Do you think it's possible to be happy alone?

EnigmatiConduit

Well-known member
I'm not sure that we "need" a significant other to be happy but rather we may need what we do desire. We are social creatures and whether that quota be filled with acquaintances, friends, or a partner - i think we do need some form of togetherness/interation.
 

Rufus

Well-known member
If it's wired into us, then why was I successfully able to re-program myself and completely remove that desire?

I don't know. Right now you don't have the desire, within 1/5/10/20/30 years it's more than likely that you will. It's something that's just in all animals, without it they wouldn't reproduce and species would go extinct pretty quickly. Simple really. :)

But if you're happy being alone and that happiness will last throughout your whole life then more power to you, honestly. I just think you'll end up missing out on one of the greatest things in life.

Only my 2 cents worth.
 

EnigmatiConduit

Well-known member
I don't know. Right now you don't have the desire, within 1/5/10/20/30 years it's more than likely that you will. It's something that's just in all animals, without it they wouldn't reproduce and species would go extinct pretty quickly. Simple really. :)

But if you're happy being alone and that happiness will last throughout your whole life then more power to you, honestly. I just think you'll end up missing out on one of the greatest things in life.

Only my 2 cents worth.

Nice reply :)
 

A friend

Well-known member
I don't know. Right now you don't have the desire, within 1/5/10/20/30 years it's more than likely that you will. It's something that's just in all animals, without it they wouldn't reproduce and species would go extinct pretty quickly. Simple really. :)

But if you're happy being alone and that happiness will last throughout your whole life then more power to you, honestly. I just think you'll end up missing out on one of the greatest things in life.

Only my 2 cents worth.

I strongly disagree.

The main reason behind trying to re-write my desires was mainly due to my depression from being single. That's why put that energy into removing that need.

Facts:

You see, when all women have no interest in you at all, then one's chances of gaining that is literally impossible. I stopped putting energy and effort into that, because it's painful enough trying to find "that special someone",

and when you succeed, you end up finding the wrong person and you get b***ched at and cheated on for the rest of your life.

Someone's chance of finding the correct person is slim, so slim that the human brain would be incapable of calculating just how unlikely that is.

Having that sort of relationship is also an extremely stressful job, except you gain no payment or benefits AT ALL. Instead, you recieve a one-hour session of getting yelled at, and a slap in the face once that ends.

Opinion:

So basically, it's a very crude thing and nothing good can come out of it. Whoever thinks otherwise is probably smoking 30 pounds of weed every three hours, or has worse mental health than someone who has spent their entire lives being tortured in the most painful way possible.
 

Steppen-Wolf

Well-known member
I think it's possible to be happy alone, but it needs to be a choice.

No "I couldn't find my significant other for whatever reason so I'm just gonna be alone and tell myself I'm happy."

You need to have experienced both options to their full extent, then some people (not many in my opinion) might choose to be alone as their path to happyness.

Therefore, I think that for most suffering from SA this is indeed impossible... We just haven't been able to experience that aspect of life, and happyness can never come from things imposed on you.
 

MaliceInWickedland

Well-known member
It's certainly possible to be perfectly content being on your own, but I don't think I would be and I know for fact that I'm not now that I'm single. I've had a good amount of bad experiences with relationships and still have a lot to learn from them as I'm only 17, but I have a pretty good sense of how it feels to really love someone and how lonely it feels when you see all these couples sitting around you in public, being all lovey-dovey while you're sitting there all by yourself in all your glorious awkwardness, longing for someone's hand to hold and lips to kiss. Call me a hopeless romantic but that's just me.
 

MaliceInWickedland

Well-known member
I think it's possible to be happy alone, but it needs to be a choice.

No "I couldn't find my significant other for whatever reason so I'm just gonna be alone and tell myself I'm happy."

You need to have experienced both options to their full extent, then some people (not many in my opinion) might choose to be alone as their path to happyness.

Therefore, I think that for most suffering from SA this is indeed impossible... We just haven't been able to experience that aspect of life, and happyness can never come from things imposed on you.

Awesome post. Couldn't agree more.
Completely unrelated to this thread, lol ---> I would also like to point out how absolutely amazing your avatar is. I love huskies!! >.<
Please excuse my spontaneity. Carry on ::p:
 

Fighter86

Well-known member
Yes I think it is possible to be happy alone, not everyone needs a significant other. For myself, I do need and wish for a partner to share my life, but they need not nessasarily be a significant other that I am looking to marry or anything too serious. I probably won't be able to handle anything on that scale. Further, I have not found anyone I want to establish something serious with (I meet lots of jerks, seriously) nor have I had anyone expressed an intense interest in me.
 

MollyBeGood

Well-known member
Anything is possible. If you choose it consciously, and you want it, then Yes...You can be happy alone:D But if you feel that feeling that pulls at you constantly to be with someone and know deep down that happiness is best when shared, then you probably can't be alone and really content/happy.
 

bluemoonrising

Active member
Yeah, its possible. Pretty sure its not a universal truth though, some people would be miserable on their own, those kind of people simply need other people. It takes a lot of strength and confidence to not need anyone but yourself.
 
Yes I think it is possible to be happy alone, not everyone needs a significant other. For myself, I do need and wish for a partner to share my life, but they need not nessasarily be a significant other that I am looking to marry or anything too serious. I probably won't be able to handle anything on that scale. Further, I have not found anyone I want to establish something serious with (I meet lots of jerks, seriously) nor have I had anyone expressed an intense interest in me.

That's pretty much the same boat I am in.
 

A friend

Well-known member
Me too, and I have something to say:

Excuse me if I am offending anyone, but as I've observed in the last 20 years that I've been alive, I found that not one couple that I know of has been happy. This has been observed on the internet as well.

Love is not the key to happiness. It is the polar opposite, that's just my opinion that's been wired into my brain.

There's someone for everyone, love is real, and you will find it one day.

My reaction:

...What the hell have you been smoking?
 
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Deus_Ex_Lemur

Well-known member
We can't rely on someone else to make our happiness for us - only WE can do that ourselves. It has to be a choice. Someone else can make you happy, but you have to be able to find happiness within yourself first or you give them too much power and unfairly so, for them too, it's no one else's job to make you happy.

But again - once you can be able to find happiness within yourself everything will be better - esp when you find that special someone.
 

drganon

Well-known member
I know I wouldn't mind being alone. There are only a select few people on this planet I actually like.
 

panicsurvivor

Well-known member
Personally, I think it is essential to be happy on your own before you find a relationship. I think if you are unhappy alone, you should find a way to be happy on your own. Then you are ready to be in a relationship. Too many people think that finding a relationship will make them happy. It just doesn't work like that. You might be happier for a while, but then after the newness of the relationship wears off, you will still be unhappy. Eventually it will break your relationship up. So yeah not only is it possible, it is necessary if you want your relationship to work.
 
I'm honestly not sure. I'll always want some alone time, but I don't know that I want to be alone forever. I agree with PS above, though, in that I think you need to be able to be happy with yourself alone before you can be happy in a relationship. But I have had zilch relationship experience, so listening to me probably isn't a good idea.

The title of this thread reminded me of one of my favorite songs that kind of discusses this issue.
‪Happy Alone, Earlimart‬‏ - YouTube
 

ridicule

Well-known member
It's all in about how you view society, I suppose. I like to pose it like this: if you were the last person on Earth, would you want to live? If you do, congratulations, relationships aren't for you. But some don't see a point to life without people. There are two kinds of humans in my eyes, ones who entertain me and/or can help me achieve my ends, and people who get the **** in my way.
 
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