Do you replay events over and over?

[Rembrandt Broam]

Yep. It's not even as though my brain replays them in an attempt to figure out a way in which the situation could have gone better; it just replays them for the sheer fun of torturing me.

"Hey Rem, do you remember that awkward situation that happened 6 years ago? No? Well I do. Here it is, in a level of detail that would put a BluRay disk to shame, for you to relive in all its glory. And when you're done with that...are you absolutely sure you locked the front door when you left the house this morning, because I have to be honest and tell you that I'm not....."

 

[MrJones]

Yes I do, especially when they ended badly and especially if it was my fault. I could always do something better.

 

[BC-chick]

oh man, i totally understand u there.. i am like this too. We have to move one from the past. We have to tell ourselves that we DON'T LIVE IN THE PAST. WE LIVE IN THE PRESENT

 

[mad2rix]

Yeah, leaving our dark past behind is harder than I expected to be. It's best that we move on.

 

[The Observer]

This is your egogic mind at work. It absoulety loves to bring you back to the past and dwell on bad experiences. Likewise, it loves to push your thoughts into the future and make you worry about future events that haven't even happened. Do a search for the egogic mind on google and you will find some answers. If you wanna knnow how to stop it...Just stop feeding it my friend.

 

[Etbow23]

Yes, this is a big thing with me. Obsessing over every interaction, or if I was rude, whatever. I think it's my insecurities.

 

[MikeyC]

Yes I do, especially when they ended badly and especially if it was my fault. I could always do something better.

Ah, yeah, I know this. I am currently going through at least one scenario where I realise I could've handled it better, but it's in the past now. Still, I always wonder....

 

[Squall]

I always replay me leaving home.

 

[tinkerpunk5802]

yep. i've always been like that, with everything though. not just social.

 

[lilmutegirl]

It continues for weeks sometimes. I often think back to awkward events that happened years ago, and I STILL feel uncomfortable, embarrassed, and angry by them as soon as I recall them. It's becoming exhausting.
QUOTE]

I feel the exact same way. In fact, earlier today, I thought about a situation with my ex husband years ago and it still angered me.

 

[WeirdyMcGee]

Not obsessively.
I recall things at times but don't really replay things other than events leading to my PTSD.
I can't seem to not focus on those.

Nothing social though, really.

 

[cowboyup]

Oh, holy cow, that is exactly what is bother me today - this whole weekend actually.

I had a pleasant encounter (we'll leave it at that) with someone of the opposite sex last weekend and as I was walking out and this person said, "drive safely" to which I replied, "thanks, keep in touch, love ya man"

Yes sir, Bob. I said it and it has been plaguing my mind ever since. I did it in a casual way, not too clingy (or was I?) this person has been quiet ever since (or is it my imagination?) we talked once since this incident and he seemed a bit distant (or am I over-thinking my behemothic slip up?)

Granted, this is, by no means, huge or life shattering but I worry and have replayed this over and over like a never ending bad B movie.

Oh, how I wish I had something to turn my brain off! <-- any suggestions? haha!

On a general basis, I do tend to replay events over and over in my head thinking how I could have done or said something different, and come to the same conclusion, Yes, probably or perhaps, no. generally, once I throw things around in my head over and over - I exhaust myself worry and eventually as the days (yes DAYS) pass, the event seems less and less important. Most of the time.

 

[R3K]

holy moses, someone finally brought this topic up, and worded it well too (OP.)

i've been doing this my whole life, but i call it "running scenarios," where i replay almost every single possible scenario of events (words/gestures) i could have or should have used in any particular social encounter. it's very stressful and keeps me up til dawn sometimes, but ive been getting slightly better over teh past few years.

the only immediate solution is to have a small success somewhere. like, seriously, i used some stupid small talk--which i hate using--with a customer interaction event... and the person responded positively. even though i used some dumbass clichè line and didn't even deliver it very well. nevertheless it was a small success and gave me a small confidence boost.

so now when i'm running my scenarios, i'm imagining myself doing slightly better than i used to, and i'm actually kind of strategizing what i might say in future in encounters. "Might," because i probably won't... at least not until i gain a ton more confidence.

it's all about giving in to dumb, lame-ass small talk tactics (weather/local sports teams/hairstyle compliments, etc.) and building from there. basically i've determined that it's not even about significant info exchange or any kind of enlightening life-improving discussion. rather just get a positive conversational reaction from the person you're interacting with. <-- if i saw myself type that phrase 5 years ago, i'd stab myself in the eyeballs with knifes

 

[Agent_Violet]

i do it even with good interactions. i just obsess about how i handled things,what i said,did i come off stupid,arrogant,rude,funny,etc...

when it's a bad interaction i replay all the things i could have said to seem more stable or put together or more mature.

it's vicious and i hate it but i guess it's part of who i am.

 

[CrazyGirl]

Yes and it sucks big time

 

[Boby]

Yes i do.It has been a big problem for me too.I do replay recent events like major social interactions and even if everything was ok i still find allot of things that i didn't like about my behaviour in that event.
And then i start fantasize over how i should've behaved.
I also think back on past embarrassing moments of my life ...actually very often, in fact anything that is slightly related to that moment in my life will trigger the emotions that i had experienced back then.
The thing is only the emotions come back not the actual memory,in fact i can't even stand to replay does really embarrassing moments.

 

[Aletheia]

I often think back to awkward events that happened years ago.... I can't seem to let myself make mistakes.

This. They still make me squirm and even hit myself if it's bad enough.

I'm still feeling agitated about the dorky things I said and did last night, even though the people I was with probably didn't care or even notice.

 

[Vampayah88]

I do this all the time. Today for example I was walking with my boyfriend and we had an encounter with a guy who goes to the same college as us and we stopped to say hi and neither of us could say much..the guy asked "So how are things going?" and my bf was like "Ah well u know..just had a ****ty cold..." and then suddenly awkward silence. It seemed like the guy was waiting for us or for me to say something but I couldnt get a single word out, i just kinda stood there. Now i keep thinking about this over and over...