And this is why I think I should stop right now talking, I don't know why I keep annoying people this way, I don't know why people doesn't tell me to shup the **** up, I only make people feel bad and you know it, those with who I talk to can't deny it....
All I want to say is that all of you are great people and shouldn't feel this way. All of you always make me feel better, but I end up saying something wrong and make people feel bad...
Everytime I try to say something I have to apologize, and people just keep forgiving me for politeness, but I know I'm doing wrong. I am so sorry I'm this way....
You got my point - you didn't read into this right, you weren't being annoying and did not drum up bad feelings for anybody. That's your bias lens over your eyes telling you this, the voices lying in your head. 🙂 Really Jonsey - you aren't doing wrong by opening up. And what you think is not the full story it's slanted by our inner voices.
NOW - I'll be honest I'm hypocritical there because I feel how you do I don't open up here much I try to be there for others and not myself. But we can't keep it all inside it rots away at your soul and grinds away the essence of your being. That's what friends, even ONLINE friends thousands of miles away are for. Don't have to do it publicly, privately, is better. My chatline is always open. (and I just charge in hugs 😀 *hugs* or... *man bumps Jones shoulder*. Brofist. 😀
You got my point - you didn't read into this right, you weren't being annoying and did not drum up bad feelings for anybody. That's your bias lens over your eyes telling you this, the voices lying in your head. 🙂 Really Jonsey - you aren't doing wrong by opening up. And what you think is not the full story it's slanted by our inner voices.
NOW - I'll be honest I'm hypocritical there because I feel how you do I don't open up here much I try to be there for others and not myself. But we can't keep it all inside it rots away at your soul and grinds away the essence of your being. That's what friends, even ONLINE friends thousands of miles away are for. Don't have to do it publicly, privately, is better. My chatline is always open. (and I just charge in hugs 😀 *hugs* or... *man bumps Jones shoulder*. Brofist. 😀
Yeah, sorry everyone for making it public.
(Another mistake to the list)
Yeah, sorry everyone for making it public.
(Another mistake to the list)
You're a stubborn hombre my friend! 😀 No mistakeeeee silly *takes Jone's list away*. Now go to the blackboard and write your name a four dozen times! 😀 Anyways, feel free to open privately at least! Look - I understand what you say and feel. So I'll leave it at that. Just DONT feel bad for anything! 🙂 (even tho prob will, all I can do is *hug*)
Hang in there Mr Jones, you're not annoying anyone I suspect, and there are people who matter who will listen, so keep expressing yourself, you are doing well.
Yeah, sorry everyone for making it public.
(Another mistake to the list)
Ahhhh, I now know exactly what you're talking about because I feel exactly the same way. Or maybe not, I'm not sure.
I always think of it as selfish to bring other people down with my problems, you know making them sad or feel bad for me. And I don't have a problem with other people doing it, but it's when I do it that it's a problem in my eyes. The conclusion I've come to is this problem is very closely related to self-esteem. You don't think your worth it, even if it isn't taking much away from others. I think a strand of low self-esteem is actually extreme selflessness. When you think so lowly of yourself, it's easy to think highly of everyone around you. And that it would be better for you to suffer than to take a little away from others. That's just me, I don't feel so bad posting it though in hopes someone will relate and feel better. And there's always the option of talking to strangers, people who don't really care much about you. Getting feedback to a stranger may make the person feel better in the end rather than worse, like they helped you (and hopefully did).
I feel like a stranger at work. There i try to hide my anxiety by putting lots of energy in trying to communicate with co-workers. Even saying stupid things to keep the conversations going on. Now i have been told several times that i'm talkactive but i still fake it to hide myself. Ofcourse people make fun of me but i need the job so bad for some reasons. They also treat me like i know little to nothing, it's very annoying.
I feel like a stranger at work. There i try to hide my anxiety by putting lots of energy in trying to communicate with co-workers. Even saying stupid things to keep the conversations going on. Now i have been told several times that i'm talkactive but i still fake it to hide myself. Ofcourse people make fun of me but i need the job so bad for some reasons. They also treat me like i know little to nothing, it's very annoying.
Play the guilt card for a few days. I'd try and make them feel bad by keeping quiet the next time you feel bullied. Just give them basic answers when they ask you something. If you can make it last a few days it will make them feel awkward. You will soon find out which colleagues are the ones who are the caring friendly ones. See it as a social experiment.
frustrated. After weeks of being nocturnal I finally got to bed at a great time, 8pm, only to be awoken by an excruciatingly loud tv from my sister's room at 12, and now i'm up at 4 am still.... gaaaaaah
Depressed and passive. I think I'm on the verge of just giving up trying to get help for my anxiety and depression. Fed up with reaching out and getting the same response. My family can't seem to comprehend the extent of how bad my anxiety and depression really are. My oldest sister just seems to think it's hysterical funny when I'm in a s*** mood and start ranting about my issues like this. I think that shows how seriously they take my problems.
I've also been questioning why I turned out the way I have, with regards to the anxiety, depression, and general low self-esteem. But my mum having none of it. She just quickly links my issues to me supposedly not accepting that I have a physical disability - bit hard not to when I was born with it.
Still pissed/depressed from last night. I slept peacefully, only to wake up a half hour ago pissed off. And then I couldn't get back to sleep, so here I am.
I'm honestly thinking of just giving my mother a call, even if it is about 9:30am, telling her how I feel. She did a good job last night making me feel like crap. That's the worst I've felt from one of her remarks in a long time.
I really shouldn't be talking about this. I'll shut up now.
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