Well, that's me fuct ! Ah've been emotionally blackmailed intae carin' fur ma mum, despite barely bein' able tae care for maself. There's goes any chance uh me actually gettin' oan with ma life an' bein' genuinely happy. :kickingmyself:
I don't know why I'm so nervous to go in the store right now. I go here all the time and I don't want to even been in the house all the time. For some reason though, I feel uneasy...
A family member "attempted suicide" the other day and is in the hospital, and strangely I don't feel much of anything about it. Maybe it's all the BS I've put up with from the person and I've given up. Makes me think I'm a cold bitch to not even take it seriously, but I find I don't care about much anymore unless it causes me bad anxiety, like getting a summer job (depressing).
Things are literally falling apart around me and I feel like laughing, in fact I was the other day during a heated argument, just laughing at the absurdity of it. I don't give a ****.
I don't like talking on the phone either. I get so nervous and it's always awkward. I'm insecure about the way my voice sounds. You wouldn't believe how long it takes me to dial a number and actually make a call. :omg:
Pathetic. I cannot believe I spent some of my day trying to learn how to hack "my singing monsters".
When I first read this, I thought "My Singing Monster" was some sort of euphemism, and you were talking about some sort of life hack. I assume I wrong though and you are talking about the world builder simulation game I moments ago learned existed. If you were hacking it to try to make them stop singing out of key I approve of your days work :thumbup:
Pathetic. I cannot believe I spent some of my day trying to learn how to hack "my singing monsters".
Spending time trying to get around scummy micro transactions and making smartphone games remotely fun is a worthy cause in my book. Consider it a learning exercise.
Why do ah let maself be talked outta stuff that ah need to do...? :kickingmyself: Feckin' hate that ma family huv more control over ma life than ah do. Cannae even stand up for masel' cuz am always the bad yin.
In many of them I have to keep doing something to prevent getting myself killed.
Last night I had to keep my "hands up" every waking hour of the day (every day) or be shot.
Out of a large group of people taken by a few hostage takers I was the only one who managed to do it and the only one to survive.
I ended up gaining the trust of the person with a gun watching me and that is the only reason why I did not get shot like all of the others I think. :thinking:
Makes me want to research the meaning of certain types of dreams/nightmares because most of mine seem to have a common theme.
Feeling sick and tired of these pulsating migraine headaches. The left side if my head feels like it's being stabbed and my whole head is throbbing. Nothing I know of or currently have access to works for them, nothing. I was supposed to get a prescription for the sumatriptan nose spray, which is the ONLY thing I've ever tried that greatly lessened the pain, but somehow the pharmacy said the prescription didn't exist or got cancelled. What? Why does everything have to be complicated. Efffff these headaches, they make it hard to function.
Spending time trying to get around scummy micro transactions and making smartphone games remotely fun is a worthy cause in my book. Consider it a learning exercise.
In many of them I have to keep doing something to prevent getting myself killed.
Last night I had to keep my "hands up" every waking hour of the day (every day) or be shot.
Out of a large group of people taken by a few hostage takers I was the only one who managed to do it and the only one to survive.
I ended up gaining the trust of the person with a gun watching me and that is the only reason why I did not get shot like all of the others I think. :thinking:
Makes me want to research the meaning of certain types of dreams/nightmares because most of mine seem to have a common theme.
I remember when I was 7 or so, I had this recurring dream where the primary school I was going to was haunted and Harry Potter was following me around with a trolley saying "lips for sale" over and over again. That was creepy.
I also got a lot of dreams where I was being chased by something , presumably to kill me. I recall this one dream where I was in some weird abstract dimension where James Bond was trying to hunt me down. I'm fairly sure he caught me.
Those dreams always induced fear and adrenaline, but the one that sticks with me the most is one that occured when I became aware of my parent's financial troubles. I had a dream where I arrived home from primary school and saw my mom and dad just sitting there at the dinner table, slumped shoulders and sad faces, staring blankly at the plates in front of them with nothing more than half a cup of water and a small piece of bread. I don't know why, but that dream made me immensely sad upon waking up.
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