Housebound for life.

[da_illest101]

if it wasn't for school or work I wouldn't leave my house. When I took time off from work and wasn't going to school, I didn't leave my house for 2 weeks. I would go outside for a few mins to catch some fresh air than back inside

 

[nafadda]

nafadda-ehh i agree to an extent thats its all about comfort but there is a life and world outside the comfort zone that can/should be lived.just say 5 years down the road you wake up one morning and wish to change and start living, will you be able to?

besides, those friends you have now probably wont stay around for too long if you keep avoiding them.thats the way it turned out with me.i mean, whats the purpose of being friends with someone that never wants to do anything with you?

I am WELL aware there is an outside world "out there"..I was part of it for MANY years.I just happen to enjoy this world MUCH better now...I must have OD'd on that outside world.Being popular is not all it's cracked up to be if you just keep thinking how much you want and need some solitude is it?? For me it wasn't.Now at least I feel better and do not have to act a certain way or look a certain way or smile on Q for people like I am a trained seal..hehehe..now I do things because I enjoy it and I chose to..so I do not worry about what is 'out there'..been there.done that..

I have friends that even after me not wanting to go anywhere with them these past years ,still ask me to go..I still say ,'thanks BUT no thanks"..now I just don't have the need to make excuses ..now I am able to just say NO..I use to feel like if I said no I also had to explain why I was saying no..thats NOT the case anymore

 

[nafadda]

Wow, you! We're very similar, right down to the midnight dog walks and the random bird sightings. I have owls too, barred owls I think they're called, and the sounds they make are absolutely captivating.

No eagles here, but lots of other birds and wildlife.

it's great isn't it..sometimes people ask why I enjoy this lifestyle like I do now,instead of how I use to live..I try and explain,but for the most part I already know that if I am trying to explain why,they probably won't get what I'm saying anyway

see you and I have got the 'in touch ' with nature thing going and it feels good and relaxed...my sister asked me how and why i can get so close to some of the woodland creatures here and i tried to explain that i think they feel non threatened from me ,as if they feel the calmness in me now.she freaks out if she's in her car and sees a black bear and i can sit outside and watch one without a problem.i try and explain seldom do these animals attack for no reason..oh well it's what I enjoy now.

so nice to see some others from a like mind that understands what I'm saying

 

[Shyangel]

^^Nanny Mcphee quote! Those movies are so cute.

I can so relate to all you guys. I only leave the house when I need to walk to the grocery store, which is every 2 days, but still. I don't leave for any other reason. I get out of the house for most of the day when my family gets payed, then I go out with my mom and sisters to get things for the house, but that's it. Nothing else. I never go to the movies, clothes shopping, out to eat, bowling, just to the grocery store. That doesn't sound like much of a life to me.

 

[WeirdyMcGee]

Agoraphobic.
I leave for doctor's appointments when it's necessary and lately; to help mom go and carry home groceries because we don't have a car and she's... old.
haha
The rest of the time, I stay confined to my bedroom.

 

[Deus_Ex_Lemur]

That's why I'm going to get a trailer or a tent and sleeping bag, then my home goes with ME! I'll be housebound out abound!

But seriously I know how it is, relate big time, esp recently, will until a week ago, I was housebound more thn I had been for a while. A reason I stopped coming here actually and ironically. But anyways, no ones alone here! We won't be housebound foreve!

 

[bsammy]

"that doesn't sound like much of a life to me"

because its not much of a life at all.simply put, its a half-life at best.

ms cloud-there is a difference between us and our friends though.they may not enjoy doing the things we do but it doesnt make them uncomfortable.whereas with us if we do the social things they like to do, it makes most of us uncomfortable, and that may be the reason we dont enjoy it.i do agree with you to an extent though as over the years i have learned to be comfortable with most social situations but i very rarely ENJOY it..so, why should i keep forcing myself to do these things then?just to seem more normal?i think we all need some sort of face to face socializing so we dont get too isolated and detached, maybe im wrong.internet chatting isnt the same.

im not housebound but im at the stage where i dont know what to do..i dont enjoy socializing very much but being a complete recluse isnt fun either, its simply not healthy..

 

[Ms Cloud]

over the years i have learned to be comfortable with most social situations but i very rarely ENJOY it..so, why should i keep forcing myself to do these things then?just to seem more normal?i think we all need some sort of face to face socializing so we dont get too isolated and detached, maybe im wrong.internet chatting isnt the same.

I think it depends on whether it's worth the effort to you. Any opportunity you have to socialize in real life, you have to ask yourself how much effort it's going to take, and compare that with the benefits you're likely to get out of it. In my case, it dawned on me at some point that the effort required (considering my limitations) always outweighed any real benefit to my life. So naturally I evolved away from it, leaning instead towards non-people-based interests.

But if you perceive a potential benefit in a social connection, then you'll be more disposed to put in the effort to make it work. As long as the two things are in reasonable proportion, it shouldn't be a problem.

Sorry if I've digressed from the main thread.

 

[OceanMist]

I like the debate that is going on right now in this thread. It has a lot to do with my problem right now.

When I read some of your posts, I get to thinking about how humans work.

Let's throw away the word, normal. That word is silly and meaningless here. I still don't understand why so much of society thinks being normal=healthy. I have friends that think normal=alcoholic. I think we should ignore what society thinks we should be doing, because they aren't us, they are them.

As I was saying, I want to look more into the human mind, not society. Those are separate here. My belief is that as humans, we feel incomplete without real life human connection. It's something that can't be replaced by an internet forum, at least not in a healthy way. It also can't be replaced by nature, a jog or drugs.

I'm in a form of isolation right now. I have a part-time job and have one friend which I don't even know will last, and I only have seen her once a week. I'm unhappy.

Part of the reason I'm in these forums is to find an answer. What should I do? I've never had such a hard decision in my life with anxiety and/or depression waiting at every option. If I stay here in isolation, it would be easier, but i've had suicidal thought problems for much of my life after junior high which would mean this lifestyle is dangerous for me by being alone.

My other options are to either go back to my shady alcoholic friends and hang out with them or try to make new friends. All these options come with a lot of problems and the options of being around people come with a ton of fear, anxiety and boredom.

I feel like maybe if I get some ideas from some of you have or have had similar issues, that maybe you could help me come to a decision. I think bsammy said it well, I don't know what to do. Unfortunately, society's answer to me (yes, they have told me this) is to just go out and talk to people. It's not that easy. I hardly talk and am very shy in social situations. They make me uncomfortable and I have all these problems.

I once thought the solution was simple, but now I see that it's complicated. I want to try to find the best decision so I can have the courage to go through with that decision. Right now, I'm not committed much, which means I don't have enough enthusiasm on doing what's best.

 

[coyote]

I think it depends on whether it's worth the effort to you....

i really think this is an important idea

whether we realize it or not, we're deriving some sort of benefit from NOT interacting with the world

so the question we need to ask ourselves is what is our bottom line?

some of us need to get out of the house to get cigarettes - we simply can't bear to live without them

some of us need to interact with and have physical contact with members of the opposite sex for the same reason

some of obviously need the safety and comfort of avoiding coming in contact with the world MORE than we need the other things

so maybe, if it helps, instead of trying to figure out what we are capable of, we can ask ourselves what CAN'T we live WITHOUT that we're willing to put forth the effort to obtain?

start from there - use that as the first step to get our momentum moving forward

 

[bsammy]

OceanM-well i think the older members here(30s and 40s) basically went through the same thing you are right now.forcing yourself out socially or into relationships and they sat back and looked at the effort versus reward and came to the conclusion it was lopsided in favor of effort..so they somehow came to accept themselves for who they are and decided to isolate themselves.they found enough hobbies to give them contentment and have somehow accepted their lives.you may have more social endurance than them or may enjoy socializing more than they did, have less anxiety, its hard to say..

in my case eventhough i have hobbies i just cant see myself becoming a recluse and being 'fine' with it.no matter how i would try and justify it or whatever mental magic tricks i try to use, i just wouldnt be able to accept that lifestyle.problem is, i rarely enjoy socializing, the effort i put into it is rarely worth the reward i get out of it.about the only reason i go out and socialize anymore is because it makes me fee more normal..

 

[nafadda]

life is NOT one size fits ALL!
I refuse to do ANYTHING to "try" and feel normal..why would I if I feel better now being reclusive..I guess if one has some life experience behind them this is far easier to understand,otherwise all the explaining would still not make sense to some,

I mean take Bridgette bardot,,sex symbol ,quit making movies to be a recluse..Take Betty PAge,,she did the same thing,There is a long list of people who opted to do it.Most had lived VERY full ,VERY Interactive lives with too many people around is why they chose that life style and enjoy it fully.

But if someone has never lived a life style like that when they were younger ,of course it may not be understandable.All I know is to say it is NOT "normal" or healthy ,when in fact it can be quite the opposite and If I see someone wanting to be "normal" as they say(I don't much care for that word normal because what is normal for me may not be normal for someone else),,well I never cared for such large generalizations as to what makes one person happy is for everyone,to me thats like saying we all must live the same EXACT way and like the same EXAct things..how is that"normal"??to me it is quite the opposite of normal or healthy.
.

google famous recluses and look at the list,many seem quite sane,most were exposed to lots of people and made a choice.Because why would a person who is not happy in life be able to tell a person what is best or not normal for the happy person in the choice they made..a bit confused with that one.

I still think unless a person knows all a person may have done in life to call it abnormal or unhealthy is far from fact.

some others

Famous Recluses | Gallery | POWERWALL

i can't tell people what is "normal' or what isn't..i say if doing what others want me to do is "normal" ,I will have to pass,,been there.done that

 

[MikeyC]

life is NOT one size fits ALL!

You're right, but try telling that to many people.

Famous Recluses | Gallery | POWERWALL

Interesting link. It's strange seeing celebrities as recluses.

 

[9407]

I leave the house for school, food(grocery shopping, fast food) and short walks sometimes. The only day I don't go out at all is Sunday.

 

[nafadda]

You're right, but try telling that to many people.


Interesting link. It's strange seeing celebrities as recluses.

..mickey.if you think about it,there is no reason to have to explain.I mean a person can explain if the wish to,and after that if people still don't "get it",they just don't and all the explaining in the world may never make them understand.after a while if someone tells me what is right for my life I would have ask them just how they would know what is RIGHT for me.what will they do next,tell me how I must dress,how I must think,how I must live ..at what point would it stop?? at what point would I not feel like a lemming jumping off a cliff just because the one in front of me was,If that were the case I wouldn't need my own brain now would I??

most people I know have tatoos for example.MANY claim they are making a statement with theirs..ok?? that fine with me,I have no problem with it,BUT i opted for NO tatoos to make my own statement i guess.My statement is I just don't want a tatoo.pretty simple,Why complicate it.

yes as you can see by that partial list there are some VERY famous people who did just fine being reclusive,and that is just a small example,I know many more that could be added to it.i just put that list on to show that many a what is called 'normal' person choses a life style..why do they chose a reclusive one?? BECAUSE THEY CAN

 

[MikeyC]

most people I know have tatoos for example.MANY claim they are making a statement with theirs..ok?? that fine with me,I have no problem with it,BUT i opted for NO tatoos to make my own statement i guess.My statement is I just don't want a tatoo.pretty simple,Why complicate it.

This is very good. Your whole post was good but I'll single this out. Tattoos are a good way to express who you are and what you're all about - but not everybody is keen on it. I express myself with what I wear.

I know a girl who is tattoo crazy, and my best friend wants no tattoos ever. I am impartial, but too indecisive, so it's a no-go right now. But you've made your decision and that's all you can really ask of yourself.

 

[dottie]

if you are living off of government handouts because you enjoy the lifestyle better... you should be ashamed.

 

[nafadda]

if you are living off of government handouts because you enjoy the lifestyle better... you should be ashamed.

well if thats the case those people may just be lazy i would guess.i wouldn't know .I know i sure didn't work and buy my place through government handouts.BUT i sure had to pay into that good ol' system for ones that just didn't want to work or ones that just wanted to sit back and have kids they couldn't support. but they still received all kind of free stuff for NOT working..not my style.NEVER wanted kids

 

[MikeyC]

well if thats the case those people may just be lazy i would guess.i wouldn't know .I know i sure didn't work and buy my place through government handouts.BUT i sure had to pay into that good ol' system for ones that just didn't want to work or ones that just wanted to sit back and have kids they couldn't support. but they still received all kind of free stuff for NOT working..not my style.NEVER wanted kids

I think part of my taxes are paying for the psycho family two houses up from me. That does not sit well with me.

Now that I think of it, that house, plus the two families on either side of me, are good reasons to be housebound. ::

 

[Kiwong]

I was almost housebound 5 years ago due to ill health. I'm getting out more than ever now

When I get out of the house, I enjoy solitary and independent activities the most.
Going for a run, taking nature photos. Even the activities I do involving people I enjoy most in my own company. I find trying to interact with people is too intense and creates a lot of sadness in me when I fail.