard to get anything done, or to have a good mood. :thumbdown:
But the good news is that it gives me an opportunity to get pissed & listen to metal music i haven't listened to in quite a while, which is kicking-as$, so having a bad day is not ALL bad. :thumbup:

Iah!!! :perfect:
 
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