Have you ever tried to get a girlfriend or boyfriend?
- Thread starter IamThisOne
- Start date
Phoenixx
Well-known member
^ Definitely this. It's weird because I've always had guy friends, but once I develop feelings for a guy friend, I don't act on it. I always just keep it at friendship because I'm too afraid to even pursue something further, no matter how bad I may want a relationship. So, no I've never tried to get a boyfriend.
CosmicNeurotica
Banned
If you don't try, you'll stay single forever. You'll never have those experiences. It's never all roses. In fact you'll get stuck by most of the thorns. But if you don't try, you'll never get to smell the rose at the top.
Surprises are what make the world go round. More spontaneity leads to more surprises.
Yep, some tries failed and some succeed.
I have experienced weird situations though.The world is full of surpises.
Surprises are what make the world go round. More spontaneity leads to more surprises.
CosmicNeurotica
Banned
lol, classic Coyote
Felgen
Well-known member
Actually, not putting too much focus on getting a girlfriend and instead focusing on having a great date works.
Just watch out for bunny boilers if you use the internet...
I've never tried, despite how much I would like to have one, and despite I know that the plan of hiding below the sofa and wait for things to fix themselves won't work out.
sucettes
Well-known member
I was never interested in getting a boyfriend. I've always had the attitude that I don't need anyone and I like spending time by myself. Then when you least expect it - it happens. I will try to say a few things now, hope it makes sense. Remember that not all girls thinks like me and it's all a matter about taste and experience. I hope this makes sense at least a little bit.
I do NOT find it sexy when a guy tries too hard to get a girlfriend, tries so hard that he almost looks desperate. To be single is not a bad thing and when you find the right girl it just happens. It's nothing you can plan. And to go from date to date, after being rejected isn't good either because that makes you look desperate. And women might think that you just try to settle for second best since the first one didn't work out.
And do not think (or say) stuff like this "I don't deserve a girlfriend, no one wants me blah blah blah". Self pity is not sexy. This might be the way you feel, but these negative thoughts are not good for you and how can you ever be in any relationship when you keep on putting yourself down like this? It's easier said than done, but try to be positive.
A good way to get to know people (if you're shy) is the internet. You can go on forums that interests you and start posting there. Then you can start making friends with the other members and you will start talking in private. This can lead to great friendship or a relationship. And the best thing is that you have the same interest because everyone's at a forum are there to discuss that particular thing, it can be anything from music to a game, even this place, lol. Obviously you should meet before going into a relationship with each other. I think being in one without not even meeting first is a bit silly and people won't take it serious.
I don't like dating sites, I really don't. When I think about dating sites I just see a lot of desperate lonely people in front of me. I'm NOT saying that this is the case though. The reason why I feel like this might be because I helped a guy in his 40s to set up a dating site. After a few days he was hitting on ME. I'm 18 and it was obvious that he just wanted to get laid or was desperate to find someone. He would take anyone who said yes. Not nice. So at least I prefer to leave the dating site out of it. It becomes too obvious and it's too much pressure. Love doesn't work in that way, just because you're on a dating site with just singles does not mean that one of them will be the right woman for you. Love does not work that way. It has worked out for some people though, and I am happy for them! Most times I just hear negative things about it though. And it really hurts when you talk to someone, starts to get really interested and then suddenly she just stops talking to you. It's better to build a friendship first.
The place where to go could be anywhere. Love is something you can't plan. It can happen when you're in the park, at the movies, in the pub, etc. To me it happened when I was on holiday, after a few drinks.
I do NOT find it sexy when a guy tries too hard to get a girlfriend, tries so hard that he almost looks desperate. To be single is not a bad thing and when you find the right girl it just happens. It's nothing you can plan. And to go from date to date, after being rejected isn't good either because that makes you look desperate. And women might think that you just try to settle for second best since the first one didn't work out.
And do not think (or say) stuff like this "I don't deserve a girlfriend, no one wants me blah blah blah". Self pity is not sexy. This might be the way you feel, but these negative thoughts are not good for you and how can you ever be in any relationship when you keep on putting yourself down like this? It's easier said than done, but try to be positive.
A good way to get to know people (if you're shy) is the internet. You can go on forums that interests you and start posting there. Then you can start making friends with the other members and you will start talking in private. This can lead to great friendship or a relationship. And the best thing is that you have the same interest because everyone's at a forum are there to discuss that particular thing, it can be anything from music to a game, even this place, lol. Obviously you should meet before going into a relationship with each other. I think being in one without not even meeting first is a bit silly and people won't take it serious.
I don't like dating sites, I really don't. When I think about dating sites I just see a lot of desperate lonely people in front of me. I'm NOT saying that this is the case though. The reason why I feel like this might be because I helped a guy in his 40s to set up a dating site. After a few days he was hitting on ME. I'm 18 and it was obvious that he just wanted to get laid or was desperate to find someone. He would take anyone who said yes. Not nice. So at least I prefer to leave the dating site out of it. It becomes too obvious and it's too much pressure. Love doesn't work in that way, just because you're on a dating site with just singles does not mean that one of them will be the right woman for you. Love does not work that way. It has worked out for some people though, and I am happy for them! Most times I just hear negative things about it though. And it really hurts when you talk to someone, starts to get really interested and then suddenly she just stops talking to you. It's better to build a friendship first.
The place where to go could be anywhere. Love is something you can't plan. It can happen when you're in the park, at the movies, in the pub, etc. To me it happened when I was on holiday, after a few drinks.
Last edited:
sucettes
Well-known member
YEEEESSSS!!!!! Exactly what I was trying to say, lol.
kihira
1
you can get babies at Woolies, I've seen them in people's shopping trolleys
Kiwong
Well-known member
Yes, I always have trouble at the auto checkout with girlfriends and babies.
"please put the item in the bagging area." They won't fit.
NihilSlayer
Well-known member
Maybe the best way to approach this is from the evolutionary perspective: people are prone to favor attractive qualities and behaviors on a genetic level, and by and large (while these do differ a bit across cultures) the tendency to seek out individuals with certain traits and characteristics occurs ubiquitiously. For example, physical attraction is normally equated in bilateral facial symmetry (for both genders), an upsidedown triangle-like body shape (for men), and the classic hourglass-like body shape (for women). A preference for these features is ingrained in us genetically because they are harbingers that portend the successful birth of healthy offspring and being able to procur ample resources from the environment. These things still hold true in modern times even though the nature of our societies has made human interaction and relationships a bit more complex and less obvious (e.g., you don't have to be able to kill a wild boar with your hands to survive in the modern western world, nor does everyone want to have children, but the basic body proportions of attraction still hold true)... So-- while it might be at odds with your general nature (and I imagine it is for all of us here seeing as we have social phobia)-- if you want to attract the opposite sex (and you're a man) maybe try showcasing your virility by engaging in an awesome feat of endurance or strength whilst giving off an aura of the sound, stable mind necessary to be a good provider (e.g., don't use expletives, because this is socially unacceptable behavior, and good providers know how to work within the confines of the system, because the system is now that wild boar). Maybe try going to a local mall or commercial center and look for the largest flight of stairs you can find there; then wait until an attractive lass is in view venturing so as to climb the stairs. Rush into action: dressed in the height of fashion, nimbly rush up the stairs, even taking some of them 2 and 3 steps at a time! Retain a rigid body and good posture and try not to look sweaty or winded. When you get to the top turn around and catch her eye, maybe giving a few decisive pelvic thrusts for good measure. Then, saunter over to a refreshment stand and buy 2 icecreams or something. The lass will consciously think (hm... he must be in a hurry perhaps... Was he looking at me? hm...I am not sure), but unconsciously (I predict this one might provide me with good seed that will produce many healthy offspring, and because he's so fit, viril, and well dressed, he will provide for all of us very well. Possible mate.). THis is just your foot in the door though; now you rely on your sensitive personality and good nature to woo her (e.g., don't give off creepy, slick, used-car-salesmanesque vibes). With a smile, blatantly lie saying "oh dear, I got this extra icecream for free because they were out of butter peacan, would you care to share it with me? If you are nice and not too creepy she'll say "sure"... or she'll think you put GHB in the icecream and run away telling a security guard. Seriously, this worked all the time in the 50's I'll bet... Use a spoon maybe and eat some of it, or better yet-- just ask her which one she'd prefer. Yes, you are sort of initiating a relationship based on a lie, and she's sure to learn you are shy, but those viril strides will remian in her mind until you prove your excellence equally in other spheres...
Last edited: