how does one regornize?
Well, you need a pair of pliers, some rope...I think there's waffles involved...jeez, I guess I don't know how to regornize either!
easier being female
- Thread starter Lorraine Manca
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Well, you need a pair of pliers, some rope...I think there's waffles involved...jeez, I guess I don't know how to regornize either!
Maybe this should be a sticky.
I agree.
Pretty much. Which is sort of why love-shyness affects males more severely than females -- males are expected to make the first move.
WorldEndsWithMe
Well-known member
I can see why percieved gender roles would really make it hard on guys with SA. The whole "masculine" vs. "feminine" traits. I don't think being shy makes a guy any less masculine than a talkative guy. In fact when those overly macho guys are all in your face and obnoxious "I'm a guy's guy" type of person my immediate thought is "wow they must be insecure" or they're just plain chauvanistic and annoying.
I think the "strong, silent type" where the guy looks thoughtful is 3676735642x more manly than the typical macho "have something to prove" guy.
The one thing that might be a little different for shy girls than boys (I'm not a guy so I don't want to say this never happens to boys, and I'm sorry if it did) is mean, catty cliques. If you're shy and seem like a pushover (again going back to the submissive thing) girls can sometimes flock together and cause you serious grief. They'll spread rumors, ostracize you, bully you emotionally/verbally/physically. It's hard on a teen girl to get emotionally hurt like that, and probably lead to a lot girls getting worse SA. =(
And I don't think shy has to equal submissive. I know shy guys who will stick up for themselves if someone is doing them wrong. I'm sure there are some shy people who will avoid confrontation and stand down, but I know not every shy person is "submissive".
I'm so sick of this "survival of the fittest" Social Darwinism BS. =( Don't treat shy people like they're less of a man/woman/person just because they're not extroverted.
I think the "strong, silent type" where the guy looks thoughtful is 3676735642x more manly than the typical macho "have something to prove" guy.
The one thing that might be a little different for shy girls than boys (I'm not a guy so I don't want to say this never happens to boys, and I'm sorry if it did) is mean, catty cliques. If you're shy and seem like a pushover (again going back to the submissive thing) girls can sometimes flock together and cause you serious grief. They'll spread rumors, ostracize you, bully you emotionally/verbally/physically. It's hard on a teen girl to get emotionally hurt like that, and probably lead to a lot girls getting worse SA. =(
And I don't think shy has to equal submissive. I know shy guys who will stick up for themselves if someone is doing them wrong. I'm sure there are some shy people who will avoid confrontation and stand down, but I know not every shy person is "submissive".
I'm so sick of this "survival of the fittest" Social Darwinism BS. =( Don't treat shy people like they're less of a man/woman/person just because they're not extroverted.
Waybuloo
Well-known member
If that girl would only go out with tall guys then that's pretty shallow, even though it is her life and she can go out with who ever fits her set of criteria, if that's what floats her boat. This is like someone who would only go out with blondes. Reminds me of my mum who would only consider going out with 6 foot plus men, but then their various problems all surface as time goes on anyways.
I personlly don't care about a guy's height, but I'm a bit uncomfortable with the idea of having a tall bf cause I have to look up all the time. For reference i'm 5'5 asian girl and my bf is around the same height. He's stockily built and is freakishly strong and has been known to floor some guys who think they can pick on him just because he's smaller than them.
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Waybuloo
Well-known member
shyness is generaly a result of fear of being rejected, looking bad, and all that. That increased fear implies a bigger sensitivity, and thus people assume it's a better person. Of crouse it isn't ALWAYS true.[/QUOTE]
It is a big generalisation for sure. To me, if as you say that shyness implies a fear of rejection, and thus sensitivity, it just means that person is too egocentric in a negative way and intrinsically that means they put their self interest first and foremost. I mean there are people who are extroverted, warm and helpful and they are the sensitive types who are the better person. I am somewhat drawn to shy people because I see them as 'safe', but I wouldn't trust them cause things are not on the table and I don't know what they are thinking/planning. I know of cases where people come out of their shell at work and are found to be not so nice after all, but are self centred areseholes who are shy.
Come to think of it, i've never been considered shy. People either think i'm quiet, snobby, or they somehow know that i've got social phobia.
It is a big generalisation for sure. To me, if as you say that shyness implies a fear of rejection, and thus sensitivity, it just means that person is too egocentric in a negative way and intrinsically that means they put their self interest first and foremost. I mean there are people who are extroverted, warm and helpful and they are the sensitive types who are the better person. I am somewhat drawn to shy people because I see them as 'safe', but I wouldn't trust them cause things are not on the table and I don't know what they are thinking/planning. I know of cases where people come out of their shell at work and are found to be not so nice after all, but are self centred areseholes who are shy.
Come to think of it, i've never been considered shy. People either think i'm quiet, snobby, or they somehow know that i've got social phobia.
I know this comment is going to make a few peoples' jaws drop quite a bit but I've always wished that we were all born with both sex organs so that we could choose what we want to be once we're old enough to make that decision.
Personally, I've always wanted to be a boy. I have many reasons, but my main one is that guys don't really have to worry about their appearance. A guy could shave his whole head off and it wouldn't really affect the way people see him, but for me as a girl, if I do anything dramatic to my appearance such as getting a haircut people instantly notice and put me in the spotlight, even if it's the slightest trim.
Oh and the major bonus: NO MENSTRUAL CYCLE!!!!!!!!!!!
Guys you have nooo idea how much better off you are than girls when it comes to the body :
Joking? Appearance for men. They have no worries? Right. Not agreeing. In this day and age we are more tuned into appearance. In my opinion.
I am going to counter your comment on how easy men have it. We/I think the same about you.
I reiterate, magnets. Force two together with the same charged magnetic field. They will repel.
MaliceInWickedland
Well-known member
I'm so used to the guys here in my home region being so nonchalant and casual that I can never really fathom the idea of guys in general worrying about their appearance, but you are right and I stand corrected. I wasn't very considerate or thinking clearly when I posted that last comment and I was too impulsive on my opinion. I apologize to you and all other males who had to read that nonsense of mine.
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Now, hold on. Not everything you said was nonsense.
This menstrual cycle? Yeah, we don't have that.
BTW, at leas for me, don't apologize for speaking your mind. Incorrect at times, yes. Always be prepared to be corrected. Only way to know and learn. Even when corrected, research. Never stand down until fully known incorrect.
Or banned.
It's easier being a normal male than a normal female. But it is easier being a female with SA than it is being a male with SA, because confidence is a more important characteristic for a male than a female. Plainly stated.
Anyway... how cool is this guy?:
I'm gonna give him some rep for that!
Anyway... how cool is this guy?:
I'm gonna give him some rep for that!
Richey
Well-known member
I find it very difficult. i don't know how long i will stay in a secure job. find it difficult to talk to people, moved back home with the parents. i do try hard to branch out but the pressure of society once you reach 25+ becomes a heavy weight to be successful. In fact it bothers me that so many famous male musicians ended their life around this very age, its a hit-the-wall-running sort of age, there is the expectation to be entrapeneuarial and very strong. shyness is seen as weak alot of the time and being outside the box in terms of me being more interested in music then cars, even though i can change a tyre and do some repairs, and drawing rather then home maintenance is often a turn off for women, in fact its usually a turn off 75% of the time. unless the girl is into art.
the only thing i can really do now is to switch all of that perception of what others think business off and i should just be myself and not care, it is the only way i can move forwards. there is no other way.
i am sure girls have just as hard a time though with these same issues.
the only thing i can really do now is to switch all of that perception of what others think business off and i should just be myself and not care, it is the only way i can move forwards. there is no other way.
i am sure girls have just as hard a time though with these same issues.
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Holy resurrection batman!
I used to see this thread,but never read it,only today I did,my opinion is dont take it too serious,no woman or man is worth it,now for guys the best thing is hit it and quit it,you keep lying to her,saying what she wants to hear,pretend that you are listening,put on a mask,some time you will hit it,if not move on,a lot of guys who are sucesseful do this,not something I would do,but in my opinion is the best way to go about it for most people,even for me if I wasnt this dumb.
I used to see this thread,but never read it,only today I did,my opinion is dont take it too serious,no woman or man is worth it,now for guys the best thing is hit it and quit it,you keep lying to her,saying what she wants to hear,pretend that you are listening,put on a mask,some time you will hit it,if not move on,a lot of guys who are sucesseful do this,not something I would do,but in my opinion is the best way to go about it for most people,even for me if I wasnt this dumb.
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Felgen
Well-known member
I know this comment is going to make a few peoples' jaws drop quite a bit but I've always wished that we were all born with both sex organs so that we could choose what we want to be once we're old enough to make that decision.
Personally, I've always wanted to be a boy. I have many reasons, but my main one is that guys don't really have to worry about their appearance. A guy could shave his whole head off and it wouldn't really affect the way people see him, but for me as a girl, if I do anything dramatic to my appearance such as getting a haircut people instantly notice and put me in the spotlight, even if it's the slightest trim.
Oh and the major bonus: NO MENSTRUAL CYCLE!!!!!!!!!!!
Guys you have nooo idea how much better off you are than girls when it comes to the body :
Girls without anxiety also have menstrual cycles. A guy has to worry about his appearance unless he's rich or extremely socially gifted.
Im not sure if its easier for guys having SA. But i think when its comes to attract someone from the opposite sex guys might have a harder time. Generaly girls look for confidence in a man, someone who they feel safe with. But guys might even find a blushing shy girl very attractive.
On the other hand, i'm glad that i wasnt a girl on highschool. They can be very b**chy among eachother Girls pay much attention about how other girls look and what they wear. For guys this is not a very big issue.
I don't think it makes a big difference. But im glad to be a guy because i think life is harder on women.
On the other hand, i'm glad that i wasnt a girl on highschool. They can be very b**chy among eachother
Girls pay much attention about how other girls look and what they wear. For guys this is not a very big issue.I don't think it makes a big difference. But im glad to be a guy because i think life is harder on women.
Oh gosh. Please don't lie to women. We are human too.
I think it's not easy for either women or men. It may just appear easier sometimes...
Also, a lot of men and women are untraditional. You just need to find someone you click with...
And both guys and girls, even artsy ones, can learn to change a light bulb or do easy home repairs, or dial a phone number of repair guys!!
I dont understand
You said:
I would like to know why you think that. Not saying correct or incorrect. I want to know you're reason with that thought.
You do not have to answer.
EscapeArtist
Well-known member
Are you kidding me dude!!! I think it's SOOOOOOOO much harder to be a girl with SA. It's a fear of VULNERABILITY. Women are like the symbol of vulnerability!! I almost thought I was trans-gender just because I subliminally wanted to be a guy so badly, just so I didn't have to feel so vulnerable with all the breasts and stupid girl things. Don't think I am though