How are you feeling?

[theslowesthand]

Yeah agreed. So maybe we are just stuck in this cycle of destruction and that might imply that we are only fooling ourselves thinking that it will change. I like to think one day we can exchange this destructive cycle for a happier one. Time will tell I suppose.

Yeah, according to this theory, we're in the "down" or "negative" part of the cycle (which is somewhat like a sine wave). Personally, i've been in the down part since about 2012. I think it's time i was in the positive. Thing is, it seems like i've been in the negative my whole life - maybe my whole life is one giant negative part of the cycle. :question:

 

[defiance]

Yeah, according to this theory, we're in the "down" or "negative" part of the cycle (which is somewhat like a sine wave). Personally, i've been in the down part since about 2012. I think it's time i was in the positive. Thing is, it seems like i've been in the negative my whole life - maybe my whole life is one giant negative part of the cycle. :question:

Interesting. So if I am understanding you correctly you are implying that the cycle you are caught up in only has a single theme. In other words it's just a negative cycle and only a negative cycle. Most of the time I feel the same way. But, as hard as this truly is for me, I have been trying to tell myself the big upswing is right around the corner. I can only hope that the same happens to you so we can FINALLY get some relief and maybe JUST MAYBE.....enjoy this phenomena called life just a little bit.

 

[AtTheGates]

feeling alright (and I mean a Bob Marley kind of "alright"....WITHOUT the weed though..lol)

I turned in my uniforms this afternoon. I wanted to hang onto them just in case I want to come back as a correctional officer III but apparently all officers have to turn in their uniforms upon resignation for security reasons . which makes sense I guess. All in all though, for anyone who's ever heard the phrase "its a thankless job", that description fits correctional officers to a T.

anyway on another note, my college classes are SO easy so far that i wish i'd registered for MORE this semester.

this evening I submitted an essay we had to write about the legal age of criminal responsibility and how the juvenile justice system focuses more on rehabilitation. The essay is way too long to post here but this is one of the examples I used of what proper rehabilitation can do for a child .

Beth Thomas was severely abused as a child but with extensive therapy she was rehabilitated. although there were many times where her mother had to literally lock her in her room. Sometimes locking someone up is the best thing for them but how you treat them while they are locked up is equally as important if not MORE so.

someone easily could have said "forget about this kid. She's not worth it." and tbh, there are some guys at the prison I worked at who that probably happened to....and look where they ended up.


Beth Thomas: Psychopathic girl from ‘Child of Rage’ documentary now a child therapist

 

[theslowesthand]

Interesting. So if I am understanding you correctly you are implying that the cycle you are caught up in only has a single theme. In other words it's just a negative cycle and only a negative cycle. Most of the time I feel the same way. But, as hard as this truly is for me, I have been trying to tell myself the big upswing is right around the corner. I can only hope that the same happens to you so we can FINALLY get some relief and maybe JUST MAYBE.....enjoy this phenomena called life just a little bit.

You almost got it. What i meant is (if i can put it into words) that the cycle has a half-period of at least <the length of my life>, so it's a VEEEERY LOOOONG cycle (a cycle being --> an "S" on the side). And it's still an ordinary cycle (with both positive & negative parts), as our lives must still obey "universal laws" - not even really bad luck, or a "bad deal in life" or even being "cursed" can affect these universal laws. Or perhaps it's not a cycle, but down to bad "karma" from past lives (since another universal law is the law of balance, or karma?); eg in a past life everything was exceptionally good, everything went your way, had very good luck, etc - to balance that out, one must have an exceptionally bad life.
Whatever the case, i believe we are being affected (& controlled) by things that we aren't really aware of (eg universal laws) .. things that operate at below our awareness (& i would say this applies to every person on earth, not just people like us).
And one crucial thing we are being affected/controlled by is our subconscious & memories & stored experiences.

 

[theslowesthand]

I have been trying to tell myself the big upswing is right around the corner. I can only hope that the same happens to you so we can FINALLY get some relief and maybe JUST MAYBE.....enjoy this phenomena called life just a little bit.

That's the HUGE part of life that i've NEVER HAD - the ENJOYING of life part.

 

[Kiwong]

What I really miss is having a good conversation with someone. When it goes well I really like it. But is so rare.

 

[Graeme1988]

Bored as f*ck. Can't be arsed doing much, if anything. :idontknow: Empty and devoid of purpose.

Feel like I've missed my chance to be happy in life, y'know? Like genuinely happy. Guess that's what I get for being too selfless. People tend to treat ya like crap, if yer that kinda person. Cuz it's rare if I think about myself, without feeling guity for doing so. Except when I'm completely alone in the house.
Aye, that what's life's like for ye when raised by and around highly narcissistic females. Yer happier alone.

Turning 30 next year, which is just... depressing. Not that you'd be able to tell. A sheltered life and dysfunctional upbringing really f*cks ye up. :sad:

 

[LittleGloves]

What I really miss is having a good conversation with someone. When it goes well I really like it. But is so rare.

Yes and especially if that someone is who you can relate to well

 

[defiance]

You almost got it. What i meant is (if i can put it into words) that the cycle has a half-period of at least <the length of my life>, so it's a VEEEERY LOOOONG cycle (a cycle being --> an "S" on the side). And it's still an ordinary cycle (with both positive & negative parts), as our lives must still obey "universal laws" - not even really bad luck, or a "bad deal in life" or even being "cursed" can affect these universal laws. Or perhaps it's not a cycle, but down to bad "karma" from past lives (since another universal law is the law of balance, or karma?); eg in a past life everything was exceptionally good, everything went your way, had very good luck, etc - to balance that out, one must have an exceptionally bad life.
Whatever the case, i believe we are being affected (& controlled) by things that we aren't really aware of (eg universal laws) .. things that operate at below our awareness (& i would say this applies to every person on earth, not just people like us).
And one crucial thing we are being affected/controlled by is our subconscious & memories & stored experiences.

Ah I see what you are implying now. You are absolutely right about how we are indeed being affected and controlled by past experiences stored somewhere away deep in our minds. I mean heck even if you have completely blocked out that particular bad memory, it will still haunt you. Like if you had a bad experience as a kid being around people and somehow managed to block it out, it is still very possible that you could be around people and get panic attacks or get scared and so forth. In a way I guess we are nothing more than victims of our past selves to an extent. Just a thought.

 

[Megaten]

Streeeeeesed! [emoji43]

 

[Graeme1988]

I can't stop laughing... The tears just won't stop!:lol: Just overheard the funniest, and loudest, parential meltdown ever! My older sister just started raging and swore at her 2 and a half year old daughter for not doing as she told. Then our mum chimmed in... Threatening to phone the eldest sibling.

Daft doesnae even begin to describe it. I'm... I'm still laughing as I write this.
F*ck, I better get composed. Otherwise that'll set my sister off again, for huvin a laugh at her expense.

Being from a dysfunctional family is the best - as far as comedy value goes. Why even watch bother sitcoms like this:

... When ye live it for real everyday? Except in my case it's more tense, surreal and darkly humour.

 

[Graeme1988]

Heartbroken... utterly heartbroken.

Listening to my mother tell me she finally gets why I tend to get so f*ckin' angry with the petty family arguments caused by my older sister. Oh, and that - due to the persistent stress of my older sister and her 2 young daughters currently staying with us indefinitely - my mother wishes she were dead. And I could barely even find the words to comfort her, as I've been coping with the stress by keeping to myself. :crying:

Though - to be honest - I don't blame her for feeling that way, really. :sad:

 

[LittleGloves]

I feel like a zombie ever since school has started

 

[theslowesthand]

Feeling bad about my life. Can't stop thinking about how much better other people's lives (& esp celebrities) must be. I know for a fact that my life is WAY dull & boring. It makes me sad that i'm not living the life that i "should" be, and it's likely to stay that way until the day i die. :sad:

 

[FountainandFairfax]

From a physical pain standpoint, today was the worst day of my life. Abject misery.

If I don't keep myself filled to the gills with water, my urinary tract becomes blocked and I get the worst kidney colic.

It feels like a carpenter bee trying to burrow its way out of my back.

 

[Graeme1988]

Feeling bad about my life. Can't stop thinking about how much better other people's lives (& esp celebrities) must be. I know for a fact that my life is WAY dull & boring. It makes me sad that i'm not living the life that i "should" be, and it's likely to stay that way until the day i die. :sad:

Oh, I can definitely relate. My life is boring as well.

Don't know if the celebrity lifestyle would that great, though. I mean, aye, you'd probably not being doing the same thing day in, day out - fair enough. And get invited to lavish parties. Don't know if I'd cope well with the loss of privacy, though? :question: :idontknow:

 

[Graeme1988]

Well, I had a rather sleepless night. Just questioning why I continue to put up with people's - or more to the point, women's - c*nty attitude and behaviour. :no: Stayed awake listening to early Metallica albums and Pantera's Vulgar Display of Power album. :kickingmyself: :veryangry:

Oh, speaking of which... That album's cover pretty much sums up how pissed off I am:

 

[AtTheGates]

something I can't stand is the people who arent about jack sh!t in this country. The kinds of people who will just change with all the changing trends..whatever is a trend in pop culture at the time becomes their new thing.


I dont agree with a lot of what Phil Anselmo is about but iv always liked what he says about Trends. he's firm with what he believes in and isn't swayed by trends and hype.

 

[AtTheGates]

something I can't stand is the people in this country who arent about jack sh!t.. The kinds of people who will just change with all the changing trends..whatever is a trend in pop culture at the time becomes their new thing....which is probably part of the reason iv never been very popular, because I dont "sell out" just so people will like me or so I can be accepted by the majority . I know what direction my moral compass points in and I dont change it for ANYONE.


I dont agree with a lot of what Phil Anselmo is about but iv always liked what he says about Trends. he's firm with what he believes in and he isn't swayed by trends and hype.



That being said, I haven't listened to Pantera in a WHILE. lol

some of the lyrics" "Fvck your magazine" ..makes me thing of all the media production companies that airbrush and photoshop pictures of women to try and make them look perfect...then young girls see it and starve themselves to look like that ...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_oIQhtbiOR0

 

[Graeme1988]

something I can't stand is the people who arent about jack sh!t in this country. The kinds of people who will just change with all the changing trends..whatever is a trend in pop culture at the time becomes their new thing.

I hate that I forced to be this sorta person. Mainly due to my family being pushing, overbearing bitches. Sorry. Always telling me, you should get this latest gadget; wearing that, shave yer beard like cuz that how all the "cool" blokes look. mg: :kickingmyself:

I dont agree with a lot of what Phil Anselmo is about but iv always liked what he says about Trends. he stand firm with what he believes in and he isn't swayed by trends and hype.

Anselmo is definitely not wrong in that regard. Better to be true to yourself, right?