this_portrait
Well-known member
Physically tired. I've been working more than usual this week, which means I'm on my feet for longer periods of time.
How are you feeling?
- Thread starter Remus
- Start date
I feel pretty depressed this morning, which is unfortunate because it's gorgeous outside, but I don't want to get out of bed.
1. I keep having these dreams where I'm with a small group of people, having dinner or playing games, just socializing and thinking, hey this is nice. Then immediately I wake up and realize those people aren't real, and I don't have friends who want to hang out with me.
2. Then I get up to check my email, and receive a message from my ex-husband. He went four or five years without contacting me, changed all his email addresses and moved and the only way I could have contacted him was if I had sent a letter to his mother's house. Anyway, he somehow got ahold of my blog and read through all the old entries, and was livid to find out that my first cat (that he had given me years ago) had been hit and killed by a car a while back. He is chastising me for letting her go outside, and angry with me for not telling him sooner. I'm not really sure how to reply to that.
3. I have the entire day off work but the bf is out of town and I'm really broke at the moment, so I'm not really sure how I can manage to distract myself to get into a better mood today.
1. I keep having these dreams where I'm with a small group of people, having dinner or playing games, just socializing and thinking, hey this is nice. Then immediately I wake up and realize those people aren't real, and I don't have friends who want to hang out with me.
2. Then I get up to check my email, and receive a message from my ex-husband. He went four or five years without contacting me, changed all his email addresses and moved and the only way I could have contacted him was if I had sent a letter to his mother's house. Anyway, he somehow got ahold of my blog and read through all the old entries, and was livid to find out that my first cat (that he had given me years ago) had been hit and killed by a car a while back. He is chastising me for letting her go outside, and angry with me for not telling him sooner. I'm not really sure how to reply to that.
3. I have the entire day off work but the bf is out of town and I'm really broke at the moment, so I'm not really sure how I can manage to distract myself to get into a better mood today.
Opaline
1
:/ yikes, I'm sorry to hear this Marie. I find it odd that your ex contacted you just because of your cat... Maybe he was just using it as an excuse to contact you anyway? Either way, why is he angry with you, it's not as if you killed the cat yourself. Accidents happen.
I hope you feel better. You can always take up crochet to distract you!
:/ yikes, I'm sorry to hear this Marie. I find it odd that your ex contacted you just because of your cat... Maybe he was just using it as an excuse to contact you anyway? Either way, why is he angry with you, it's not as if you killed the cat yourself. Accidents happen.
I hope you feel better. You can always take up crochet to distract you!
Thank you, Opaline. He had actually contacted me first a few months ago to tell me that the rabbit we had adopted together had finally died. I didn't get the message for a while because he sent it through my flickr account, which I guess was the only way he could think of to contact me, and I rarely go there to see if I have any messages. He has always been extremely opinionated about not letting cats go outside, which I happen to not agree with, obviously. Unfortunately, in this case, his fears were realized, and he's using it to say, "see, I told you so." That kind of thing.
I tried to take up crocheting once, long ago, but could never get the hang of it! What are you making/going to make? I do want to get a sewing machine and try my hand at making things. Some day.
Lea
Banned
I cried half of the night through. It just sometimes happen, I don´t know exactly why, but I felt so unbearable and frustrated and like I can´t go on this way anymore. I am trying to find the way out, but I feel like I can´t do it on my own and need some help but my parents are never taking me seriously, at most my mother offers me a tea or some food, they never realize how badly I am and maybe think I am just in a bad mood but it´s a way more serious. If my father at least stopped being rude to me all the time and treating me like a floor rag. I am not a human for him, my mother doesn´t give a crap either, they always only think of themselves but don´t give a crap how their behaviour towards me makes me feel. For example, they walk around in dirty shoes all the time after I´ve cleaned and if I say something, they shout at me to shut up. Or sometimes they have TV on loud and if I ask them if they could turn it down a bit, my father says "tell her to shut up or I punch her in the face", etc. They never talk to me about anything, and always do what they want without asking my opinion. Or if I beg them to take in account my opinion, my father tells me to shut up and does what he wants himself anyway. But that´s not the only thing I cried about, I´ve got a million problems about everything, they make up one huge problem and frustration.
It doesn't sound like anything good will come of replying at all.
Taking pictures? :idontknow:
I did reply, and he's not going to be happy with what I said, but I'm no longer the person he can push around and emotionally manipulate. He's going to have to deal with that. I feel better now.
I might take the old camera out, but I'm getting tired of taking pics of barren winterscapes, haha. Maybe there will be some photogenic turtles lying around...
Graeme1988
Hie yer hence from me heath!
Aye, ah agree with Marie. Keepin' tae yerself might be best for now, darlin'. :idontknow: Though, ah can relate, kinda, since ma dad treated me the same way when he was alive.
BlueWeepingRose
Well-known member
Right now I feel like an outsider, like I don't belong anywhere. Don't even have a single friend near by.
Nanita
Well-known member
Me too.
Not belonging and not having a friend near by. That´s how I feel most of the time.
I have many interesting and passionate dreams each night, and I wake up depressed, thinking wow I wish my daytime life was as interesting as my dreams.
this_portrait
Well-known member
Confused and sad. I hate everything.
Lea
Banned
Aw thank you Marie and Graeme. I can´t limit my contact with them, because I live with them in a house. In fact I do avoid them by not going to the kitchen and spending time in my room all the time, but that´s not much help or solution to the problem. Only I feel more lonely. Most of my life I felt so desperate and feel like I need someone´s help but they are as if they didn´t exist, I can´t count on them with anything. On the contrary all they can do is to destroy me even more, as if they couldn´t see how badly I am, or more probably they don´t mind and don´t give a ****. It´s as if my father is attempting to kill my soul which he did and I am now only a walking dead.
Solitudes_Grace
Well-known member
I feel nervous. I really don't want to go to my family reunion tomorrow.
Graeme1988
Hie yer hence from me heath!
Well, it's ma birthday today. 25 years old, yet am depressed tae the point of indifference about that fact. :sad:
Another year older, another year wiser? Clichéd bollock! :kickingmyself: Yer just another year closer tae death, that's aw, really. Yay!
Ah know, ah shouldnae be feelin' that way...h:
Another year older, another year wiser? Clichéd bollock! :kickingmyself: Yer just another year closer tae death, that's aw, really. Yay!
Ah know, ah shouldnae be feelin' that way...
h:
Graeme1988
Hie yer hence from me heath!
Aye, ah know what ye mean. Ah'll probably buy masel' some DVDs or get some DVDs boxset or something. At least, ah've got a music gig in Glasgow tae look forward to tomorrow. Going to Scottish alt rockers Biffy Clyro.