Fitting in (as a child/teenager vs. as an adult)

[Agent_Violet]

How old are you? 29

Did you 'fit in' with people at school? Why do you think you did/didn't?NO. I most definitely did not fit in.I never felt funny enough,smart enough,pretty enough,etc...

If you have finished school, have you found it easier or harder or the same to 'fit in' with people at work? Why do you think you do/don't?I don't have to fit in with people at work bc I'm their manager.It's one of the great luxuries of being in charge of things...you don't have to fit the mold.

Has not fitting in been a main trigger for your social anxietyIt used to be when i was younger.I'd have panic attacks when people were angry at me at school or when someone was talking trash about me behind my back. Thankfully, fitting in isn't a concern of mine anymore.

 

[Nathália]

I'm 18.
I never fit in anywhere, even at pre school or 1st grade. I was always the fat, ugly, shy, cluless loser who can't ever be friends with anyone. I didn't quite fit with my friends either, I always felt like a tag along. What's weird though we had another kid in school who was just as shy as I am, if not more. The people she used to hang out with called her a freak, loser, clown face all the time. I tried my best to include her but oneday I overheard her calling me a loser. I must be seriously messed up haha.

I can relate, even my teachers bullied me, then I had to go home to be bullied some more. In preschool my teachers would purposely isolate and scorn me, then in kindergarten I had a music teacher that gave everyone in the class instruments but me, then I had to deal with being picked at and playing by myself on the playground. It went on every single year on my school life. I stayed "hard headed" for a while until it all cam crashing down at 16. I couldn't take anymore s____ from people, I got tired of defending myself.

I think shyness is an unattractive trait or it is viewed as "weird". People annoy me. I take comfort in the fact that I can find people with similar stories, but on the other hand it is disturbing that so many people are treated this way. That person was far from a friend. This is the mentality that makes me depressed because I have an everlasting strong dislike for many human beings because of what they do to each other.

I never really fitted in with anyone either and that does not signify that something is wrong with someone because they don't. I want to stop caring about many or most people and live my life, but the flashbacks won't stop plus the environment reinforces that which is why people think something is wrong when it is not.

 

[Facethefear]

Reading, remembering, agreeing and hoping I never harmed anyone.

 

[psych]

In high school it mattered. Now, it does a little, at work. But not my main trigger.

I've never really fit in anywhere. I've always had eccentric friends. Not typically part of a group.

 

[Foxface]

It was better when I was a kid, the older you are, the harder it is to make friends. Pople get older, they gt issues, they judge people more, peer pressure. Things change.

 

[Starry]

I'm 26, never fitted in at school - in the early primary years I was different from the others because of being involved with the Jehovah's Witnesses - no Christmas, Birthdays, etc... My family were free of the religion from the age of 7 until I was 13... When again, no Christmas and Birthdays separated me further from people... Not that I cared... I never fitted in anyway... I was just so different. I didn't want to play with other "noisy" children, I wanted to be quiet and read a book or play on my own. Same at secondary school... I fitted in a little better, but I was still too different - the main reason anyone spoke to me was to get help with their homework... I was known as silent but very intelligent and artistic... Not a bad way to be known lol. The only problem I had was that I felt lonely.

Now I fit in with people even less. I couldn't care less about so much in "popular culture", I have very different musical tastes from everyone I know... I'm into different books, films, everything... But it bothers me even less than it did at school... I just realise that what I have is so much better for me, and if other people can't appreciate it, then who cares? Though, I admit, I sometimes feel lonely in that regard...

Not fitting in has certainly not been a trigger for my social phobia... If anything the social phobia helped to cause my not fitting in lol.

 

[Silatuyok]

I'm 28.

In highschool I had one best friend and we were the misfits and we didn't care.

Nowadays, I find that whether or not I fit in has a lot to do with my specific environment. I fit in more or less at my new job, but I was a total outcast at my old one.

My social anxiety triggers are mainly these: being assertive at work, especially with my boss or people "above" me. Second, I find it extremely difficult to be around my fiance's old friends and family. I'm okay enough around his new friends, oddly. If I could conquer these two aspects I'd be a happy camper.

 

[Meggy0001]

I am 17 so still in school, to be honest I have no idea what triggered my SA :/ either I don't remember it or it seems one day I didn't have it then the next I did, I think then it wasn't as severe but it seems as its getting worse as I grow up :'(

 

[Hellhound]

What do you mean with "fitting in"?

If it's being able to relate to people, then maybe. I get nervous and annoyed in groups where I feel like an outcast due to people and I being different. That happened a lot at school and it even caused people to bully me, which probaby made my SA worse.

Now if you meant not being able to be like others, then no. Because I never really cared about that. I am what I am and if people don't like it, their problem.

 

[squidgee]

I'm currently 15 years old in high school and only until about the start of 2011 did the SA really come through. I'd have sad and anxious moments every now and then but it really became more noticeable in year 9 since I changed schools.

Right now, I only have 2 friends and even they're not that close like we don't hang out outside of school. I guess I have a good number of acquaintances who could become potential friends but it's so difficult to approach them and talk. I always overthink things and end up being self-conscious of the littlelest things. I guess my fear of rejection and not fitting in are my main causes for SA.

Hopefully things will get better later in life.

 

[vj288]

How old are you?

20

Did you 'fit in' with people at school? Why do you think you did/didn't?

I would say no, in high school I played sports and got good grades, had a handful of friends I could talk to about this or that, but to most of the school that's all they knew about me - I got good grades, I played sports, and sometimes talked to so-and-so. I was mute and never hung out with people outside school, people just didn't know a thing about me making it impossible to fit in anywhere. Fitting in was never important to me really though, I cared more about being accepted I think, and the fear of being rejected just kept me from opening myself up at all.

If you have finished school, have you found it easier or harder or the same to 'fit in' with people at work? Why do you think you do/don't?

Since high school I've had as much luck, but I'm not really trying to fit in, I just don't fit in, unless you count the internet I have the same mindset as high school though, it's not as important to me as people just accepting who I am rather then fitting in as one of them.

Has not fitting in been a main trigger for your social anxiety?

No

 

[lyricalliaisons]

How old are you?
30

Did you 'fit in' with people at school? Why do you think you did/didn't?
No. I've never been like other people. I don't think the way they think or do the things they do.

If you have finished school, have you found it easier or harder or the same to 'fit in' with people at work? Why do you think you do/don't?
I'm still in college. I didn't start until shortly before I turned 26. I've never been able to work due to the severity of my anxiety, but I never tried fitting in when I was taking on campus college classes. I'm not like other people, know that I'm not, and don't try to fit in with them. I never have.

Has not fitting in been a main trigger for your social anxiety?
No. Not being like other people makes me self conscious, but it's not why I have social anxiety. I think I was born with it. Not fitting in with other people is just an unfortunate side effect of my problems but doesn't usually cause my anxiety. Sometimes, in certain occasions, it can though.