finally got my first girlfriend....

[man on the hill]

....well, I should say had my first girlfriend. we started going out I guess right after christmas. I spent new years eve with her watching movies at her house. then about a week later I spent the night with her.....and im no longer a virgin :: . but about a week after that, I spent a friday night with her again (no sex though). then on that sunday after trying to text her and call her she just said she doesnt want to date anyone right now and just wants to be alone :: . we dated for like 3 weeks I guess, but I was so happy during that time its hard to describe. I just felt opposite of what I have been the last several years of being depressed and down an out all the time. I believe I was really falling in love with her, and toward the end we were telling each other "I love you" all the time. and I meant it every time I told her. she was the girl I lost my virginity too, and also the first girl I ever kissed on the lips. and then just like its nothing, she says she doesnt want to date anymore. I literally had this bad pain in my gut and chest when she sent me that text. I was so happy and enjoying every single day rain or shine when I was seeing her. she told me I was the nicest, sweetest guy she had ever been with. theres alot more to it as to why she said she doesnt want to date anyone right now. but right now I just dont know what to do cause I still think about her every day. she is such a sweet girl and I just dont want to let her go so easy. Everyone else is telling me that I should just forget her and find another one, but its just not that easy it seems?

 

[MikeyC]

Mate, that's good that you were so happy and that you lost your virginity with her and such. She will always be remembered by you for those reasons. A whirlwind 3 weeks, it seems.

However, you're right that it's not that easy to forget, and it's been less than a week since breaking up so it's not something you're going to forget easily. In time the pain of having her in your thoughts will lessen and you'll be able to get on with things. You may not see it right now but that's exactly how it will happen.

 

[doubleM]

congratulations. it sucks that someone would date you for 3 weeks and sleep with you, only to later break up with you in a faceless text message. "i dont want to date anyone right now but youre the best guy i ever met." women....

 

[elek2ronik]

If you got her, you can get another girl. A better one that actually wants to be in a relationship. Just use it as a confidence booster!

 

[nicole1]

Well, that's some type of achievement I imagine. But some people perceive things differently that the person that they are with. I'm glad you experienced the bliss, but I'm hoping you are not bummed out from the break up. With each relationship, I find it's best to cherish the good parts and simply learn from those ugly parts-break up included.

I'm friends with the majority of my exes. Friendship can happen if you give it a bit of time.

 

[Kinetik]

You had a brief but great experience, and it's one that can get addictive. That's what made me push through my initial awkwardness with women years ago. I soon found that I was happy to flirt and talk to girls because somehow, the trade-off of being uncomfortable vs potentially getting to be with someone was always worth it to me. Sure, I got egg on my face in the beginning, but gradually I became a better judge of situations and had much more success as a result. Hopefully you can use this as a way to move on to bigger and better things.

 

[drganon]

Congratulations on losing your virginity and sorry about how she dumped you. The way the female mind works baffles me. Of course, that's also probably why I just turned 23 and have yet to even so much as hold a girls hand in any romantic way.

 

[NathanielWingatePeaslee]

The way the female mind works baffles me. Of course, that's also probably why I just turned 23 and have yet to even so much as hold a girls hand in any romantic way.

I'm nearly 41, I've done more than hold hands, and the way the female mind works still baffles me. They are fascinating creatures, though.

 

[coyote]

regardless of gender

people have all sorts of personal issues that get in the way of relationships

if it's okay that any one of US acts weird when someone is interested in us, why isn't it also okay if someone else has some issue that causes them to freak out?

if we want others to accept our faults, we should be prepared to accept their faults as well

 

[Aletheia]

I'm baffled even by mine

the way the female mind works still baffles me

I think the human mind is baffling.

We're just more desperate to understand it when it belongs to someone we're fascinated by.

 

[Invisibleman]

Personally I would just forget her I mean this is going to sound bad but you dated her for 3 weeks...settle down trigger. Is there anything you did that maybe made you seem clingy or come on too strongly? Use this as a confidence booster,it means you CAN actually get a girl,its maybe more than the majority of us guys on here can say. Just move on to the next girl and take it easy.

 

[MikeyC]

Re: I'm baffled even by mine

I think the human mind is baffling.

We're just more desperate to understand it when it belongs to someone we're fascinated by.

Ooh, this is good. We want to understand a love interest's mind so we can make them as comfortable as possible.

Despite the break-up, that does sound like an awesome 3 weeks and I hope you remember that more than the split.

 

[Porto]

You should go back there and fight for the relationship!

For sure u'll have more to win then to loose at this moment, U'll regret to let the relation go so easily some time from now...

 

[Iluv]

Re: I'm baffled even by mine

I think the human mind is baffling.

Hit the nail on the head. The human mind is something that sometimes we can't understand. But I'm happy to hear you got your first girlfriend!

 

[Porto]

Just got to read...

For me, having my long-term relationship end in the midst of my train wreck of a life in 2009 was the last thing I was looking for. Suffering felt ever-present, like the fog during a San Francisco summer. The foghorn that cut through this opaque time was the question I asked myself on my most sad, self-pitying days, “How is this experience going to serve me in my next relationship? How is this going to make me a better partner when I find my true soul mate?”

 

[man on the hill]

I guess I could explain how we actually got hooked up. She dated my younger brother a couple years ago and somehow, I had her number still on my phone from where she called it back then, I guess looking for my brother one day. back before christmas, I was bored at work and messing with my phone and I happend to notice her name and number in my list of phone numbers. So just for the hell of it, I just send her a simple "hey" text. at first she didnt know who I was and eventually she remembers me. we text back and forth and so on. then on christmas day, we're texting and she mentions how it sucks being single on the holidays. so then I just ask her if she would like to go out sometime and she said she would. I think it was a wednesday after christmas that I went to go see her for the first time since talking to her. when I knocked on her door first thing she done was grab my hand and pulled me to the couch where she was watching a movie and she cuddled up beside me and layed her head on my shoulder :: . she was so happy and excited to see me that I couldnt believe it. it sucked that I could only stay for like 2 hours before I had to leave there and go to work. from then on I just felt like I was in love with her from the start.

 

[man on the hill]

Personally I would just forget her I mean this is going to sound bad but you dated her for 3 weeks...settle down trigger. Is there anything you did that maybe made you seem clingy or come on too strongly? Use this as a confidence booster,it means you CAN actually get a girl,its maybe more than the majority of us guys on here can say. Just move on to the next girl and take it easy.

that is the EXACT word she used in the last text she sent me....clingy. cause I was texting her like all day and she would barely even answer me back. she eventually just said I was being very clingy and when she didnt answer one of my texts I would just send 3 more and it was getting on her nerves she said.

and actually, on the morning of that night we first slept together, she sent me a text and said she couldnt date me anymore cause she had alot going on in her life and just couldnt date anyone right now. I was so stunned I didnt know what to say or do :: . so later after we talked about it she changed her mind and wanted me to spend the night with her. I guess I somehow talked her out of breaking up with me then. but this second time it wasnt gonna work.

But I do think it was my fault. I got way to serious with her too fast I think. I felt like I was in love with her but in reality I barely even knew her.. I think I did that cause Ive been wanting a gf for so long and then it happend so fast that I was scared that I would never get another chance with another girl so I just fell for her right away. I think she was starting to fall for me too but then I crossed the line when I started bugging her and stuff. I wanted to spend every day with her so bad but with us both working and her starting back school it wasnt going to happen. I would do anything for her to want to get back with me, but I doubt if she will ::

 

[OceanMist]

congratulations. it sucks that someone would date you for 3 weeks and sleep with you, only to later break up with you in a faceless text message. "i dont want to date anyone right now but youre the best guy i ever met." women....

Yes, that's definitely bothered me when I saw that she did that, and I didn't even go out with that girl so I can't imagine how the OP felt.

I'd rather have a woman just tell me the truth than lie to me and tell me "how great I am." If I am so great, why'd you get rid of me?

That woman that told me i was terrible in bed, at least she told me the truth. I even thanked her for telling me that. Granted, she did it in a text message....which is exactly what I just complained about.

 

[Road to recovery]

Edited message

 

[Invisibleman]

that is the EXACT word she used in the last text she sent me....clingy. cause I was texting her like all day and she would barely even answer me back. she eventually just said I was being very clingy and when she didnt answer one of my texts I would just send 3 more and it was getting on her nerves she said.

and actually, on the morning of that night we first slept together, she sent me a text and said she couldnt date me anymore cause she had alot going on in her life and just couldnt date anyone right now. I was so stunned I didnt know what to say or do :: . so later after we talked about it she changed her mind and wanted me to spend the night with her. I guess I somehow talked her out of breaking up with me then. but this second time it wasnt gonna work.

But I do think it was my fault. I got way to serious with her too fast I think. I felt like I was in love with her but in reality I barely even knew her.. I think I did that cause Ive been wanting a gf for so long and then it happend so fast that I was scared that I would never get another chance with another girl so I just fell for her right away. I think she was starting to fall for me too but then I crossed the line when I started bugging her and stuff. I wanted to spend every day with her so bad but with us both working and her starting back school it wasnt going to happen. I would do anything for her to want to get back with me, but I doubt if she will ::

yeah you just have to take it slower next time.Dont put everything out on the line all at once,let it out piece by piece,thats how the relationship progresses.