How are you feeling?

[defiance]

I feel like I am ready to go tonight. All I can hope for is that it happens tonight when I go to sleep. That way I don't have to do anything in regards to that. Also I am sad about the recent earthquake that hit Ecuador. I read somewhere that 238 people have been confirmed dead. This bothers me on a different level as well because I feel guilty that I am alive and these people now aren't. Just the way my messed up brain works I guess.:crying:

 

[this_portrait]

Dreading what tomorrow will bring. Also annoyed at the insane amount of people out today. Every time the temperature rises, all the families come out. I think there's also a baseball game going on today. I wish I had the motivation to do something outside of my apartment, but all those people, combined with my demotivation, are just giving me more reason to remain inside.

 

[spider04]

Just came back from Keukenhof, was relaxing & took way too many pictures of tulips. Legs hurt now, but was well worth it walking 3 hours there.

 

[Marc7]

I mean do as much as you can and yes, ask them to text or actually talk on skype or phone.

If they say no then move on quickly.

But there needs to be a comfort or certain point to get to that point first. Like how long or when is the right time to do that?

But SA doesn't work like that. A person with SA still sees you as a human being and so the anxiety is still there.

I understand they have anxiety but wouldn't they be more sympathetic though?

 

[defiance]

Every time it's a hot day, I feel worse than I normally do. It's already difficult enough on a day to day basis, but when it's also hot I am far worse. So you can imagine how much I hate the summer.

 

[S_Spartan]

But there needs to be a comfort or certain point to get to that point first. Like how long or when is the right time to do that?

There is no right or wrong time but there is a window of time because internet friendships are like shooting stars. Sometimes intense right at the very beginning and then they fizzle out quickly most times. It's just the nature of the medium. Some of them fizzle in a day and some fizzle in a year but most of them, the majority of them, fizzle eventually.
This is why it's important to move the conversation to a more personal form like text or talk while the star is still glowing.

I understand they have anxiety but wouldn't they be more sympathetic though?

Maybe more sympathetic but a person who has trouble connecting to other people is going to have trouble whether they are talking to a fellow SA'er or a "normal" person. However, I have found people with SA to be more understanding personally overall. You just can't expect all of them to be though.

 

[S_Spartan]

Every time it's a hot day, I feel worse than I normally do. It's already difficult enough on a day to day basis, but when it's also hot I am far worse. So you can imagine how much I hate the summer.

I hear ya man! I was really waiting for the warm weather and now that it's here I don't feel like going out in it. Funny how that works...

 

[defiance]

Piece of sh*t father opening his stupid f*****g mouth and pissing me off yet again. God I hate this man.:kickingmyself:

 

[defiance]

Every morning I wake up, I already know what the day has in store for me. I constantly let people down because I can't do anything due to my anxiety and depression. My suicidal urges are getting worse and worse and I just cannot stand it anymore. People are getting annoyed with me because I cannot drive and I cannot work and they deserve to be angry with me as these are things I should be able to do. I hate myself so much. There are no words as to how much I want to end my miserable life. It's not fair that I am forced to stick around just so others won't be sad. Things sure would be easier if people hated me, as they should, then I could easily end it without any regrets. Because as of right now the only regret would be to make my Mom sad with my passing. Well that's my daily rant for now.:sad:

 

[Marc7]

There is no right or wrong time but there is a window of time because internet friendships are like shooting stars. Sometimes intense right at the very beginning and then they fizzle out quickly most times. It's just the nature of the medium. Some of them fizzle in a day and some fizzle in a year but most of them, the majority of them, fizzle eventually.
This is why it's important to move the conversation to a more personal form like text or talk while the star is still glowing.

But you have to comfortable enough with them first imo. What if they are not from my country though because I understand there is fees for international texting and calling?

Maybe more sympathetic but a person who has trouble connecting to other people is going to have trouble whether they are talking to a fellow SA'er or a "normal" person. However, I have found people with SA to be more understanding personally overall. You just can't expect all of them to be though.

My problem is idk how to keep a conversation going with a Sa'er or "normal" person :idontknow:.

 

[this_portrait]

Every day I get more and more paranoid and angry. There's something freaking me out, and I feel like there's no one I can talk to about it without them telling me I'm overreacting, or worse, that they'll get mad at me for it.

 

[kilojoule]

@node luck got nothing to do with it. Youve worked hard. I hope they get stuck in traffic needing to pee too.

 

[Graeme1988]

Ah've f**ked up yet again... Nuthin' new, there. Ah really should stop thinkin' ah cun do summit when it "looks easy" and not huv it end up being a total disaster. Cuz that's clearly not true.

 

[Louco]

I feel like I'm forgetting my English, I wish I could spend some time in the US or England. :sad:

 

[GraybeardGhost]

I don't want to live like this anymore. It's too humiliating, too shameful. I don't want to live at all.

 

[Graeme1988]

I don't want to live like this anymore. It's too humiliating, too shameful. I don't want to live at all.

Aye, ah know that feelin' aw too well... :sad:

 

[kilojoule]

Life is so hard sometimes

 

[defiance]

I don't want to live like this anymore. It's too humiliating, too shameful. I don't want to live at all.

I couldn't agree more. I would like to add in scary as well at least in my case. I hate life. Everyday is another day for me to let people down. Lately they have been getting angry with me for not being able to work or drive or do any of the simple things that is expected from someone my age. I refuse to live like this for too much longer. I will end my own life somewhere down the line. When I get to that point I will no longer think about the people I will hurt by doing it, but rather that my suffering will finally come to an end.

 

[this_portrait]

Resentful. So so resentful.

 

[GraybeardGhost]

I'm confused. There are things I don't understand—things happening, things being said—but I'm not sure what they are. I need/want to go out, but I'm tired and afraid (people, money, car might blow up, etc.). I need/want to stay home, but I'm mixed up about that, too. Can't go, can't stay, can't do, can't do nothing, can't speak, can't remain silent. I don't know what to do anymore. I'm not sure I ever have known.