How are you feeling?

defiance

Well-known member
I'd like to bash my head against a brick wall until I pass out or die from the damage.....preferably die from it.
 

defiance

Well-known member
I am oh so sad. Just so unbelievably sad. "WHY DON'T YOU WORK, WHY DON'T YOU DO THIS WHY DON'T YOU DO THAT." Don't you people understand the difference between not wanting to do something and wanting to do something but being unable to because of your issues? I wish I could have given my spot on this earth to someone else who deserves it way more than I do but I can't. All I can do is exist and suffer.
 

grapevine

Well-known member
Im feeling like I dont want to be around the people I am with because they do not have anything remotely related in intelligence,drive,knowledge etc . That their beliefs are very small and negative and they just cannot look outside of their behaviours and beliefs you know.
That and that I feel like I am carrying these people also and yet feel like Im the oddity and have to shrivel down to their level when I just cannot stand it.
Rant done.
 

Graeme1988

Hie yer hence from me heath!
Im feeling like I dont want to be around the people I am with because they do not have anything remotely related in intelligence,drive,knowledge etc . That their beliefs are very small and negative and they just cannot look outside of their behaviours and beliefs you know.
That and that I feel like I am carrying these people also and yet feel like Im the oddity and have to shrivel down to their level when I just cannot stand it.

I can definitely relate - I feel the same way about my family, most of the time.
 

Graeme1988

Hie yer hence from me heath!
Got many reasons to feel happy, yet ah feel depressed and empty. :sad:

Don't know if investing time in being creative will help? :question:

Ah feel like I'm constantly having to fight just get treated with some respect n' dignity by ma ain family. It's so frustrating to constantly be told what to do, and it has to be done now. Otherwise I'm a bad person, for some reason. :kickingmyself:

It's annoying to be almost 30 years old, and yer family still, collectively, treat you like a child. And incredibly stupid one, at that. :thumbdown:

Mind you, that's probably why my family relationship is so fraught and distant?
 

S_Spartan

Well-known member
I don't want to think about anything anymore. I've always liked philosophy and shit but I'm just burned out on this world. I would like to get out of my head and have more experiences but that takes......stuff.
 

Hot_Tamale

Well-known member
I don't want to think about anything anymore. I've always liked philosophy and shit but I'm just burned out on this world. I would like to get out of my head and have more experiences but that takes......stuff.
Hey Spartan, I know the feeling too. Mind if I borrow this quote and use it somewhere else?
 

defiance

Well-known member
The potential side of me is yelling GET OUT THERE AND MAKE SOMETHING OF YOURSELF BECAUSE THERE IS NOTHING YOU CAN'T DO. But my issues all together create a wall made from steel that my potential cannot break down. Maybe one day but who really knows:sad:
 

Graeme1988

Hie yer hence from me heath!
Confused, lonely, lost and broken.

Wondering how life could've been for me, if only my circumstances had been different. :sad:
Nicer people around me; better parents, better education... Guess ya could say I'm longing for the things I've never had in my life.
 

Graeme1988

Hie yer hence from me heath!
The potential side of me is yelling GET OUT THERE AND MAKE SOMETHING OF YOURSELF BECAUSE THERE IS NOTHING YOU CAN'T DO. But my issues all together create a wall made from steel that my potential cannot break down. Maybe one day but who really knows:sad:

I guess it's the same for me, in many ways. Right attitude, just too many things holding ya back, mentally, from taking action. Or physically, in my case. Though, I'm not sure I have any potential, or ever did? :thinking: Since there's nothing I'm particularly good that could be improved upon. Or anything I could become good at with practise. :idontknow:
 
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Graeme1988

Hie yer hence from me heath!
Ultimately just comin' to the terms with fact that there's no place for me here in this world. :sad:

No matter what I do, I'll always feel like, and be, an outsider. Always feel this constant pressure to conform to someone else's expections. Like I always have to justify my existence for one reason or another - and being judge negatively for as a result. At least, that's how it seems to be with me most of the time.
 

Graeme1988

Hie yer hence from me heath!
Dreading my next hospital appointment, not because I'm scaried summit will go wrong.
It's mainly because I've kinda blocked out the memories of my orthopedic surgery and recovery, since there's bit I'd rather forget, really.

And I know I'm going to have give a detailed account of January 6th til July 2nd, or there abouts, of this year for me.
And I'm not the most eloquent or articulate speaker.
 

defiance

Well-known member
I guess it's the same for me, in many ways. Right attitude, just too many things holding ya back, mentally, from taking action. Or physically, in my case. Though, I'm not sure I have any potential, or ever did? :thinking: Since there's nothing I'm particularly good that could be improved upon. Or anything I could become good at with practise. :idontknow:

I believe that everyone has potential. The problem is that when we suffer like we do, we do not take the time to truly search and find out who we can become and what potentials we possess. Depression, anxiety, and many other issues just pile up and leave you in the dark and you also become so uninterested in life that you just can't focus on anything other than the pain and suffering you have to deal with on a daily basis, at least that's how it has been for me. Maybe that's what makes depression and other fears hurt even more. The fact that you know you are being deprived of something that you can have but that wall is placed between you and your potential.
 

Graeme1988

Hie yer hence from me heath!
I believe that everyone has potential. The problem is that when we suffer like we do, we do not take the time to truly search and find out who we can become and what potentials we possess. Depression, anxiety, and many other issues just pile up and leave you in the dark and you also become so uninterested in life that you just can't focus on anything other than the pain and suffering you have to deal with on a daily basis, at least that's how it has been for me. Maybe that's what makes depression and other fears hurt even more.

No, I definitely say that how it is for me. Especially, since the pain of my condition has been quite overwhelming for me, lately. I guess it just get to me more since I'm never allowed to feel any emotion about it.

Just have smile and get on with it. :sad:

The fact that you know you are being deprived of something that you can have but that wall is placed between you and your potential.

^ This tends to upset me quite a bit as well, since I know it's could be possible. I just don't have the self-confidence or belief. Doesnae exactly help that I tend to get discourage, by my family, from pursuing the things that might be good for me in the long-term. :kickingmyself:

So, I've kinda just accepting how things are, and gave up on things getting any better or worse. Sorry, if that's quite a cynical way of looking at life.
 

defiance

Well-known member
No, I definitely say that how it is for me. Especially, since the pain of my condition has been quite overwhelming for me, lately. I guess it just get to me more since I'm never allowed to feel any emotion about it.

Just have smile and get on with it. :sad:



^ This tends to upset me quite a bit as well, since I know it's could be possible. I just don't have the self-confidence or belief. Doesnae exactly help that I tend to get discourage, by my family, from pursuing the things that might be good for me in the long-term. :kickingmyself:

So, I've kinda just accepting how things are, and gave up on things getting any better or worse. Sorry, if that's quite a cynical way of looking at life.

No apologizes necessary as I am that way now as well. My previous statement was more of a possible words scenario. You know a "what if" sort of a thing. I am someone that has also accepted that my life will never be what I want it to be. Every day is the same if not a bit worse than the day before. I will keep hoping for change in a positive light but will it ever arrive?
 

Graeme1988

Hie yer hence from me heath!
No apologizes necessary as I am that way now as well. My previous statement was more of a possible words scenario. You know a "what if" sort of a thing. I am someone that has also accepted that my life will never be what I want it to be. Every day is the same if not a bit worse than the day before. I will keep hoping for change in a positive light but will it ever arrive?

Awrite, didnae know if I was being a bit too pessimistic in my previous response, there.

But, aye, it's same for me. Well kinda, in that, everyday's the same. But I try to do something to keep my mind from dwelling on how bleak my life is. Because I know if I thinking about too much, I'm going to do myself. :sad:

And I'm kinda at point where ah wonder if I'm even worth saving at this point, y'know? Is it even worth trying to make friends? Since it's quite difficult for people like us - and particular disabled folk, such as myself - to start and maintain an form of connection with other people. :idontknow:
 
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