Sorry to hear this, Phoenixx. I hope you feel better now.Pretty blah and kind of depressed. It'll pass, I just need to find something to distract myself for the time being.
What happened? Sometimes we forget to use the filter between the mind and the mouth. We've all been there.The world is not always to blame, sometimes I've got to take responsibility for the shit that comes out from between my ears. That's where all the mayhem starts.
I hope you don't "need" to get used to them. That would be awful.Emptiness and loneliness don't seem to go away.,may be I need to get used to them.
Inept, frustrated.
I feel like I’m living every day just waiting to die. There isn’t a point to my existence, I’m simply here waiting it out until it’s all over and done with. There is no excitement or thrill to life. Living, breathing, being conscious is just some horrible neverending chore. I’m not really living right now anyways, sitting around doing nothing all day is not living. I may be alive and breathing physically, but I feel dead in a way. I’m not here because I want to be, and I’m definitely not enjoying any of it. There is nothing to look forward to but more days filled with endless fear and anxiety. I’m starting to think I am beyond the point of help, past the point of ever changing myself in any way. I feel meh. I really don’t want this life.
^ That sounds spooky, kihiraFeeling quite weird today; it was cold and foggy first thing until the fog lifted quickly, now its sunny. Went for a walk along a track, still feeling half-asleep. Strangers kept saying "morning" as they passed, a white heron flew from the treetops, black swans slept in the warm morning sun and tibetan prayer flags fluttered on a bush. On the water a man standing on his board paddled past and a ship in the distance sounded its horn loudly. It felt surreal, so many unusual sights, and I wondered if I was dreaming, or perhaps had died in the night and this was the next place.
I feel like I’m living every day just waiting to die. There isn’t a point to my existence, I’m simply here waiting it out until it’s all over and done with. There is no excitement or thrill to life. Living, breathing, being conscious is just some horrible neverending chore. I’m not really living right now anyways, sitting around doing nothing all day is not living. I may be alive and breathing physically, but I feel dead in a way. I’m not here because I want to be, and I’m definitely not enjoying any of it. There is nothing to look forward to but more days filled with endless fear and anxiety. I’m starting to think I am beyond the point of help, past the point of ever changing myself in any way. I feel meh. I really don’t want this life.
Well, it's ma birthday today. 26 years old. Yay! Ah've finallly surpassed ma shoe size. :bigsmile: Man, I feel old
Though, fae a physical point uh view, ah've no' daein' too well. In fact ah'll like S, star, star, T! Huv'nae felt right since Saturday morning. Ah woke up wi' a sore lower back and a migraine heidache, and slight vertigo. Then, a few hours later, ah got food poisoning after eatin' a chicken sandwich - at least, I think that what ah've got. Gettin' diarrhoea as a result. Ma stomach huz been in agony since ah got back fae that comedy gig in Glasgow. Hud a ticket to see Glaswegian stand-up comedian and magician Jerry Sadowitz - let's just say he's no' the kinda comedian ye take yer mutherhttp://www.socialphobiaworld.com/newreply.php?do=newreply&p=782216# tae see. :ironicsmile: Ah went against ma better judgement, like, but only because ah didnae want miss it.
So, anyway, Saturday night and much of Sunday morning were sleepless. And involved me gettin' up 'n' gan tae the toilet every half an hour to an hour. Doesnae help that am totally knackered fae the lack uh sleep. Needless tae ah've been bed-ridden fur nearly 3 days.
Happy Birthday man! Hope you had a good one.
26 is still young you know :thumbup: