Do you replay events over and over?

[Kinetik]

This is a big problem for me lately. Every time I have an unpleasant interaction with someone, I fantasize over how it should've gone. If there was anything I could've done to come across stronger or more put-together, I will roleplay it that way in my head afterwards because I can't live with how weak or foolish I think I was in that moment.

I'm finding more and more that I dread social situations because of the mental aftermath. I know the obsessing will be unbearable. It continues for weeks sometimes. I often think back to awkward events that happened years ago, and I STILL feel uncomfortable, embarrassed, and angry by them as soon as I recall them. It's becoming exhausting.

I can't seem to let myself make mistakes. I feel a great deal of shame when it comes to social goof-ups I've made in the past - even if others probably thought nothing of them at the time. I am so heightened to them though, for some reason.

 

[LazyHermitCrab]

If you think you will mess up just say WHATEVER i'll either screw up or do well in the future life goes on

 

[Kinetik]

If you think you will mess up just say WHATEVER i'll either screw up or do well in the future life goes on

I'd give anything to be able to let go so easily. Somehow my mind just says "no, this and that was unacceptable" and so the replaying begins.

 

[NathanielWingatePeaslee]

Yes. A lot, and I always have. Not nearly as much as I used to though, especially when I'm trying to sleep at night. That used to keep me up and in an unpleasant state.

 

[Kinetik]

Yes. A lot, and I always have. Not nearly as much as I used to though, especially when I'm trying to sleep at night. That used to keep me up and in an unpleasant state.

Did you just naturally start worrying less over time? Or was there anything specific involved?

 

[The Lost]

Yup. Sometimes to the point where I feel sick. At night, when it's worse, I listen to music to try and help both distract and relax my head.

 

[NathanielWingatePeaslee]

Did you just naturally start worrying less over time? Or was there anything specific involved?

When I realized what a serious problem replaying painful moments of my past at night was, I became determined to set my mind to work on perfecting some random, non-sexual fantasy, and replaying that over and over in an attempt to perfect it instead. Every time I realized I was replaying actual events, I would yell at myself in my head.

Come to think, a lot of the progress I've made involves becoming aware of my various unhealthy thoughts and yelling at myself. I somehow doubt it would work for anyone else.

 

[Tulicks]

This is the way I think... I can't go back in time and correct bad aftermath so the only thing to do is shrug it off and move on forward. I know that's easier said than done but that's where logical thinking comes into play... irrational thoughts can strengthen social anxiety and depression. Logical or rational thoughts allow us the ability to take more control over lives emotionally. When an irrational thought comes in, like... I should have said this or that... which you can't do because it's impossible to rewind time... stop it immediately with logical thinking... what's done is done in other words and move on.

 

[coyote]

i'v had a huge problem with this most of my life

it has gotten much better in the past couple of years

i use the "becoming aware of my various unhealthy thoughts and yelling at myself" technique also

it seems to work for me

 

[LazyHermitCrab]

I'd give anything to be able to let go so easily. Somehow my mind just says "no, this and that was unacceptable" and so the replaying begins.

Yeah same which is why i have to leave the tv on when i go to sleep sometimes. Just know you're not alone. I was recently thinking about something that happend a week ago. You can always improve You don't seem like a gerk or something I bet you're percieved better then you think

 

[Iluv]

Yes and it's gotten really bad to some points where I do something stupid to try and forget about it. Why can't life have a rewind button? I attract bad events so I find myself constantly thinking about the what ifs?. But nothing works...

 

[MikeyC]

Why can't life have a rewind button?

I'm sure everyone in the world would love this.

 

[Invisibleman]

I do this all of the time. Even the most trivial of experiences haunts me for days afterwards.

A few days ago this guy I know whos incredibly smart, like im talking Aristotle smart,was talking with a teacher about deep and complex stuff. I mustered all of my might to chip in and I made myself look like a complete f**king idiot. I opened my mouth and my usual deep voice was nothing more than a squeak,my voice was so noticeably wobbly it sounded like i was about to cry,I tripped up on my words almost instantly and it was so embarassing. The guy responded with a really douchey "yeah...ok"


^This has been running through my mind over and over for days,I cant even think about it,it was seriously one of the most embarassing moments in my life.

 

[this_portrait]

I don't replay events so much as I practically relive them. I do this with both negative and positive interactions. It makes sense with the positive ones (because who WOULDN'T want to relive their positive memories?) but as for the negative ones, I'm not sure why I relive them. I think part of the reason has to do with not making the same mistakes again, but in a way they kinda haunt me (but that's probably because I'm a rather sensitive person).

 

[Kiwong]

I create dramatic scripts creating paranoid scenarios from snatches of truth.

 

[she1slander]

There are some strategies that I've learned to help me get over those painful and cringeworthy memories and that is to envision the scene in black and white. And then just like watching an old black and white film on a videotape, fastforward the scene 4x and include the silent film music in the background, you know, the carnival type where all the actors are running around like crazy where one drops dead and wakes up and does a stupid dance. Usually after this, I start picturing all the actors are played by Charlie Chaplin and all the female characters have mustaches. lol After that, the memories aren't so bad anymore and you'll start to just laugh it off and move on. Charley Chase: Outdoor Pajamas - Opening - YouTube

 

[hidwell]

This is one of the reasons why I have avoided doing so many things with my life. It is quite unhealthy to relive past moments over and over again. If only we could delete this part of our memory, we could be so much braver and happier.

 

[Kiwong]

Why can't life have a rewind button?

Or a fast forward to speed through the really bad bits

 

[theslowesthand]

Sometimes i say out loud to myself 'just SHUT-UP!!!' to try stop the endless (& mostly false) "guilt-tripping"

It like i have OCD after seeing people. Or a minor form of PTSD.

 

[bcsr]

yep, sometimes to the point of being unable to sleep at night. my brain wont shut down.