Facebook?

GillyMarie

Active member
Something I have been thinking about now for a long time. Is Facebook any good for people such as ourselves? Does it ever leave people feeling desperately insecure? Do you spend too much time there? Do you get comfort from interacting there, feel "liked"? Does it feel fake at times?
 

YellowBird

Well-known member
When i added people from college,high school,relatives,i felt more suicidal than usual,but i created a new one where i have only a couple of acquaintances that actually like me and friends from the social anxiety group.
 

9407

Well-known member
Since currently have no friends or acquaintances, I see no point. As for the past, most of my acquaintances that I hung out 2-3 years ago didn't even really like me so I don't want to talk to them either.
 

Iluv

Well-known member
Facebook isn't good for anybody. It mostly consists of drama and social status. Makes the popular more popular and the less even less. And plus it's a feeding ground for perverts. It makes my social anxiety even more whenever I get a friend request I start freaking out.
 

Shyangel

Well-known member
I don't have any friends, so there's really no point for me. I do have a few a acquaintances I've spent time with over the years on there and family that lives in other states that it's good for though. I have fun playing the games.:D

It's just a fun site to goof around on to me.
 

9407

Well-known member
Facebook isn't good for anybody. It mostly consists of drama and social status. Makes the popular more popular and the less even less. And plus it's a feeding ground for perverts. It makes my social anxiety even more whenever I get a friend request I start freaking out.

Facebook drama is fun to watch though. It almost makes me wish I was back in regular High School.
 

bsammy

Well-known member
facebook like any social media can be good and bad..many people truly enjoy facebook, reuniting with old friends and family..it can also be bad when it comes to drama.

ive thought about creating a facebook account but tbh im not too keen on getting back in contact with people i know from the past.so i dont..
 

Charmed

Active member
Is Facebook any good for people such as ourselves?

No, it's not ... since most of us have little or no friends. I don't see the point, since I have no friends, and I'm afraid of getting rejected if I sent any to old friends. I was pretty much the guy that never said anything, I feel like it would be awkward for me to send any since I never interacted with anybody. I'm afraid they might get the impression that I'm stalking them.
 

lonely_drummer

Well-known member
Facebook can be pretty bad for the whole drama bull**** but I just ignore that. Pretty much all i use it for is to keep in touch with the local bands so I know when their shows are and where. It can be a great tool but unfortunately most people don't use things properly, so what are ya gonna do?
 

jonas89

Well-known member
Idk I have had facebook account since 2008 I think, It haven't made any difference for me how I see myself and I just ignore that drama thing when it occurs there.
Would it be easy just to close my account and act like it have never existed ? If I were thinking about that about 2 years ago I wouldn't mind and be facebook free because the people that I needed to talk to I can talk by phone or just go and meet them.
But today I have meet a few great people that I only know through Fb and Im not going to leave, them because they are way too valuable to just to be deleted by a simple command.
And of course it's also great to see where your family and relatives are doing in life, were that I really dont see them as much as my friends,

Facebook has it good and a bad side as is mentioned here above.
 

Griffin

Well-known member
Is Facebook any good for people such as ourselves?

Yes and no.

Yes, in that it offers a convenient way to keep in touch with people. Also, if you have problems speaking to someone in person, wall posts and messages on FB are an easy way around that.

No, in that you're not really interacting with people. Messages and wall posts aren't a substitute for meeting and talking with friends. See below for more.


Does it ever leave people feeling desperately insecure?

Speaking for myself, yes. I look at what my friends are up to in terms of their social life, their jobs and their holidays, and I feel woefully inferior.

If you're not content with your own life, FB can make things worse. It's like being the loser on a gameshow where the presenter shows you what you could have won.

Recently, I was 'unfriended' - I wonder if that term was in use before FB :confused: - by someone that I considered to be a friend. We work at the same place and have always got on well with each other (in and out of work).

I don't know what has happened, but I know that I'm upset. I can't help but feel that I've done something wrong. Part of me just wants to move, whereas another part of me is wondering why it happened.


Do you get comfort from interacting there, feel "liked"? Does it feel fake at times?

I don't think comfort is the right word. It's just nice to keep in touch, even if it's in small ways. At other times, it's just a convenient way to arrange a gathering of friends.

As to whether it feels fake, that's a hard one. I only have as friends people that I know i.e. people that I've met at least a few times and have spoken with on a number of occasions (and I feel that I know enough about them to like them).

I think that's important because I don't see the need to be associated with people who are merely acquaintances, or people that I only have a passing relationship with.

I don't think it's fake in the sense that people are insincere. I think it would be fake if you saw it as a substitute for actual socialising and networking.
 

bsammy

Well-known member
^good post, yes id have to believe for avoidants or social phobics that facebook would be a nasty slap in the face.a brutal reality call unless you could somehow trick yourself into believing you are content with your life.lets face it, most avoidants arent.
 

Twinkel<3

Member
I agree sometimes facebook can be bad for social phobias, there is times iv came off of facebook (which i spend a lot of time on) and i feel desperatly depressed becuase i see friends i had in the past or went to school with, making all these plans and going to parties or night on the town and i feel so fustrated that i cant live like that!

But other times i get a surprise message from an old friend who i distanced myself from with SAD and just a quick catch up over email can be so benificial to my mental health! so really i think it depends on the person.

Oh and i really only use facebook for the games ;) xxx
 

totoro

Well-known member
As mentioned by several others there are good and bad things about Facebook. The main benefit is that it is easy and convenient to organise events and/or keep in touch with friends and even some acquaintances but it can also leave me feeling sad and depressed when I see what people have been up to in their lives (especially when I see holiday photos!) and I compare it to how empty and mediocre my life is. But I think it can make everybody feel that way- not just people with SA.

It can feel fake at times, for example with birthday messages. While it feels good when people wish you Happy Birthday a majority of those people wouldn't even know about it if it wasn't for facebook. If I didn't have facebook would they call or text me to wish me happy birthday? Unlikely (except a few close friends or family who actually know when my birthday is).

I don't want to sound ungrateful but it has occurred to me that some (but not all people) may do it with the expectation that you will return the gesture when it is their birthday. Maybe it is my negative thoughts taking over again...I'm really working on turning this around but those are my thoughts for now.
 

JCVA

Well-known member
I mainly use it to chat and catch up with long distance families. Sometimes I play games. I'm a bit apprehensive right now with the Timeline thing rolling out and making it mandatory. Why can't they just make it an option for people instead of ramming it down our throats. -_-
 

Outlander

Member
I don't spend much time on Facebook.

It should not affect me, but is a bit pathetic to see everything others do, things I'd like but I can't do. I don't have social life, so I have nothing to share. For this reason I only have a few contacts. May be it's incongruous that I participate in social networks, so I'm thinking deactivate my account.

I am not saying that Facebook is bad. They (normal people) enjoy it a lot, but all that I did was translate my marginalization to the network. Some girls invited me date sometimes, and I, of course, refused them.
 

Luka

Well-known member
Though it does make me feel inferior I have relatives and friends I speak to on fb as they're in other countries etc,... and I used it for farmville! haha
 

gustavofring

Well-known member
I don't spend much time on Facebook.

It should not affect me, but is a bit pathetic to see everything others do, things I'd like but I can't do. I don't have social life, so I have nothing to share. For this reason I only have a few contacts. May be it's incongruous that I participate in social networks, so I'm thinking deactivate my account.

I am not saying that Facebook is bad. They (normal people) enjoy it a lot, but all that I did was translate my marginalization to the network. Some girls invited me date sometimes, and I, of course, refused them.

Myeah, I kinda am stuck in the same boat. Just seeing people having such active and interesting lifes with photos of party here, vacation there, etc. kinda makes me feel miserable at times. But remember Facebook is not really an acurate representative of a person's life. Remember that people only share the good stuff and their lives aren't that glamorous and exciting 24/7.

I could go on a bitter tirade saying that people on facebook are all wearing a mask and playing the popularity game to feed their ego's, "Look how cool and interesting I am!" but I think that's just my envy talking. I think Facebook is a nice tool in general (if you have an active social life that is) and if you just don't take it so seriously. I occassionaly come across nice and interesting links via facebook friends that genuinely amuse/interest me. Then there's also a lot of rubbish that doesn't interest me, but you can turn that off if a person shares a lot of that. "3 days in my diet, I am longing for some chocolate!" "did the 10 km walk in under ...... minutes!" "-insert random, generic dumb opinion on recent news item-" etc.

I bet if I had my life in order I would probably make the same sort of boring happy happy facebook status updates and some other SA smartypants in my contact list in a dimly litted room would think of me as an idiot.
 
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