Do you think you're ugly?

-lonestar-

-lonestar-

Well-known member
stevelee24 said:
the older you get the less you care about looks being 28 now im not half as bothered as say when i was 18. some people take longer to grow in to there face
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I feel I'm more obsessed because I dont want to get old and not experience much sex or even know what its like to make out and be hugged, time is my enemy I guess.
 
WeirdyMcGee

WeirdyMcGee

Well-known member
-lonestar- said:
If everyone was beautiful would life be easier to deal with?
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Hm... no, probably not at all.

I don't know how to word this properly but it's like a double negative.
Like, in kindergarten the teachers said "everyone is special!" - but if everyone is special; really, no one is special because being special is the norm.

So, if everyone looked like supermodels - we; as humans, would pick out different things to judge as being undesirable.

Like when I went to a school with uniforms one year and figured I wouldn't get teased about wearing hand-me-downs anymore... but the girls decided to tease me for being poor, and the boys would throw rocks at me and call me ugly.
They'll always find ways to put down other people in order to make themselves feel better.
That's why there are 'ugly' people and 'beautiful' people.

Something like that, anyway... that's what I believe.
I personally am not attracted to anyone but I see appealing things about every person; be they 600lbs or 60lbs.
I have a difficult time finding anything appealing about myself and an easy time praising others for how wonderful they are in all aspects.
 
nosferatu

nosferatu

Well-known member
I'm below average, but I don't think I'm ugly. Just below average.

3 years ago I would have said "average" because I was much healthier and fitter than I am now. Now I'm just kind of a fat slob. But such are the results of radical depression and bad eating habits. Back in the day girls used to tell me that I looked cute and even dated a few girls, but all that is gone now.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have free a roll of fat from the armrest of my chair.

TheNightCreature said:
I suffer with thinking i'm ugly, i know i'm not the greatest looking guy but i'll get over it the older i get.
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Yes, getting older does help. When I was in my teens I was very self-conscious about my looks, but I could care less now.
 
Richey

Richey

Well-known member
i'm bewildered how I look side on, which is a bit stupid but you know how when you try on clothes at the shops and each wall has a mirror it does shock me because i'm only used to seeing myself from the front. It really surprised me neither in a negative or positive way though.

I think one problem is that I compare myself to what people consider to be above average looking guys. It's like the other day these plumbers walked in, had tattoos and obviously lived at the gym so the girls were making comments, flirting. That is a world i've not known because i see myself as nerdy though i don't know how others view me as...which is odd but true.

I'm trying my best to detatch how i look to anything. I'd rather be a character with a unique personality because i think people prefer that, actually i prefer that.
 
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userremoved

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-lonestar- said:
I feel I'm more obsessed because I dont want to get old and not experience much sex or even know what its like to make out and be hugged, time is my enemy I guess.
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Keep yourself in shape. That'll give you much more time.
 
Dead_on_Arrival

Dead_on_Arrival

Well-known member
I have come to the conclusion that I am not Ugly.

Ugly. not a nice description.

I prefer to be Beautifuly/Sexy/Georgeously/Hunkily/Prettily challenged
 
Nala

Nala

Well-known member
I see myself as ugly, yes. Even losing weight didn't help, I'm still disgusted by myself. Sometimes I do feel less ugly, but those moments always disappear, and I end up feeling awful again in the end.
 
razzle dazzle rose

razzle dazzle rose

Well-known member
I have my pretty days and I have my ugly days, but generally I am very self-conscious about the way I look. I grew up looking very ugly and I was fully aware that I was ugly. So, for a long time now I have been very preoccupied in my appearance, trying to make myself look acceptable, pretty even. I got braces a couple years back to correct my overlapping teeth. I wear makeup. I am losing weight. Growing out my hair. If I had the money I'd get rhinoplasty. I am like a big craft project. No, I am not being vain.

Growing up I would see all the pretty girls get treated differently. They were liked, everyone wanted to be their friends, the boys chased after them, still do. They were special! I was ignored. A wallflower. And it was because I was ugly. All that has contributed to my SA no doubt.

And no matter the improvements I make to myself, those feelings of inadequacy remain. Now I know I have been going about this the wrong way. I need to work on the inside! I need to work on accepting myself for who I am, for what I am not and will never be. I need to stop seeking the approval of others. I could really do without others' comments about my appearance, whether positive or negative. In my family there is a lot of focus on looks. My parents always comment on my weight for example. I am either too fat or too skinny for their taste. It is hard. But how to shut them up without being mean, I haven't figured out. It is like I will never measure up. Eh, it all makes me so exhausted and I can never win.
 
MikeyC

MikeyC

Well-known member
razzle dazzle rose said:
I have my pretty days and I have my ugly days, but generally I am very self-conscious about the way I look. I grew up looking very ugly and I was fully aware that I was ugly. So, for a long time now I have been very preoccupied in my appearance, trying to make myself look acceptable, pretty even. I got braces a couple years back to correct my overlapping teeth. I wear makeup. I am losing weight. Growing out my hair. If I had the money I'd get rhinoplasty. I am like a big craft project. No, I am not being vain.

Growing up I would see all the pretty girls get treated differently. They were liked, everyone wanted to be their friends, the boys chased after them, still do. They were special! I was ignored. A wallflower. And it was because I was ugly. All that has contributed to my SA no doubt.

And no matter the improvements I make to myself, those feelings of inadequacy remain. Now I know I have been going about this the wrong way. I need to work on the inside! I need to work on accepting myself for who I am, for what I am not and will never be. I need to stop seeking the approval of others. I could really do without others' comments about my appearance, whether positive or negative. In my family there is a lot of focus on looks. My parents always comment on my weight for example. I am either too fat or too skinny for their taste. It is hard. But how to shut them up without being mean, I haven't figured out. It is like I will never measure up. Eh, it all makes me so exhausted and I can never win.
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Great post and thanks for sharing. It is very hard to keep up appearances, so to speak, but it sounds like you're doing well. However, I may suggest that it's unnecessary to be so preoccupied about how you look. If it makes you happy to do that, then that's okay. :)

As for me, yes, I do consider myself ugly. I thought I had Body Dysmorphic Disorder, but I read up on the symptoms and I'm not as severe as it suggests, so I doubt I have that. I've never considered myself attractive and found it strange when women would show an interest. Even when I was losing weight I didn't find myself attractive. It's a self-esteem issue that I'll hopefully one day erase.
 
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userremoved

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cesgrandsyeux said:
The short answer is no. Oo, sudden surge of self confidence.

But it's because of years of reinforcement. From strangers (ugh, 12 year old boys and adults) and of course from friends and family. However, I'd say at least 60% of my confidence is reliant on my closest friend....which is really bad, I know. To be dependent on someone, but...two years too late. If it weren't for the lovely comments aimed at reassuring me, like 'perfect features' (aww,cutie :3) or just something simple like 'beautiful,' haha, I reckon I'd have more lapses. Fun times.
It's just a demonstration of the power people have over you. I've been called fat before, too. So I started to believe it. It's become my one and only insecurity that I'm working on tackling. So yeah. It's become this thought recently: 'yeah, I'm pretty....too bad my body isn't.' Haha. God, always has to be something,doesn't it?
I laugh about it now, it can actually be very depressing at times. I know others get the same thoughts too. My school friends: 'Yeah, sure, I'm skinny (it's often skinny because...well,they're 13 year olds) but it really sucks that I'm ' ' (usually they say ugly)
I wonder though...do you think you can ever achieve total self acceptance? Do you think there always has to be at least one thing we're insecure about? I know for some it's a lot more, and for the very unfortunate - everything-but can you truly reach a point where an insult can't even sting for a second?
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When it comes to physical appearance, I think the majority of people have their self image and confidence dependent on how other people perceive them. The whole weight thing wouldn't even be an issue were it not for our media being flooded with images of perfect bodies, telling us that anything other than this is not attractive. Heck, we guys are taught some of the same things. Look at a Mens Fitness magazine. It shows someone on the cover like Hugh Jackman and then it has the title of some random article saying "How to drive the ladies wild in the bedroom!". They make sure to drive the point home that the message is: physical fitness equates to how much people will be attracted to you. But in the real world, we know good and well you dont have to be physically perfect for someone to be attracted to you. These people are just trying to sale magazines but it can leave a bad impression on some. I'm not sure where Im going with this, my thoughts are all over the place.

I dont think anyone is perfectly sure about themselves in every way. But unlike us, they're sure enough about themselves to lead someone normal lives, but thats it.
 
razzle dazzle rose

razzle dazzle rose

Well-known member
MikeyC said:
Great post and thanks for sharing. It is very hard to keep up appearances, so to speak, but it sounds like you're doing well. However, I may suggest that it's unnecessary to be so preoccupied about how you look. If it makes you happy to do that, then that's okay. :)

As for me, yes, I do consider myself ugly. I thought I had Body Dysmorphic Disorder, but I read up on the symptoms and I'm not as severe as it suggests, so I doubt I have that. I've never considered myself attractive and found it strange when women would show an interest. Even when I was losing weight I didn't find myself attractive. It's a self-esteem issue that I'll hopefully one day erase.
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I have read up on Body Dysmorphic Disorder, and several of the symptoms ring true to me, but I have a tendency to self-diagnose myself with everything so yeah. Perhaps it is all a symptom of Social Anxiety? Like caring too much about how others see us? And low self-esteem in general. A lot of people struggle with this though, not just us SA'ers.

Focusing so much on my appearance is a waste of time and it is exhausting. Especially because I still don't look the way I want to look, ha. Losing weight is important though. When I was heavier, it was the first thing people pointed out when they saw me "Oh, Rose, you got fat," and the dreaded "Are you pregnant?" Interesting how when I lost weight they didn't seem to notice :rolleyes: Unfortunately, there will always be something to improve on. It never ends. I guess I just don't see this issue ending for me anytime soon.
 
Luka

Luka

Well-known member
Thinking I'm ugly is not the problem. It's just everyone else is so much prettier! I think I'm an average, boring, shy little girl who sits and does her work in lessons. I'd rather keep it that way than getting attention.
 
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userremoved

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cesgrandsyeux said:
Do you think complete self acceptance is attainable?

Oh,and I was going to add. Do you think it truly matters if someone is unattractive or undesirable?
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I doubt it is attainable. But I could be wrong, I certainly dont know everything.

Thats a relative thing anyways. Whats attractive to me isn't always attractive to someone else. So really, my opinion on someone's physical appearance wont matter on a larger scale. Not talking about personalities of course. Thats a whole different world altogether.
 
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