ImNotMyIllness
Well-known member
Awake from my slumber?? (Depression)......A voice in my head keeps telling me "do this" do that"..."NOW!". I'm starting to get things done! I would stay longer, but I have to do stuff! Weird! But, I like it!
How are you feeling?
- Thread starter Remus
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Xervello
Well-known member
I've SEEN you. You're bootyful. You've nothing to be depressed about in that regard. Not that it stops us crazies from finding something though. Still.
As for the not eating dinner, *pokes you*, stop that. It was Gandhi's fave meal of the day! You don't want to let Gandhi down, do you? If ya do, you'll be reincarnated as a fly that really, really likes cow booties.
gummybear22
Well-known member
^you haven't seen me. you briefly saw a picture of my head and top of shoulders, which is over a year old. i'm not beautiful. i'm just regular. and i'm not being modest, i'm being real, cuz that's how i am.
i've got recurrent brief depression, and have had it for over 6.5 years. my looks have been one of the triggers. it's got several triggers, my rbd.
i've had phases of not caring to eat dinner, and i'm just in one right now. i did eat dinner tonight though, made a bowl of oatmeal and a piece of bacon and a cup of chocolate milk.
i've got recurrent brief depression, and have had it for over 6.5 years. my looks have been one of the triggers. it's got several triggers, my rbd.
i've had phases of not caring to eat dinner, and i'm just in one right now. i did eat dinner tonight though, made a bowl of oatmeal and a piece of bacon and a cup of chocolate milk.
Xervello
Well-known member
Opaline
1
Today was mostly good but the end of the day put a damper on it, a bunch of things kind of snowballed and each successive thing eroded my peace a little more and finally just tipped me into a bad mood, and I'm having a hard time remedying it. I feel down, angry and embarrassed. Need to find a way to feel better before I sleep...
Graeme1988
Hie yer hence from me heath!
I'm a f**kin' omnishambles. A total, emotionally wreck. Depressed. Lonely. Miserable as fu...ck!:sad:
Made aw the worse by the fact I'm attendin' my uncle's funeral today. :crying:
Made aw the worse by the fact I'm attendin' my uncle's funeral today. :crying:
Graeme1988
Hie yer hence from me heath!
Quite reflective, actually. Just got back fae ma uncle's funeral, I mean, am no greetin' (cryin') now. But I was pretty much all in tears during the burial, as was my mum, losin' her brother after all. She got a cord to lower the coffin, as did ma brother-in-law - him wearing his military uniform. Typical of ma uncle, though... havin' his coffin carried intae the cemetery with 2 pipers playin' the bagpipes.
But as I say, we're all feelin' it. :crying:
But as I say, we're all feelin' it. :crying:
Feeling kind of down today. I read something on another website that made me angry. That woman just blew up and started getting real defensive, attacking people who poured their genuine feelings out. I don't want to deal with people. I moved many times just so I don't have to deal with people.
Starry
Well-known member
In PAIN! After finishing 45 minutes of cycling and 15 minuted of HIIT on the bike earlier my stomach was hurting a lot (no big deal, that happens quite often when I exercise intensively)... But I've just finished eating and the only word I can use to describe it is agony! Why do my intestines react to exercise and food in this way so frequently? Most days I have some degree of pain, but this is ridiculous... *Groan*
My sister went back to NC yesterday, so I'm a little bummed to have her gone, but also excited to get back to life as it was before.
And I'm sore from moving my fish tank yesterday.
And I'm sore from moving my fish tank yesterday.
Ithior
Well-known member
Feeling a bit down from all the things going on in my life (or rather, not going on in my life), but mainly because of some unfortunate events that happened today that ruined the confident, happy mood I had this morning.
I also realised that I'm starting to get the habit of writing huge walls of text in Notepad about how I feel and what is going on in my life while never posting it anywhere, or sharing those feelings with other people. It just feels like I'm some whiny kid complaining about his little problems, when other people (like people who come to this forum) are going through much more complicated and serious problems. Well, that's what stops me from posting online; when it comes to IRL, it's more about my avoidant personality.
Just from what I just wrote I already feel like I'm talking about stuff no one cares about, since it seems like such a petty issue.
I also realised that I'm starting to get the habit of writing huge walls of text in Notepad about how I feel and what is going on in my life while never posting it anywhere, or sharing those feelings with other people. It just feels like I'm some whiny kid complaining about his little problems, when other people (like people who come to this forum) are going through much more complicated and serious problems. Well, that's what stops me from posting online; when it comes to IRL, it's more about my avoidant personality.
Just from what I just wrote I already feel like I'm talking about stuff no one cares about, since it seems like such a petty issue.
I feel kind of "bad *ss" inside. Have you ever had this feeling that when you see/hear your bullies suffer and cry, you feel good because you think they deserve it? That's how I feel. I know it's supposed to be “wrong” to feel this way but I can't help but feel it.
I used to live with my brother in a neighborhood in another city. When we first moved in, the neighbors didn't like me for whatever reason. They called me “stupid” because believe it or not, I accidentally placed my key inside a locked car and had to call a locksmith to get it out. They looked out the window and just laughed. They also called me a “sl*t” probably because they saw several guys came into my apt on different days. They spy on me and my brother through the windows but when I notice them and look at their windows, they curse at us, saying “F*** you” and “what are you looking at?” I find it hypocritical because they spy on us without us complaining but when we look at them, they get angry and pissed. Weird, huh?
Anyways, I could tell they didn't like me from the moment I moved in. One day early in the morning, maybe btw 7-8 AM on a Saturday, a guy downstairs started yelling “stupid girl” several times, loudly. My brother was sleeping and this woke him up. He got angry and started hammering on the floor. I could hear them shrieking and panicking. They probably thought it was me because afterwards, they taunted me even more. And my brother didn't like them at all. Sometimes they would purposefully slam doors in early morning. One time, we woke up with our door wide open! Somebody must have picked our door in the middle of the night! And there was one time when I came home early (before 5 PM) and the neighbors downstairs got pissed so they started yelling “get out!”
Eventually they found out it was my brother doing the stompings and hammerings but the funny thing is they took their anger out on me. One time, when I came home and got out of my car, a neighbor also came out, looked at me, and yelled “F*** you!” several times, in a very loud voice. This happened 2 days in a row. On another day, when I came back home, I was in my room with my lights on and outside my window, I suddenly heard multiple people yelling at the top of their lungs, “F*** you!” for almost 2-3 minutes. After it was over, I heard somebody downstairs said, “Is she crying?” Then another person said, “Yes, she's crying” and then somebody else said, “Haha.”
Anyways, I moved out of this sh**ty neighborhood 6 months later. And I don't feel an ounce of sympathy for these people. Why? They never liked me and from the very start, they have bullied and harassed me. Throughout this whole mess, I wanted to cry and ball my eyes out, I was very very hurt and damaged, but I couldn't show these b*tards any weakness. So, when my brother harassed them back, I thought to myself, “They deserve it, these b*tards”. And from then onwards, I remained indifferent to whatever they say or do.
I used to live with my brother in a neighborhood in another city. When we first moved in, the neighbors didn't like me for whatever reason. They called me “stupid” because believe it or not, I accidentally placed my key inside a locked car and had to call a locksmith to get it out. They looked out the window and just laughed. They also called me a “sl*t” probably because they saw several guys came into my apt on different days. They spy on me and my brother through the windows but when I notice them and look at their windows, they curse at us, saying “F*** you” and “what are you looking at?” I find it hypocritical because they spy on us without us complaining but when we look at them, they get angry and pissed. Weird, huh?
Anyways, I could tell they didn't like me from the moment I moved in. One day early in the morning, maybe btw 7-8 AM on a Saturday, a guy downstairs started yelling “stupid girl” several times, loudly. My brother was sleeping and this woke him up. He got angry and started hammering on the floor. I could hear them shrieking and panicking. They probably thought it was me because afterwards, they taunted me even more. And my brother didn't like them at all. Sometimes they would purposefully slam doors in early morning. One time, we woke up with our door wide open! Somebody must have picked our door in the middle of the night! And there was one time when I came home early (before 5 PM) and the neighbors downstairs got pissed so they started yelling “get out!”
Eventually they found out it was my brother doing the stompings and hammerings but the funny thing is they took their anger out on me. One time, when I came home and got out of my car, a neighbor also came out, looked at me, and yelled “F*** you!” several times, in a very loud voice. This happened 2 days in a row. On another day, when I came back home, I was in my room with my lights on and outside my window, I suddenly heard multiple people yelling at the top of their lungs, “F*** you!” for almost 2-3 minutes. After it was over, I heard somebody downstairs said, “Is she crying?” Then another person said, “Yes, she's crying” and then somebody else said, “Haha.”
Anyways, I moved out of this sh**ty neighborhood 6 months later. And I don't feel an ounce of sympathy for these people. Why? They never liked me and from the very start, they have bullied and harassed me. Throughout this whole mess, I wanted to cry and ball my eyes out, I was very very hurt and damaged, but I couldn't show these b*tards any weakness. So, when my brother harassed them back, I thought to myself, “They deserve it, these b*tards”. And from then onwards, I remained indifferent to whatever they say or do.
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I used to write all my thoughts on wordpad without sharing with anyone but that didn't make me feel any better. After I found SPW, I could finally pour out my feelings, with a sense of satisfaction. Whether your problems are complicated or not, big or small, you have just as much right to share your feelings with other people. Don't worry about writing walls of text: I do that sometimes but it's necessary to get my feelings out. Better than storing them in my head or wordpad.
Graeme1988
Hie yer hence from me heath!
Why do you think no-one cares? And why do you feel other people's problems are more serious or complicated than your own? What you're talking about doesn't seem like a petty issue to me.
And we've all got to vent our emotions, sometimes, just let them out. Can't keep things bottled up inside, all the time.
Anyway, what's bothering you, mate? I'm willing to listen.
If you don't want talk about it on the forum here, you can message on here in private.
SoScared
Well-known member
This one is for me. It’s my 200th post and I just want to say well done dude….I always said if you need help never be afraid or too proud to ask.
You finally took yourself off to CBT therapy a year last November and that was just about the best thing you ever did do.
The list is:
CBT
Vipassana Guided Meditation…leading to mindfulness
Law of Attraction
Thanks…
You finally took yourself off to CBT therapy a year last November and that was just about the best thing you ever did do.
The list is:
CBT
Vipassana Guided Meditation…leading to mindfulness
Law of Attraction
Thanks…
Kiwong
Well-known member
The only real tension I am under at the moment, is a work situation. There is one of the office gossips going around saying that she is worried I am going to hit on her. This is acutely embarassing, I have no interest whatsoever, and spend most of my time trying to avoid her. I don't enjoy speaking to her. I think I heard the gossips suggest that it was weird that I was avoiding her.
On the one hand she is worried I am going to hit on her, and then I go for months without even saying hello. That's my unspoken message of "I'm not interested." and on the other hand she seems aggrieved when I avoid her, like I did when I saw her at the shops.
I don't know of another way to respond to this other than not to react.
On the one hand she is worried I am going to hit on her, and then I go for months without even saying hello. That's my unspoken message of "I'm not interested." and on the other hand she seems aggrieved when I avoid her, like I did when I saw her at the shops.
I don't know of another way to respond to this other than not to react.
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