EnigmatiConduit
Well-known member
Thanks i appreciate that
Do you think it's possible to be happy alone?
- Thread starter elek2ronik
- Start date
Thanks i appreciate that
EnigmatiConduit
Well-known member
You will find your cynicism will get you no where. Have fun experiencing nothing in life
SonicShyGuy
Member
Interesting question. I've always struggled with finding happiness when isolated. That lack of social interaction hurts, especially if it continues for long periods of time. On the other hand, sometimes I appreciate the peace and quiet; it allows me to focus and spend my time on creative/productive pursuits.
DRAGON
Member
this comes from a book i found very valuable:
The aloneness is total and complete.
Not loneliness but aloneness. Loneliness is always concerned with others; aloneness is concerned with oneself.
Aloneness is the joy of being just yourself. It is being joyous with yourself, it is enjoying your own company. There are very few people who enjoy their own company.
And it is a very strange world: nobody enjoys his company and everybody wants others to enjoy his company!
If they don't enjoy he feels insulted -- and alone he feels disgusted with himself. In fact, if YOU cannot enjoy your own company, who else is going to enjoy it?
Aloneness, solitude is positive. It is overflowing joy for no reason. It is our very nature to be joyous; hence there is no need to depend on anybody else. There is no other motive in it, it is simply there. Just as the water flows downwards, your being rises upwards. Just give it a chance -- give it solitude. And remember again, solitude is not solitariness, just as aloneness is not loneliness.
Your Aloneness is your essential being.
You must make a distinction between two words: lonely and alone. In the dictionary they carry the same meaning, but those who have been meditating, they know the distinction. They are not the same, they are as different as possible.
Loneliness is an ugly thing; loneliness is a depressive thing -- it is a sadness; it is an absence of the other.
Loneliness is the absence of the other -- you would like the other to be there, but the other is not, and you feel that and you miss them. YOU are not there in loneliness, the absence of the other is there. Alone? -- it is totally different. YOU are there, it is your presence; it is a positive phenomenon. You don't miss the other, you meet yourself.
Then you are alone, alone like a peak, tremendously beautiful! Sometimes you even feel a terror -- but it has a beauty. But the presence is the basic thing: you are present to yourself. You are not lonely, you are with yourself. Alone, you are not lonely, you are with yourself. Lonely, you are simply lonely -- there is no one.
You are not with yourself and you are missing the other. Loneliness is negative, an absence; aloneness is positive, a presence.
If you are alone, you grow, because there is space to grow -- nobody else to hamper, nobody else to obstruct, nobody else to create more complex problems.
Ordinarily a man is alone, a woman is alone. Loneliness is there. Even if you are attached to a man or woman or a friend, and it is only the attachment of lust, you will remain lonely.
Have you not watched it? Attached to a woman, attached to a man, but still you remain lonely. Somewhere deep down there is no communication with the other; you are cut off, like islands.
Even dialogue seems to be impossible. Lovers ordinarily never talk to each other, because each talk creates argument, and each talk brings conflict. By and by, they learn to be silent; by and by, they learn somehow to avoid the other, or at the most, tolerate. But they remain lonely. Even if the other is there, there is space; the inner space remains unfulfilled.
Aloneness is the state of mind when you are constantly delighted in yourself. Loneliness is miserable, aloneness is blissful. Loneliness is always worried, missing something, hankering for something, desiring for something; aloneness is a deep fulfillment, not going out, tremendously content, happy, celebrating. In loneliness you are off center, in aloneness you are centered and rooted. Aloneness is beautiful. It has an elegance around it, a grace, a climate of tremendous satisfaction. Loneliness is; beggarly; all around it there is begging and nothing else. It has no grace around it. In fact it is ugly. Loneliness is a dependence.
This part is added for relationships between two have done their inner marriage work..
Become alone. First start enjoying yourself, first love yourself. First, become so authentically happy that if nobody comes, it doesn’t matter. You are full, overflowing. If nobody knocks at your door, it is perfectly okay-you are not missing anything. You are not waiting for somebody to come and knock at the door. You are at home-if somebody comes, good, beautiful. If nobody comes, that too is beautiful and good. Then move into a relationship. Now you move like a master, not a beggar. Now you move like an emperor, not a beggar.
And the person who has lived in his aloneness will always be attracted to another person who is also living his aloneness beautifully, because like attracts like. When two masters meet–masters of their beings, of their aloneness–happiness is not just added, it is multiplied. It becomes a tremendous phenomenon of celebration. And they don’t exploit, they share. They don’t use each other. On the contrary, they become one and enjoy the existence that surrounds them.
This aloneness is worth more than a thousand lives.
This freedom is worth more than all the lands on earth.
To be one with the truth for just a moment,
Is worth more than the world and life itself.- Rumi
a great man once said...... the kingdom of god is within you......
The aloneness is total and complete.
Not loneliness but aloneness. Loneliness is always concerned with others; aloneness is concerned with oneself.
Aloneness is the joy of being just yourself. It is being joyous with yourself, it is enjoying your own company. There are very few people who enjoy their own company.
And it is a very strange world: nobody enjoys his company and everybody wants others to enjoy his company!
If they don't enjoy he feels insulted -- and alone he feels disgusted with himself. In fact, if YOU cannot enjoy your own company, who else is going to enjoy it?
Aloneness, solitude is positive. It is overflowing joy for no reason. It is our very nature to be joyous; hence there is no need to depend on anybody else. There is no other motive in it, it is simply there. Just as the water flows downwards, your being rises upwards. Just give it a chance -- give it solitude. And remember again, solitude is not solitariness, just as aloneness is not loneliness.
Your Aloneness is your essential being.
You must make a distinction between two words: lonely and alone. In the dictionary they carry the same meaning, but those who have been meditating, they know the distinction. They are not the same, they are as different as possible.
Loneliness is an ugly thing; loneliness is a depressive thing -- it is a sadness; it is an absence of the other.
Loneliness is the absence of the other -- you would like the other to be there, but the other is not, and you feel that and you miss them. YOU are not there in loneliness, the absence of the other is there. Alone? -- it is totally different. YOU are there, it is your presence; it is a positive phenomenon. You don't miss the other, you meet yourself.
Then you are alone, alone like a peak, tremendously beautiful! Sometimes you even feel a terror -- but it has a beauty. But the presence is the basic thing: you are present to yourself. You are not lonely, you are with yourself. Alone, you are not lonely, you are with yourself. Lonely, you are simply lonely -- there is no one.
You are not with yourself and you are missing the other. Loneliness is negative, an absence; aloneness is positive, a presence.
If you are alone, you grow, because there is space to grow -- nobody else to hamper, nobody else to obstruct, nobody else to create more complex problems.
Ordinarily a man is alone, a woman is alone. Loneliness is there. Even if you are attached to a man or woman or a friend, and it is only the attachment of lust, you will remain lonely.
Have you not watched it? Attached to a woman, attached to a man, but still you remain lonely. Somewhere deep down there is no communication with the other; you are cut off, like islands.
Even dialogue seems to be impossible. Lovers ordinarily never talk to each other, because each talk creates argument, and each talk brings conflict. By and by, they learn to be silent; by and by, they learn somehow to avoid the other, or at the most, tolerate. But they remain lonely. Even if the other is there, there is space; the inner space remains unfulfilled.
Aloneness is the state of mind when you are constantly delighted in yourself. Loneliness is miserable, aloneness is blissful. Loneliness is always worried, missing something, hankering for something, desiring for something; aloneness is a deep fulfillment, not going out, tremendously content, happy, celebrating. In loneliness you are off center, in aloneness you are centered and rooted. Aloneness is beautiful. It has an elegance around it, a grace, a climate of tremendous satisfaction. Loneliness is; beggarly; all around it there is begging and nothing else. It has no grace around it. In fact it is ugly. Loneliness is a dependence.
This part is added for relationships between two have done their inner marriage work..
Become alone. First start enjoying yourself, first love yourself. First, become so authentically happy that if nobody comes, it doesn’t matter. You are full, overflowing. If nobody knocks at your door, it is perfectly okay-you are not missing anything. You are not waiting for somebody to come and knock at the door. You are at home-if somebody comes, good, beautiful. If nobody comes, that too is beautiful and good. Then move into a relationship. Now you move like a master, not a beggar. Now you move like an emperor, not a beggar.
And the person who has lived in his aloneness will always be attracted to another person who is also living his aloneness beautifully, because like attracts like. When two masters meet–masters of their beings, of their aloneness–happiness is not just added, it is multiplied. It becomes a tremendous phenomenon of celebration. And they don’t exploit, they share. They don’t use each other. On the contrary, they become one and enjoy the existence that surrounds them.
This aloneness is worth more than a thousand lives.
This freedom is worth more than all the lands on earth.
To be one with the truth for just a moment,
Is worth more than the world and life itself.- Rumi
a great man once said...... the kingdom of god is within you......
No .
TheSanctuarian
Well-known member
No going to elaborate? very blunt answer.
If it was we wouldn't be on this site
TheSanctuarian
Well-known member
Well played. very good point.
I'm alone. I'm not happy. Is not the only reason I'm not happy, but it doesn't help at all.
Section_31
Well-known member
I think it IS possible, for some.
Im not one of those people. Im very needy in a relationship, and if i have no one to share things with i get very depressed, very easily.
Its wierd though, if i feel needed by someone else, i dont feel needy anymore. But i feel at peace and content.
When my hunny went on a school trip to Israel for a month, man, i was lost. it was so wierd to come home to an empty house and have no one to play warcraft with, or do any of the normal things we do .
So in short, no, I personally wouldnt be able to be fully happy alone. I would feel very incomplete.
Im not one of those people. Im very needy in a relationship, and if i have no one to share things with i get very depressed, very easily.
Its wierd though, if i feel needed by someone else, i dont feel needy anymore. But i feel at peace and content.
When my hunny went on a school trip to Israel for a month, man, i was lost. it was so wierd to come home to an empty house and have no one to play warcraft with, or do any of the normal things we do .
So in short, no, I personally wouldnt be able to be fully happy alone. I would feel very incomplete.
Pink_Paula
Well-known member
Although i'm in a relationship right now, when i have been single i never felt alone or destitute, i enjoyed the freedom to do what i want when i want without worrying about having to answer to someone else, but i do enjoy being in a relationship as well so i guess in my case being single and being in a relationship makes me happy!
A friend
Well-known member
Ouch, that was a little crude and hostile. That post was kind of childish and immature, what you said there.
coyote
Well-known member
there's no ONE right answer for everyone
some people do better in a relationship
some people do better single
some people do better sticking with one person for 50+ years
some people do better juggling relationships with 2 or more partners at once
it's a big world
there's room for everyone
some people do better in a relationship
some people do better single
some people do better sticking with one person for 50+ years
some people do better juggling relationships with 2 or more partners at once
it's a big world
there's room for everyone
A friend
Well-known member
That is the most correct thing I've read on the internet so far.
Uhh....
Very good positive input, very good.
Mr_Vabanque
Active member
Mikebird:
Could you elaborate a bit on that ? I'd be interested.