girls... this is a question for you

[Kiwong]

A whole generation of women have voted by not dating me. In hindsight I think they made the right choice, I am quiet and shy, but in many ways pretty well mixed up.

 

[Luke1993]

Not saying this is true for every girl

But most girl's i see/know go out with pricks, who think there better than anyone and get cheated on :/ and it's obvious there like that.

They say theres no nice guys around, yeah there is. They just rather just the loud mouth prick, instead of a nice quite guy. All well, what can you do.

Next time you read my mind ask my permission first!

 

[Rembrandt Broam]

Not saying this is true for every girl

But most girl's i see/know go out with pricks, who think there better than anyone and get cheated on :/ and it's obvious there like that.

They say theres no nice guys around, yeah there is. They just rather just the loud mouth prick, instead of a nice quite guy. All well, what can you do.

Someone (a guy) once told me that all guys will cheat. The ones that actually don't only lack either the opportunity or the cojones, ie. they're too afraid of getting caught. I don't if that's true. I'd like to think it isn't, but my experience of guys when they're not around women (and therefore talking and behaving how they really feel) makes me suspect that it might be. ::

 

[Liam17]

Someone (a guy) once told me that all guys will cheat. The ones that actually don't only lack either the opportunity or the cojones, ie. they're too afraid of getting caught. I don't if that's true. I'd like to think it isn't, but my experience of guys when they're not around women (and therefore talking and behaving how they really feel) makes me suspect that it might be. ::

I doubt that, I'd never cheat, even if i had the opportunity.

One reason is, whats point in being with someone if your just gunna shag someone else

Secondly, men and women cheat. It's down to the person, they don't have to, they chose to, most of them are idiots as well.

 

[Liam17]

Next time you read my mind ask my permission first!

I will do

I speak the truth. Women know what these guys are like, but yet chose them over the shy guys.

Sometimes i think i'm not good enough, but then its like. If you wanna be cheated on fine. I'll be better off in the future, with a job. Since i actually care about my eduction, not acting 'tough' or 'cool'.

 

[unleashed]

theres more than two types of man its not like its gotta be one or the other..its just a case of finding someone that sort of fits with you..living to a certain profile is just..fake.

 

[Sea Bass]

Genuineness. Indeed.

 

[NathanielWingatePeaslee]

I'm going to have to agree with you on this one. I thought this article was funny: Alt Text: The Nice Guy’s Guide to Realizing You’re Not That Nice | Underwire | Wired.com

That's freakin' brilliant!

There are any number of geek guys running around out there without the love and companionship that many people and all golden retrievers deserve. Sometimes these guys sit down and try to figure out why they’re living a life devoid of love, romance, sex and discussions about whose hair it is in the shower drain.

They undertake a deep self-assessment, questioning all their long-cherished beliefs about themselves, and this is what they conclude: They’re too nice. And that’s hilarious!

Guys, you’re not “too nice.” That’s like saying you can’t get seated at an L.A. restaurant because you’re too famous.

 

[Feathers]

lol Cool article, yup.

There's also a bunch of articles and online sites, there are books and even courses on how to learn to flirt or communicate with girls or women... I think there's even a book 'for nice guys' (haven't read it tho.. lol)

You can learn a lot about how to attract girls or women.. and how to communicate effectively and maintain a happy relationship (which is usually a different set of books.. including cooking books ha ha..!!)
Communication is very important.. And courage to approach (like for jobs, it may be a numbers thing)...

If you're a nice & sweet guy and she DOESN'T KNOW you like her, or you never really asked her out, how is she supposed to know? Girls aren't equipped with radars that read minds-??

You may talk to her, listen to her... do you also TRULY show her you like her? If not, she may think you might like her just as a friend too - or that you might like talking/chatting to her and nothing more.. or that you might actually like her friend more..?

Even if she knows or has a hunch (sometimes these things can be intuitive), maybe she sees you as a 'friend' - maybe some guys are just not her type (eg maybe smoke and she wants a non-smoker) or you waited too long before showing you're attracted to her or there was bad timing or something.. In some cases things may still turn around, in some cases, it might be better to find someone new..

If you're very nice, she might also think you might deserve someone better, and that she's not nice enough for you...?
It's not wise to put women on pedestal, especially if you don't know them so well..

Also, nice & sweet doesn't need to be boring, right? You can have a sense of humor etc too... And even if you have all that, there are no guarantees in life.. Maybe you are compatible with someone, maybe not..

Even if you don't have a sense of humor, you can work on that And some girls may share your unique way of looking at things etc. Some girls even prefer 'serious' guys...

Puma wrote it well, Emaa too.. A lot of characteristics and factors can be involved.. And everyone is a bit different..

 

[dutchguy]

Great article, and a very good rebuttal to all those people who say that the "nice guys never get the girl"

However, I absolutely loathe it when someone (like this article) tells me that the solution to all my problems is having "self-confidence". Well thank you, that would have never occurred to me. Wow, all this time I thought self-doubt was going to do it for me! This is like saying that the solution to being poor is "just getting money".

 

[Sial Axetder]

Read article, not sure I learned anything I didn't know. I think I like walking.

 

[NathanielWingatePeaslee]

Read article, not sure I learned anything I didn't know. I think I like walking.

From what I've seen of you, you're more likely to actually be a nice guy rather than whine about your niceness being what the problem is.

However, I absolutely loathe it when someone (like this article) tells me that the solution to all my problems is having "self-confidence". Well thank you, that would have never occurred to me. Wow, all this time I thought self-doubt was going to do it for me! This is like saying that the solution to being poor is "just getting money".

I agree, that bit was pretty useless. I mean it's true, yeah, but not helpful.

 

[Sial Axetder]

From what I've seen of you, you're more likely to actually be a nice guy rather than whine about your niceness being what the problem is.

Me, a nice guy. *looks all around the empty room* Of course I am. ::

 

[Sinar_Matahari]

I wonder how guys would feel if women turned things around and started complaining that men say they want an intelligent, strong woman but only go for the stupid and weak ones? Of course, there are men out there who are like that, but the reason why you don't find many women on here complaining is because that is not the kind of guy who we would pursue. So even if women really did prefer jerks who treat them badly, why are you so angry that the dim wits aren't interested in you? Is it because you really do want a stupid woman? Are you validating the stereotype that men prefer stupid, weak-minded women? Just throwing that out there.
Btw, this isn't directed at the men who have common sense. You all know who you are.

 

[NGP]

You sound like you have really low self esteem dude. You're thinking about and asking a question regarding a woman's fidelity. I'm really leaning towards the idea that you think consciously/subconsciously that you have nothing to "offer." Try to work on your self esteem. You kind of sound like a guy who uses delusions as a self defense mechanism. Not to insult you, but showing off or telling your self how good you are (if this is what you do) is your way of keeping your feelings of not being worth some one's time at bay. I used to be like that. Really take the time to think about your good traits. If you can't find any, think harder, they're there dude trust me. Getting a pretty girl is hard work my friend, and you want it to be that way. If that isn't the case, the girl you're going for is sleazy.

It's kind of funny, but this post reminds me of a particular instance of an episode, in a show, I was watching. The show was about match making... I can't quite remember the name of it. Any way, there was this guy who hired a women who specialized in matchmaking because he wanted to have a serious relationship. The matchmaker suggested he go see a therapist to aid in the matchmaking process. The guy did what he was told and saw the therapist. The therapist and the guy had a discourse, one thing led to another, and the conversation led to the therapist, who happened to be a little old lady who was a retired psychologist, asking the guy what he wanted in a woman. In addition to this, the therapist also wanted him to list what he wanted in a women in order of most to least desired. The guy answered: I want a woman to be motherly, caring, understanding,-- and was then interrupted by the therapist. The guy was kind of stunned, and then little old lady said: "what do you really want David (I think that was his name)?" The guy then listed some other traits and he was once again interrupted. This time she said: "what you want is sex." She then went on to say that she had lived a decent amount of years on this earth and went on to talk about how men emphasize on looks. Guys definitely go for that pretty girl, take it from me, I'm a guy. If you want what you want, you're going to need to work hard on your self esteem my friend. If you want her to love you, you're going to have to love yourself.

I used to feel like such a pig, but after a while I realized that chicks just as us guys have their own wants and desires as well. Many girls want a confident guy that can provide. Work on your confidence and social skills. Chicks care a lot about that stuff dude.

Well, that's my take on all of this. Good luck my friend.

One of the few objective and logical answers in this article. There are another few but most of them are just trying to piss me off. Brilliant dude, and thanks!

 

[Sinar_Matahari]

Great article, and a very good rebuttal to all those people who say that the "nice guys never get the girl"

However, I absolutely loathe it when someone (like this article) tells me that the solution to all my problems is having "self-confidence". Well thank you, that would have never occurred to me. Wow, all this time I thought self-doubt was going to do it for me! This is like saying that the solution to being poor is "just getting money".

I've been giving what you wrote some thought and I've come to a conclusion. If there is anything which I find more important and attractive than self-confidence in a man (or woman) it's self-respect.

 

[Felgen]

I wonder how guys would feel if women turned things around and started complaining that men say they want an intelligent, strong woman but only go for the stupid and weak ones? Of course, there are men out there who are like that, but the reason why you don't find many women on here complaining is because that is not the kind of guy who we would pursue. So even if women really did prefer jerks who treat them badly, why are you so angry that the dim wits aren't interested in you? Is it because you really do want a stupid woman? Are you validating the stereotype that men prefer stupid, weak-minded women? Just throwing that out there.
Btw, this isn't directed at the men who have common sense. You all know who you are.

Women who go for a-holes aren't always stupid. I'm not saying that all (or the majority, for that matter) women prefer jerks, but most of the women I know who do, are healthy and perfectly normal in most ways.

A lot of men wouldn't mind effing an unintelligent, but attractive woman--but nobody wants a long-term relationship with her. The reason is that the stupid ones are easy to impress. Most men who sleep with dim-witted women admit it, though...

 

[Sinar_Matahari]

.... but most of them are just trying to piss me off.

I think I can speak for others as well as myself when I tell you that no one intended to piss you off.

Sometimes we ask a question expecting an answer that we like rather than an answer that is logical or honest. If you were pissed off, could it be because you didn't get the answer you wanted or didn't like the answers that you got?

 

[Sinar_Matahari]

Women who go for a-holes aren't always stupid. I'm not saying that all (or the majority, for that matter) of all women prefer jerks, but most of the women I know who do, are healthy and perfectly normal in most ways.

Alright. That's fair. A person does not have to be stupid to make stupid decisions. I've made some stupid decisions myself even if I'm fairly intelligent. Still, when it came to a guy not treating me well or my not being happy with a guy, I did not stay with him. I think this is due to a mixture of self-respect and selfishness.

Though, I've been wondering whether one person's idea of ***hole is the same as another person's. Then there's the fact that two people in a relationship know each other more than a person looking in. Someone might have one experience with me and decide I'm a bitch, but then you can ask my husband and he'll tell you that although he knows I can be a bitch, he knows that I am also sweet and caring.

I suppose when I say that women who stay with men who treat them badly are stupid, I'm speaking from cases I've known where the women were not very bright and were in a relationship with men who treated them horribly.

 

[Sea Bass]

I think I can speak for others as well as myself when I tell you that no one intended to piss you off.

Sometimes we ask a question expecting an answer that we like rather than an answer that is logical or honest. If you were pissed off, could it be because you didn't get the answer you wanted or didn't like the answers that you got?

Agreed. Everyone has different views.