Do you think you're ugly?

[RingsOfSaturn]

I flip-flop between thinking that I'm ugly and thinking that I'm being ridiculous for thinking it. Most of my issues are mostly in regards to bullying that I went through when I was younger about my appearance and my weight and even though, logically, I know that I don't look the same as I did then it's still carried over and I still feel the same way about myself now as I did years back.

I've found that the best way for me to not feel that way is just to push those feelings down and lie to myself as much as possible. If I tell myself that I look good and that I'm awesome enough times, eventually I start to believe it and it really improves my day. I also changed the way I dress; before, I'd wear baggy clothes and things like that because I felt like crap and I covered everything up but it works the other way around, too, and I figured out that wearing all of that makes me feel worse about myself.

Those things don't always work, but sometimes they do enough for me to push me out of the awfulawfulhorrible range and into something I can live with.

 

[InvisaLady]

You know what the worst thing is? Haveing everyone tell you you look just like your mom when she is hideous! Happens to me all the time.

 

[akala]

Yes, I do... it prevents me from leaving the house sometimes... but I learned that it's important not to get caught up in the details, and just accept yourself as a whole.

 

[Subpop]

I don't like my eyes. I have had people comment on my eyes when I was younger and those comments have become part of my psyche.

 

[Richey]

yeah i mean generally its just being out of shape that causes people to think they are ugly. its also something to do with clothes i think. not being sure of you come across. do you have any swagger etc?

but lets face it. some people are just luckier when it comes to looks and its an auto boost of confidence for them.

i still remember this girl i used to be friends with, but she would only consider the taller, muscle clad guy, who was also better looking, which is very common. i notice that alot. that expectation to tick all the boxes. if you don't then alot of the time it's just not going to happen. sadly.


Now the issue with all of this is that looks are fleeting at best. You generally notice people are good looking or ordinary, or different because that is the only association you have of them initially. Because you don't know them at all. You just walk past them and assume a bunch of stuff.

Once you get to know anyone, the looks aspect doesn't register over time. Because you start associating them as the personality they are and your relationship with that, you don't walk into a room with them and think "how do they look today", generally.

y'know ...so i dunno....if that makes sense.

Try and think of it like that. Change your perception of what may seem visually confronting based on assumption and judgement.

 

[BigJoe82]

i claim myself as ugly all the time yet people around me say i'm not... well duh they will say that they wont say i'm ugly to my face. i mean if i'm so good looking why don't the ladies jump at me like flies on poo. maybe its the whole social anxiety part i guess.

 

[Xervello]

Depends on the day. I'm somewhat of a narcissist. I'm obsessed with my own reflection in the mirror. Some days I'll think "nope, not gonna happen, even I wouldn't do myself" and then other days it'll be "hmm, not bad; looking kinda good." The benefit of being a guy is that we kind of get more attractive as we age - just so long as we keep our bodies in check. Women get the short stick on that one. At any rate, I'm 36 and I'm just NOW starting to look like I'm an adult. So I feel less ugly than I used to.