How are you feeling?

[Opaline]

I don't know why lately when I add someone on FB from here so we can talk or play a game or whatever, I end up getting blocked with no explanation. I mean, can I at least get an explanation? God, makes me feel like I did something wrong.

 

[MikeyC]

I don't know how to make good decisions. I shall just not make them...

What happened?

 

[Phoenixx]

I am feeling so incredibly crappy tonight. Actually I've felt fairly depressed all day, but now all I want to do is cry. :sad: Part of this is because I'm tired since I didn't sleep well. No sleep = increased anxiety for me. I've also had my fair share of pms, which is very close to being more along the lines of pmdd, so that hasn't been helping either. I'm just really tired of the constant emotional rollercoaster every single year. Or rather every year is more like 90% depression/anxiety/sadness/neutrality and 10% actual happiness. I'm just tired of feeling so alone in my life with this, with everything. I really just want to tell someone, I really want therapy, but I really have no idea how to even tell my mom, or anyone else for that matter, and I'm just so afraid of what to expect. (My dad works all the time, so I can't really tell him. Usually if I need something, mom comes first, then tells dad. Either way though I try not to rely on my parents for much at all.) We already dealt with my cousin this year and her mental issues, that was such a handful. I'm basically just afraid of getting the same reaction from my parents. That I'm "crazy."

I did locate a therapist's office this year, so I suppose that is some progress. I was surprised how close they were from my college (still need to drive to get there though), but I have yet to actually stop in the place and ask questions. That was something I wanted to do on my own without anyone actually knowing, but in my circumstances that's nearly impossible. I guess I need to stop being so private? Stop putting such a wall up all the time? I've been doing it for years now, so it's basically second nature. It makes me feel crappy after a while though, like I'm basically lying to everyone around me. Which I guess I kinda am because I'm protecting what vulnerability I have so I don't come across as weak.

I'm sorry for the depressing rant, especially on New Year's Eve (or New Year's Day for some of you who couldn't wait for the rest of us). I know I try not to predict anything or get my hopes up about a new year, rather I like to remain neutral, but I've recently been really anxious about it all.

 

[hidwell]

I am feeling so incredibly crappy tonight. Actually I've felt fairly depressed all day, but now all I want to do is cry. :sad: Part of this is because I'm tired since I didn't sleep well. No sleep = increased anxiety for me. I've also had my fair share of pms, which is very close to being more along the lines of pmdd, so that hasn't been helping either. I'm just really tired of the constant emotional rollercoaster every single year. Or rather every year is more like 90% depression/anxiety/sadness/neutrality and 10% actual happiness. I'm just tired of feeling so alone in my life with this, with everything. I really just want to tell someone, I really want therapy, but I really have no idea how to even tell my mom, or anyone else for that matter, and I'm just so afraid of what to expect. (My dad works all the time, so I can't really tell him. Usually if I need something, mom comes first, then tells dad. Either way though I try not to rely on my parents for much at all.) We already dealt with my cousin this year and her mental issues, that was such a handful. I'm basically just afraid of getting the same reaction from my parents. That I'm "crazy."

I did locate a therapist's office this year, so I suppose that is some progress. I was surprised how close they were from my college (still need to drive to get there though), but I have yet to actually stop in the place and ask questions. That was something I wanted to do on my own without anyone actually knowing, but in my circumstances that's nearly impossible. I guess I need to stop being so private? Stop putting such a wall up all the time? I've been doing it for years now, so it's basically second nature. It makes me feel crappy after a while though, like I'm basically lying to everyone around me. Which I guess I kinda am because I'm protecting what vulnerability I have so I don't come across as weak.

I'm sorry for the depressing rant, especially on New Year's Eve (or New Year's Day for some of you who couldn't wait for the rest of us). I know I try not to predict anything or get my hopes up about a new year, rather I like to remain neutral, but I've recently been really anxious about it all.

Don't be sorry for feeling depressed, this is the right forum to vent and I know how you are feeling. I just wish I could permanently disappear.

 

[MikeyC]

I am feeling so incredibly crappy tonight. Actually I've felt fairly depressed all day, but now all I want to do is cry. :sad: Part of this is because I'm tired since I didn't sleep well. No sleep = increased anxiety for me. I've also had my fair share of pms, which is very close to being more along the lines of pmdd, so that hasn't been helping either. I'm just really tired of the constant emotional rollercoaster every single year. Or rather every year is more like 90% depression/anxiety/sadness/neutrality and 10% actual happiness. I'm just tired of feeling so alone in my life with this, with everything. I really just want to tell someone, I really want therapy, but I really have no idea how to even tell my mom, or anyone else for that matter, and I'm just so afraid of what to expect. (My dad works all the time, so I can't really tell him. Usually if I need something, mom comes first, then tells dad. Either way though I try not to rely on my parents for much at all.) We already dealt with my cousin this year and her mental issues, that was such a handful. I'm basically just afraid of getting the same reaction from my parents. That I'm "crazy."

I did locate a therapist's office this year, so I suppose that is some progress. I was surprised how close they were from my college (still need to drive to get there though), but I have yet to actually stop in the place and ask questions. That was something I wanted to do on my own without anyone actually knowing, but in my circumstances that's nearly impossible. I guess I need to stop being so private? Stop putting such a wall up all the time? I've been doing it for years now, so it's basically second nature. It makes me feel crappy after a while though, like I'm basically lying to everyone around me. Which I guess I kinda am because I'm protecting what vulnerability I have so I don't come across as weak.

I'm sorry for the depressing rant, especially on New Year's Eve (or New Year's Day for some of you who couldn't wait for the rest of us). I know I try not to predict anything or get my hopes up about a new year, rather I like to remain neutral, but I've recently been really anxious about it all.

Despite everything, I think you're doing really well with things. Sorry you're so depressed, and that 2013 holds something better for you.

My PM's are open if you need them.

 

[Nanita]

I am feeling so incredibly crappy tonight. Actually I've felt fairly depressed all day, but now all I want to do is cry. :sad: Part of this is because I'm tired since I didn't sleep well. No sleep = increased anxiety for me. I've also had my fair share of pms, which is very close to being more along the lines of pmdd, so that hasn't been helping either. I'm just really tired of the constant emotional rollercoaster every single year. Or rather every year is more like 90% depression/anxiety/sadness/neutrality and 10% actual happiness. I'm just tired of feeling so alone in my life with this, with everything. I really just want to tell someone, I really want therapy, but I really have no idea how to even tell my mom, or anyone else for that matter, and I'm just so afraid of what to expect. (My dad works all the time, so I can't really tell him. Usually if I need something, mom comes first, then tells dad. Either way though I try not to rely on my parents for much at all.) We already dealt with my cousin this year and her mental issues, that was such a handful. I'm basically just afraid of getting the same reaction from my parents. That I'm "crazy."

I did locate a therapist's office this year, so I suppose that is some progress. I was surprised how close they were from my college (still need to drive to get there though), but I have yet to actually stop in the place and ask questions. That was something I wanted to do on my own without anyone actually knowing, but in my circumstances that's nearly impossible. I guess I need to stop being so private? Stop putting such a wall up all the time? I've been doing it for years now, so it's basically second nature. It makes me feel crappy after a while though, like I'm basically lying to everyone around me. Which I guess I kinda am because I'm protecting what vulnerability I have so I don't come across as weak.

I´m sorry you´re feeling low. I also haven´t been able to sleep properly, and I really need it, I get so easily depressed and nervous AND phsyically ill, if I don´t get enough deep sleep.
I hope you will be able to see a therapist, yeah it´s a good thing to be able to be honest about these things and not pretend to be all right if u r not.

 

[Opaline]

I'm pretty pumped right now. Going down to the Navy recruitment center on Wednesday. It's right down the street from me, which is great.

I keep changing my life plans, it's getting kind of crazy. I really think I'm ready to do this, though. As long as I meet all the qualifications... I want to be a naval officer. Decision made.

 

[Phoenixx]

Don't be sorry for feeling depressed, this is the right forum to vent and I know how you are feeling. I just wish I could permanently disappear.

^ I often feel sorry for contributing negativity to the forum. I understand we all feel this way and need to vent, but I do know reading a lot of negative things doesn't help matters either.

I wouldn't want you to permanently disappear, nor anyone on this forum for that matter.

Despite everything, I think you're doing really well with things. Sorry you're so depressed, and that 2013 holds something better for you.

My PM's are open if you need them.

^ Thanks Mikey. I wish I thought I was doing so well, but I think it is also easier to see the positive things in someone else's life rather your own. Then again, I'm a natural pessimist and especially such when it concerns myself and my life.

I´m sorry you´re feeling low. I also haven´t been able to sleep properly, and I really need it, I get so easily depressed and nervous AND phsyically ill, if I don´t get enough deep sleep.
I hope you will be able to see a therapist, yeah it´s a good thing to be able to be honest about these things and not pretend to be all right if u r not.

^ I hope I can see this therapist too, but I need to do further research first. It'd be great if my health insurance covered the cost of appointments, or even most of it. I'm hoping that is the case, and of course that the costs aren't too ridiculously high. If it doesn't though, and if it is too expensive, I'm screwed.

 

[davidburke]

feeling lonely and really hopelessly depressed :sad:

 

[JuiceB]

I tried something a little different today at work. Everytime I had a negative thought I would tell myself "Stay Positive" repeatedly. I thought it would work until I realized I was talking out loud in front of people. Plus I must've said it a thousand times before the day was over.

 

[vj288]

I'm pretty pumped right now. Going down to the Navy recruitment center on Wednesday. It's right down the street from me, which is great.

I keep changing my life plans, it's getting kind of crazy. I really think I'm ready to do this, though. As long as I meet all the qualifications... I want to be a naval officer. Decision made.

That is fantastical, I hope it all goes well. It's good you have life plans even if they keep changing, I'm totally lost in most facets of my life as far as the future is concerned.

 

[gazelle]

I've joined a 90 day transformation contest,and so far the results have been completely the opposite. Instead of staying away from the computer and getting myself to do the things that I've mentioned, I've become addicted in reading other people's posts on how they've progressed.
BTW Happy new year!

 

[1BlackSheep]

I'm sorry for the depressing rant, especially on New Year's Eve (or New Year's Day for some of you who couldn't wait for the rest of us). I know I try not to predict anything or get my hopes up about a new year, rather I like to remain neutral, but I've recently been really anxious about it all.

This holiday season seems to have hit a lot of us really hard with depression, negative thoughts, and bad feelings in general. It can be very tough to find your way out of the darkness! I don't want to make any huge resolutions that likely won't be kept either. My main goal is to just make some sort of progress - even if it's small changes. Any progress is better than none!

I read this quote today which kind of inspired me: "Though no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending." ~Carl Bard.

Hoping the new year brings inspiration for a fresh start to those who want to change their current path in life!

 

[1BlackSheep]

I'm pretty pumped right now. Going down to the Navy recruitment center on Wednesday. It's right down the street from me, which is great.

I keep changing my life plans, it's getting kind of crazy. I really think I'm ready to do this, though. As long as I meet all the qualifications... I want to be a naval officer. Decision made.

I think this sounds like an excellent choice and could open a lot of doors for you in the future. Not only can you get money to pursue your education, you can possibly get on-the-job training in the medical field (or some other area that interests you), medical care benefits for life, VA home loans, preferred status for hiring at places like VA hospitals, etc. And, the opportunity to see the world and meet all kinds of new people from different walks of life. Hope it works out for you!

 

[Opaline]

Well, there goes that lovely dream. It's always something.

Apparently you have to be off antidepressants for a minimum of one year to be qualified to join the Navy (this automatically disqualifies me right now). If you have a history of depression/mental problems, it makes you less likely to get in, and you need to have documentation from the doctor who prescribed the meds for you that you are doing well and are stable.

I don't fit any of this, so I can't join the Navy. Seems a bit ridiculous considering that many, many people are put on an antidepressant at some point, but whatever... it's the military and they're strict for a reason.

I feel disappointed though - I really had my hopes up. Thought my future would be great. Now I just see hopelessness again. I hope things work out for me... I can't pay for college and I can't join the military. What's left for me but minimum wage jobs? Am I doomed? All because I procrastinated and had bouts of depression. I hate myself right now. If I find that I really am screwed for life job-wise, I don't want to live any more...

 

[ImNotMyIllness]

Well, there goes that lovely dream. It's always something.

Apparently you have to be off antidepressants for a minimum of one year to be qualified to join the Navy (this automatically disqualifies me right now). If you have a history of depression/mental problems, it makes you less likely to get in, and you need to have documentation from the doctor who prescribed the meds for you that you are doing well and are stable.

I don't fit any of this, so I can't join the Navy. Seems a bit ridiculous considering that many, many people are put on an antidepressant at some point, but whatever... it's the military and they're strict for a reason.

I feel disappointed though - I really had my hopes up. Thought my future would be great. Now I just see hopelessness again. I hope things work out for me...

Sorry to hear that! I know you saw the Navy as a way to pay for College. Maybe it's a blessing in disguise. Personally, I think it would suck. Yeah, for a few days it would be cool but beyond that-forget it!

 

[ImNotMyIllness]

Opaline. What were you studying?

 

[MikeyC]

I feel disappointed though - I really had my hopes up. Thought my future would be great. Now I just see hopelessness again. I hope things work out for me... I can't pay for college and I can't join the military. What's left for me but minimum wage jobs? Am I doomed? All because I procrastinated and had bouts of depression. I hate myself right now. If I find that I really am screwed for life job-wise, I don't want to live any more...

Rejections suck, no matter how it happens. I'm sorry, Opaline.

As far as being "doomed" is concerned, I would hardly think so. You're 21 if I remember correctly, right? There's still nothing stopping you from joining the Navy in a few years. You might be even more ready then than you are now. Even if that's not what you want to do later, you're still young. Society wants us to have everything figured out by the time we're 18, and we all know that's not the case. Stick with it, Opaline.

 

[NathanielWingatePeaslee]

I feel disappointed though - I really had my hopes up. Thought my future would be great. Now I just see hopelessness again. I hope things work out for me... I can't pay for college and I can't join the military. What's left for me but minimum wage jobs? Am I doomed? All because I procrastinated and had bouts of depression. I hate myself right now. If I find that I really am screwed for life job-wise, I don't want to live any more...

Aw, that's okay, sweetie. Everyone knows the navy is full of cannibals anyway.

Monty Python's Flying Circus - "Still no sign of land" and "The Undertaker" sketches - YouTube




<3

 

[ImNotMyIllness]

Rejections suck, no matter how it happens. I'm sorry, Opaline.

As far as being "doomed" is concerned, I would hardly think so. You're 21 if I remember correctly, right? There's still nothing stopping you from joining the Navy in a few years. You might be even more ready then than you are now. Even if that's not what you want to do later, you're still young. Society wants us to have everything figured out by the time we're 18, and we all know that's not the case. Stick with it, Opaline.

Mikey's right!