Ugly doesn't even begin to describe it. I feel so hopeless within my own body. I avoid mirrors at all costs. It's mostly because of my weight, though. I've accepted my face as something that I simply just cannot change. My weight, however, is my fault. Most days, I feel like I'm nothing but a disgusting, fat parasite.
I was looking in the mirror earlier (something that I should NOT do; especially when depressed). I lifted up my shirt and even though I know I'm overweight, it really just hit me hard. Seeing how flabby I am everywhere and how big my gut is...it truly makes me want to put a bullet in my brain. And the fact that it makes me feel THAT horrible, makes it even worse because I know it's not that big of a deal. I make it to be a huge problem, though. Sure, I could work my ass off and lose weight...but is it really worth it? I can't stay motivated. My depression kicks in and I just don't want to anymore. Not to mention the fact that I have no money to go out and get healthy food. Or any food, for that matter.
/end emoness.