I'm very harsh on myself when it comes to how I look to the point that it causes me to not want to put much effort into my apperance because I only end up frustrated. I do keep up with basic hygenie, but when it comes to things like fashion, my hair, or makeup I feel like it's overall a wasted effort for me because in my mind there's still always something off about how I look.
A large part of that mindset comes from being teased and insulted often in the past, with a lot of the worst comments coming from members of my family. I guess I never fully recovered from it.
Hi Jasmine, I can relate to how you feel. I was only ever teased within my family. Being the youngest of five girls... They could get pretty creative. I know that they didn't do it in a malicious way, its just something siblings do.... But that shit stayed with me.
I started altering my appearance with makeup, hair dye, piercings... Everything drastically.... Until I looked nothing like myself. And I loved it. But.... I do realize it wasn't what I wanted. My nieces and nephews didn't recognize me in our family pictures from before... They only knew me as I'd changed, so slowly I started shedding some of the layers. While keeping true to myself.
From what you have shared on here.... I think you are quite beautiful. And have such an amazing gift of voice. If you want to try out makeup and fashion, do it on your terms.... Not what is in or not in. Try out new stuff, even if it looks ugly on the hanger or on the webpage (I do most shopping online and at thrift stores).
I'm not saying that you have to change who you are or your style, but I know that when I feel down about myself, a change always makes me feel better. Whether it's adding eyeliner, cutting my bangs, or whatever.
My sisters sometimes make comments to tease me, because that's what we do. I just got my nose repeirced this weekend, and on of them told me it looked like a booger. I usually tell them to go choke on a fat ****, but in this case, i dared her... And she got her nose pierced too. Im still shocked she did it lol. We are all close and tease each other, and I doubt they understand the impact that such teasing had on me when we were kids, but I don't get upset. I just deal with it the best that I can.
Don't be scared to do new things and reinvent yourself. Try new colors and styles... Cut them up, and make them your own. It's a creative outlet, plus you might make or find something you love.