Lea
Banned
No. I am just saying that I am always on the defensive with everyone all the time - and I don't know why. Either I am incredibly stupid and no nothing about anything - or I am a deeply flawed weak individual... and whats more I get the feeling that there is a smug sense of satisfaction from people attempting to put me in my place. I never actually thought that everything that I felt - is seemingly so incorrect. I feel like every thought I have - I have to question it's validity. I am actually beginning to think that I might be a little simple. I actually used to think that I was a pretty decent person who stood up for good values - to look out for others, to protect and be patient with people. to be a good person.
Now... I don't know. Now I think - I just have it all wrong - Now I think my personality is flawed. That anything I do or say - is just wrong. I also feel like I am not taken seriously, nothing I say is worth anything and anything I do is unappreciated and pointless and has some kind of ulterior motive to it. But most of all - I simply feel stupid.
Happy 2013.
You still seem to repeat the same old crap but that´s not the way! I can see it isn´t. I think I would know how to at least show you the right path but you don´t see me as worthy of discussion. I guess it´s because you ask questions, but don´t want to be even slightly challenged about anything. You don´t seem to like the idea of discussing with someone as equals, it seems to me like you just want to hold on to your status quo which somehow retains you superiority, but don´t want to just open up and sincerely discuss the matter with people as equals. Instead working deeply with others through the issue discussed, you run away and then complain in the corner that noone likes and understands you. Did you do this test for example as I suggested yesterday Narcissistic Personality Disorder 101 Quiz : Melanie Tonia Evans
It could everyone at least make think and realize what they have problem with. That´s why I like tests generally. But I´ve never seen you do ANY on this site (oh except of the Myerst Briggs, sorry). Some people never do tests, it seems to me like they think they are better than others or think of the tests in a condescending way. Well of course it is nothing written in stone, but as I said, at least it makes people think and besides is fun.
You talk nicely, about equality and such, but I can´t help feeling there is something dark inside you, like a time bomb? Words are words, but somehow the reality behind it can be a bit different. Or partly maybe you´re ill inside which makes you avoid the challenge.. Probably you crave challenge in a way, because subconsciously you know it is the only thing that could help you to get rid of your demons (that´s why you´re writing a lot and ask a lot questions), but on the other hand are fearing it like hell and it makes you escaping it. Wanting to catch on to you and make you face it and work through it is like chasing a soap in water . I am not implying that I am all knowing or superior saying this, I am just sincerely saying what I think and feel. Is that bad? You came here on this forum asking us laic people so you must take in account we are no professionals. (But at the same time, even the professionals are not infallible).
Take this as my inner monologue without censorship. It may sound weird to you or some other people, but I´m just sorting out my thoughts about the matter Kiakaha .