Guy, some people on here aren't safe. They are "normal" people, except, instead of bitching about their problems, they bitch about yours. I think that is much more annoying and hurtful than anything out there in the real world.
Dont You Hate It When "Normal" People Complain?
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Satine
Well-known member
To the OP: I'm afraid you're assuming others are luckier than you, when they genuinely are not. I made this mistake during my worst SA time. Believe me when I say it's not a good trap to fall into, assuming that non-SA sufferers have it better than you.
Yes, SA is a pain in the backside, but there are other problems out there from which SA keeps you exempt.
You also don't have to work for a boss you can't stand. That's something I'd have given my left hand not to have had to put up with at the worst time. That woman really did grind me down into the ground.
I don't have a problem with the sheer, unrelenting pointlessness of it all, but some people do. That's not a light complaint either. To feel your entire life is being usurped by the need to earn a wage must be a hardship indeed. Don't underestimate it.
Are you proposing they are lucky to be emotionally or physically abused, to be put in impossible positions where somebody will be hurt no matter what? These situations happen. Yes, there is a positive aspect to being in a relationship, but only if it's a good one. Abuse within a relationship is a foul thing. Again, don't underestimate what they're putting up with, and what you're free from.
If you really want to be in a relationship, you'll eventually find a way. But putting a block between you and those you whimsically term 'normal' people only serves to make it less likely you will get what you want.
Yes, SA is a pain in the backside, but there are other problems out there from which SA keeps you exempt.
You also don't have to work for a boss you can't stand. That's something I'd have given my left hand not to have had to put up with at the worst time. That woman really did grind me down into the ground.
I don't have a problem with the sheer, unrelenting pointlessness of it all, but some people do. That's not a light complaint either. To feel your entire life is being usurped by the need to earn a wage must be a hardship indeed. Don't underestimate it.
Are you proposing they are lucky to be emotionally or physically abused, to be put in impossible positions where somebody will be hurt no matter what? These situations happen. Yes, there is a positive aspect to being in a relationship, but only if it's a good one. Abuse within a relationship is a foul thing. Again, don't underestimate what they're putting up with, and what you're free from.
If you really want to be in a relationship, you'll eventually find a way. But putting a block between you and those you whimsically term 'normal' people only serves to make it less likely you will get what you want.
I mean that they post their opinions without regard to your feelings.
example?......
Richey
Well-known member
yeh i have a friend who is financially secure, has nearly 100 friends and is always going out and living a fearless life and she cries and feels horrible.
does this mean i should have leaped off a high bridge by now?
i keep thinking jeeez..it'd be nice to be in her shoes for a week
its difficult to compute but people become depressed on their level because their lifestyle and success becomes normal to them. so they adapt to that and they still need some drama and problems to make things human ...
does this mean i should have leaped off a high bridge by now?
i keep thinking jeeez..it'd be nice to be in her shoes for a week
its difficult to compute but people become depressed on their level because their lifestyle and success becomes normal to them. so they adapt to that and they still need some drama and problems to make things human ...
Shift
Well-known member
Other people have problems too, even if they aren't the same ones as us...
Like, I always thought my best friend was perfect. He is smart, good at everything, cute, has a job, tons of friends, and an amazing, loving family, etc. I have always been envious of him. But actually, he has drug/alcohol problems (among other things that I am not going to share) and he keeps a lot of secrets from people and I'm the only person he has opened up to (and I still think he is hiding a lot of things from me). I don't know. He's just as messed up as I am, he's just better at hiding it.
Like, I always thought my best friend was perfect. He is smart, good at everything, cute, has a job, tons of friends, and an amazing, loving family, etc. I have always been envious of him. But actually, he has drug/alcohol problems (among other things that I am not going to share) and he keeps a lot of secrets from people and I'm the only person he has opened up to (and I still think he is hiding a lot of things from me). I don't know. He's just as messed up as I am, he's just better at hiding it.
Ignace
Well-known member
People don't know what it means to be depressed. When their gf/bf broke up with them, they're like: "Why does that always happen to me ? Why can't I be happy like everyone else ? I'm so depressed .. let's kill myself." ... How sad ... I could kill those ppl with my own bare hands ..
just wanna b normal
Well-known member
yeahh i get jealous they always talk about what they done & how much fun they had & i cant really say cuzz i cant even grasp those things!
Snowdrop
Well-known member
Yes, I do dislike it, and sometimes I get so angry and frustrated and annoyed but I can't help it. I was happy before SP, SA whatever I've got to, and it annoys me to no end when people complain about something I'd happily trade for, even if it was just 1 day of feeling confident.
But then I remind myself that the majority of people don't know and will never know what it is like to be so disabled in your mind.
But then I remind myself that the majority of people don't know and will never know what it is like to be so disabled in your mind.
ShyBeliever
Well-known member
Dude, that thought about "normal" people is so subjective. People who you call normal may suffer from problems that you dont even suspect. I know a guy that is incredibly social and when you meet him you would certainly envy his confidence in social events. You know what??
He confessed a few days ago that hes taking medication about some phobias that he suffers from. He just have feelings of panic when hes in the middle of crowds. He also has panic attacks when hes too far away from home. I became in shock when i heard those things from him. I know he almost comitted suicide once because of a girl but i never knew he was so emotional unstable like that. Hes very popular and he´s incredibly charismatic and funny when around people.
Every person have his own issues, and most of them hide them to them selves. I bet most of your friends or colleagues think about you not as a social phobic but as a regular shy guy, and even sometimes good at socializing, you just dont notice that because our mind can distort reality.
Dude, think about people that live with hunger, with chronic diseases, disabilities, "normal people" that are homeless, unemployed with enormous debts, that are in jail for many years, think about very extroverted people that are very popular that smoke like chymneys, that are addicted to drugs, drink heavily, like to drive in a fast and cocky way until in one normal, extrovert sunny day face a serious accident that **** up with his life. There are "normal" SA free people that have ****ed up lifestyles that you dont even imagine.
You see?? Life is so subjective. Each of us have our own issues. Most of us suffer from them silently and i believe most of people around us dont even dream about how ****ed up we feel about ourselves . Our goal is just to accept and live with that and be as much happy as we can.
I believe most us will live all life believing in ghosts that never existed at all. And the moment we realize that then maybe its too late and that´s just sad.
He confessed a few days ago that hes taking medication about some phobias that he suffers from. He just have feelings of panic when hes in the middle of crowds. He also has panic attacks when hes too far away from home. I became in shock when i heard those things from him. I know he almost comitted suicide once because of a girl but i never knew he was so emotional unstable like that. Hes very popular and he´s incredibly charismatic and funny when around people.
Every person have his own issues, and most of them hide them to them selves. I bet most of your friends or colleagues think about you not as a social phobic but as a regular shy guy, and even sometimes good at socializing, you just dont notice that because our mind can distort reality.
Dude, think about people that live with hunger, with chronic diseases, disabilities, "normal people" that are homeless, unemployed with enormous debts, that are in jail for many years, think about very extroverted people that are very popular that smoke like chymneys, that are addicted to drugs, drink heavily, like to drive in a fast and cocky way until in one normal, extrovert sunny day face a serious accident that **** up with his life. There are "normal" SA free people that have ****ed up lifestyles that you dont even imagine.
You see?? Life is so subjective. Each of us have our own issues. Most of us suffer from them silently and i believe most of people around us dont even dream about how ****ed up we feel about ourselves . Our goal is just to accept and live with that and be as much happy as we can.
I believe most us will live all life believing in ghosts that never existed at all. And the moment we realize that then maybe its too late and that´s just sad.
I think everyone has a right to complain about their problems, but I agree, it doesn't make it any less annoying when it's coming from people who don't have debilitating disorders... There will always be people who focus on negatives and take everything else for granted no matter what advantages/luxuries they have. But hey... I'm sure there's someone out there who resents us for complaining.... maybe people who are living vegetables. Ever imagine what it would be like to be trapped in your body and not be able to even lift a finger or utter a word? Scary thought.
panicsurvivor
Well-known member
Couldn't have said it better myself. Wow this is an old thread by the way. Come on people, this is really not cool. Complaining about your problems and feeling anger, despair, fear, and all the rest is fine, but turning around and being venomous to others like this is not productive at all, not to mention Ignorant. Life is a card game. There are plenty of good cards in the deck, but there are also plenty of bad ones. People who get winning hands are lucky, or karma is being kind to them, if you believe in that. But normal doesn't exist. People have problems, and everybodys problems are their own. I for example do not understand SA. People do not scare me at all. I need People. To me if I could go through life being scared of social situations, but not be afraid of walking through the forest under the open sky, or sailing in a boat on the ocean, or going on a long cross country road trip with my family I think that I would probably jump at the chance. And most of the people on here who "whine" about how bad their SA have never even had a panic attack!!!!!!! Or maybe had a couple once or twice. I could look at that and say
"I can't stand it when SArs whine about their pathetic problems. You think you have it bad try going a day without having a panic attack. You can take a walk at least. At least you don't have to worry about wrecking your car and killing your family because you suddenly had a panic attack when going out for Ice cream."
I do not say this however. Because it is all subjective. I know there are many people on here who would gladly trade lives with me. I have no Idea what it is like to be afraid of people. But I am sure it must be very unpleasant, and I would never want to belittle SA and its affect on people. I have not walked a mile in those shoes so I don't know. Not to mention that if you are on this site right now you do have it better than most of the people in the world. By default if you have a computer and are complaining about your state of mind with a full belly, you don't have a right to complain at all. Imagine what half the world who struggle to survive would say if they read our posts. Cry me a ****ing river is what they would say. I have empathy for everyones problems, at least I try to. People all deserve happiness. You may have it worse than a lot of people, but trust me their are millions who have it a lot worse than you. NO ONE HAS EXCLUSIVE COMPLAINING RIGHTS!!!
Well, "normal" is ingrained in our minds and in our societies. It's practically a living, breathing being.
This much is true.
I agree with you to a certain extent, but some of this still sounds like a load of BS to me. People have spent decades sitting in a room, because they're too scared to leave their homes. It's called a glass prison. Just because mental disorders aren't visible, it doesn't make them any less torturous. Everyone has a right to complain... some people need an outlet of some kind... some people need to get it off their chests. You're not obligated to listen, however.
freestylemonster
Banned
My thoughts exactly. The fact that the OP even has a computer to post this thread tells me he/she has it way better than a lot of people.
Be thankful for what you have. I bet if any of us got over our SA we'd find something new to complain about - because "good" and "bad" are all relative to where you're standing.